Friday, February 6, 2009

They Call Them Superfine for a Reason

You know how I've been feeling like shit. And, gotta say, I haven't been looking my red letter best. Well I dropped out of Friday night dinner with S&N - a meal I enjoy tremendously - because, with lingering sore throat and cluster cankers all over my mouth and menstrual misery etc., well, I just needed to lie on the couch and eat macaroni and cheese.

I also needed to have my glasses adjusted in rather a dire way. So I detoured into Spectacle on my walk home. (Yes, I still walk hours a day in freezing cold, despite feeling wretched. Why, I'm starting to wonder.) And what ensued - so strangely, given how I feel - is one of those shopping kismet experiences one really cannot predict. I mean, it was one of those experiences which results in the credit card company rep asking to speak to you, after keeping you on frickin' hold for 10 minutes, because she suspects fraud. And it surprises me because I needed precisely one thing (though, as always I've had a few things penciled on the mental list) and, till today, I hadn't spent a dime except on toothpaste and vitamins in more than a month.

I'm not going to detail all the items here and now. Where would be the element of surprise in that??

I will say, however, that I made use of Stylefind's great sale alert, and hit Jonathan & Olivia, a chichi boutique I've written about in some detail before. It was having a truly amazing sale and I still managed to buy the one item at full price.

And something on sale too.

Let me just say I've become one of those idiots who spends $220.00 on jeans. And another $125.00 on jeans on sale. Both pairs - the first aptly named "Superfine" to describe the sight of my trumped up ass in them, and the second, a pair of indigo, skinny Earnest Sewn's - are truly the MILFiest things I've ever owned. What do you mean, Kristin, you may ask. What makes them scream "fuckable mom"?

Well, having had 10 minutes (while waiting on hold with the credit card company) to consider this pertinent question, I can answer it with confidence. MILF jeans are not defined by their cut or the denim, the colour or even the stitching. No, MILF jeans are defined by the height of the rise.

Cuz let's face it, no self-respecting regular woman who has lived through the alien distention of her abdomen to hatch a human being, is going to be caught dead (much less sexy) wearing jeans that button at the pubic bone.

I am happy to tell you that the makers of Superfine and Earnest Sewn are in touch with this reality. And that's how they get away with charging you the price of a cheap ticket to Boston on a pair of pants that aren't even lined.

Photos and other tales to follow. Promise. But I'm curious to know who else (mother or no) has owned either of these brands. Please share your tales.


  1. I have never purchased expensive denim (I'm really not crazy about jeans for me) but am cheering for you!

  2. "no self-respecting regular woman who has lived through the alien distention of her abdomen to hatch a human being, is going to be caught dead (much less sexy) wearing jeans that button at the pubic bone."

    Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

  3. Sorry K- Only second hand levis, armani and paul smith in my bottom drawer. Oh and I once bought 2 new pairs of jeans in H&M but I needed a tranquiliser and a lie down in a darkened room with a cold compress afterwards - all the shoving through racks and trying on 26 pairs to get my fit.
    I pretty much live in the H&Ms at this time of the month though (spooky hey?) because they are stretchy and all forgiving. (perhaps they are grateful I rescued them from basement jeans bar torment)

  4. oh and as for the pubic bone jean - add in a little bit of candida for good measure and see how deliteful that cut of denim is in the summer time!
    (they should give out canesten as a gift with purchase)

  5. FILF jeans are coming back.
    Mark my words and watch for my launch party.
    I'm thinking of calling them "Filthy Filf's Jeans.

  6. No, not be...
    I don't spend to much on demin, since I don't wear it much in the office.
    My brand jeans are from Levi's and Gap, always gifts from sis in TO.

    Have a great wkend, dear


  7. I think the most I've ever spent on jeans were around $100 for a pair of Miss Sixtys. That was 2004-ish. Now I seem to be spending less and less on jeans (I don't wear them too often though). From AE then to Old Navy and now I've moved on to F21 where I bought my last two pairs of jeans at $15.90 each.

  8. A good pair of booty jeans is surely worth their weight in gold.

  9. feel better soon x
    oh and it's good in invest in jeans because you can wear them one hundred times over.

  10. I have a movie star jean habit of my own. Love them. I just bought a maternity pair. It's a sickness.

  11. I have a pair of Earnest Sewn's that are really flattering, and their inseam is just right for me-34"-hard to find. The rise is a bit low, though; they're from a few years ago. I've had good luck with Joe's Jeans too, but haven't tried Superfine. A good-fitting pair of jeans is worth 20 cheap pairs.

  12. I had one pair of Earnest Sewn that I got back in the day before rises started...rising. I had to give them away because I was just too mortified by how low they were. For about four years, during the low-rise obsession, I only had one pair of jeans.

  13. I have incubated a human in my innards, but I still prefer a low rise pair of jeans (insofar as I "like" jeans at all, which I don't really). Mid rise and high waist jeans just make me look and feel far too stumpy.

    I had a pair of Earnest Sewns which were nice quality but not too flattering on me. True Religion, Sass & Bide misfits, and Wrangler cigarette leg skinnies all fit me best.

  14. Miss C: I'm intrigued to note how many people are not really into jeans. For me they're everyday wear!

    D.: You get comment of the day!

    Hammie: I've had that (hideous) H&M experience. Let's just say J&O (where I got these) is much more pleasant :-)

    Dave: Oh wait, you get comment of the day! You and D. have to rotate. This is hilarious.

    Seeker: So you get your jeans from Canada :-)

    Y: Of course, that's the better trend - wearing them more, paying less. Somehow, I'm off the track.

    Lavender: Thank you. I totally agree!

    Jen: Thanks. And I'm trying to feel better.

    Stacey: I LOVE that. You are hardcore when you buy designer maternity denim!

    Janet: Wow, you must be very tall! I always have to take 6 inches off the bottom of my jeans :-)
    Glad to hear you like them. I think the rise has come up recently, fyi.

    Wendy: So the rises are rising! I thought so. (I figured my abs couldn't be getting more forgiving.)

    Skye: You trend-bucker! I suspect it's cuz you have a nice, flat tummy. Incubation or no :-)

  15. Me me me! I have both brands and I LOVE them both! Very flattering and comfortable, too. Post those pics, dammit.

  16. Sister: Photos to come. Promise. Soon!

    ~h: I know you love those Dior's. I've never even seen them up close, though I'd love to try on a pair.