Saturday, December 5, 2009

In Lieu of Photos (So Far)

Today, while failing utterly at making a stupid, simple slip learning some incredibly useful lessons about sewing and how to develop as a human being (sorry, I meant human doing), I discovered that:
  • It's better to err on the side of buying too much edging lace (even at 12 bucks a yard) because, when you are 4 inches short and your entire fucking project is ruined, it's kind of frustrating. Oh, and you still wasted 12 bucks on lace and 9 bucks on fabric only now you have nothing to show for it.
  • Picot edge doesn't mean the bumpy side of the elastic.
  • Pulling the elastic taught while sewing is not "clear and simple".
  • Lingerie tricot is a fickle bitch and you should cut her.
  • If you think you're getting a home made item of clothing from me this Xmas you are HIGH on drugs.
I don't even know what to say at this point. I'm so approaching hateful of everyone who's ever made a slip and said it's simple - even the wonderful, talented ones who post on it (with very clear instructions) for my learning enjoyment. It's. NOT. simple. Till you've manipulated that fabric and pulled on that elastic, it's a free-for-all of optimism. After, well then it's just demoralizing.

Tomorrow I'm going to figure out how to make one decent slip if I have to go out and spend a mint on lace (ugh) or start from scratch with a woven fabric or, as luck usually dictates, some combination of both.

Did I mention I just went to see New Moon this afternoon with 2 tweeny girls? Honestly the worst movie ever. For what it's worth, I'm not an advocate of abstinence (I know, you're shocked). That's just self-deprivation. Respectful and safe sex at a stage of maturity (certainly the point at which those pale, horrible characters were), natch, but honestly, those two should just fuck and get it over with.

PS: I have really bad PMS and I'm venting. Will return to the love-in with sewing presently.


  1. Haha oh my, you sound like you're having fun! Just when I was contemplating a reunion with my neglected sewing machine, you've snapped me back into reality. I'm probably going to be stupid and dive into the crazy world of cushion-making regardless (baby steps!), but I promise that I'll blog my progress even if I happen to suck majorly (highly likely!)

    Speaking of sucking majorly, I still haven't seen New Moon, but from the sounds of it I should save my money...or see it based on the expectation of a comedy. Decisions decisions!

    xx Kit

  2. Most compelling review of New Moon, evah!

  3. (I was agreeing with Miss WendyB—that was a very compelling review!)

  4. Oh, poor K-line! This is why I only sew quilts (and by hand)--I have no patience for all the important small things that could go wrong.

    I like your review too. I haven;t read the books or seen the film. but what I do know of the series does not appeal. Kind of like in Grade 9 when a glammy rock group came to our school!! and played hits from Styx and then suckered us all into buying tickets for their concert that Friday during which they preached at us. I like morality to be honest and open, not sneakily wrapped up in rock star hunks or hunky vampires.

  5. Hahha... ooh I am sorry :( But hey it must have been an interesting and frustrating experience!

    P.S. I am agree with you on the New MOon,not the best movie...I just don't get people these days and their obsession with it :S

  6. Love the review of New Moon.

    As for the rest, well the sewing process sounds less fun here, but then tricot is a bitch, or at least I think tricot is a bitch, but the results are so nice.

    And I think you've discovered why a lot of people who sew beautiful things for themselves and selected loved ones don't make things for others, often even family, because they are not appreciated for the love and care and effort and expense that went into them.

    You will win.

  7. Kit: Go on do it! Make the pillows. Then you can commiserate with me :-) (And I'm in a better mood today, thank goodness!)

    Wendy: I'm thinking of writing for the Times :-)

    E: Why thank you. I didn't realize that so many people had the same feeling about this movie as me. No doubt 13 has made you go see it?

    Miss C: Something tells me you never shy away from a challenge - I mean, quilting by hand sounds scary! - but thank you for commiserating.

    Marta: I've recovered somewhat today :-)

    Mardel: It's so true. I don't think I would have ever understood how much work goes into a homemade item, till I started doing this. It's a labour of LOVE.

  8. awww. well after taking my sewing class i have A LOT more appreciation for my clothes. the fact that they fit and aren't falling apart is an amazing feat of design and crafsmanship! :P

  9. Sophie: Isn't it amazing what the sewing does for your attitude? :-)