Monday, June 16, 2008

Strange, Shaping a Womens' Cellulite Cream Like a Penis...

If you look in my wallet - in that messy sleeve where I store all my paper bits - you will see 2 primary categories of receipt. They are: Shopper's Drug Mart* and miscellaneous health food store. And let me tell you the ones for SDM are winning. Canadian readers will know about this mecca for everything from prescriptions to snack food to beauty produits galore. Some Shoppers are upscale, some more oriented to the neighbourhood crowd. I happen to know every one of them within a 5 mile radius and boy do they see me coming...

Last week I went in for some sunblock and, $150 later walked out with 3 types of ($$$) sunblock, a magazine, vitamins, toning product for the face and "special gifts with purchase". For my effort, Kathleen, my fave beauty specialist, offered me either a beach tote or cellulite product but almost immediately changed her mind decreeing that I, being who I am (that's code for: easy touch), should have tote and cellulite diminisher both. Have I mentioned how much I love a good potion?

So, it occured to me that I should make use of this freebie moment to experiment on myself in aid of discovering whether this cellulite removing product (Elancyl) is worthy of your consideration. I should disclose that cellulite is not my big problem. I should also disclose that I don't really think it's anyone's big problem, and I hope they concur. Which isn't to say that figuring out how to get a backside like Jessica Alba sans surgery or effort isn't a worthy undertaking if it doesn't come at too much expense or aggravation. My cellulite is localized, unobtrusively IMO, at the base of my bum where it meets the top part of my leg.

At first, I thought I might take a picture, daily, to chronicle the effectiveness of the product. (Not for your consumption, gentle reader, simply for my own...) Then it came to me: do I really have such ego that I can manage daily scrutinizing of the lumps and bumps shot, by the husband, using the SDL?? I mean, maybe I'm not traumatized because I never pay any attention. So I scrapped that idea and have decided, like the majority of bum-smoothing potion users, to crane my neck a the mirror in the hopes of observing miraculous results.

Here's what I can tell you so far (Day 1): It's a lovely, cool, gel-like texture and it smells a bit like a forest. Not chemical, as I understand these lotions sometimes smell. Very pleasant. Its primary ingredient, like in all of these cellulite products, is caffeine. But it didn't manage to alleviate the need for a 4 dollar coffee drunk post-haste. Updates to follow. (I'm sure this thrills!)

If any of you have ever tried this product - or one of its shelf sisters - pls. let me know your thoughts...

(*Please note: SDM ain't no Boots, but it's moving in that direction...)


  1. That store is definetly a wonderful and terrible place. So many products, and too many free gifts with purchases!

  2. hmmmm the cellulite cream... In my experience I get better results drinking loads of water for weeks on end and getting someone to give it a good spanking. That gets that sluggish circulation moving again. ;)

  3. Yeah, I'm not big into dropping tons of money on beauty products, but maybe I should?? Grrr, there's always something to spend money on...!

  4. Jill: It's torture on the credit card!

    SKM: You are hilarious! I'm going to give your plan a try :-)

    Riz: Only if you have fun doing it. I rarely spend on makeup (I just don't care about it) but creams and potions and lotions and masks. Those I cannot resist!

  5. Haha, I was just thinking SDM sounded like the equivalent of Boots. I always end up spending more than I intend to in there!

  6. I've aaaaaaalways wondered about Elancyl. I'll be interested in hearing what the results are.

  7. I have some very expensive "SOS Abdomen" stuff by Orlane. My friend gave me a bag full of their products, including a face cream that retails for $450!! Ha ha, as if! (She got it for free at the magazine where she works)

    I also have the "Refining Leg Care."

    I'm wondering if the SOS Abdomen would know the difference if I put it on my butt, since it promises to "firm and reshape."

    So far, the "Anti-age Eye COntour" has been worthless.

  8. Miss White: Nothing can compete with Boots - but addictive tendencies are addictive tendencies!

    Enc: I've done a bit of reading and so far, only the company itself agrees that the product really works. But, I'm telling you, it's day 3 and I think I may see some improvement!?

    Sister: I wondered the same thing about putting this leg stuff on my stomach! Maybe we should swap :-) I'm one of those idiots who believes that, if you spend 450 on face cream, it's that much more likely to work. Idiotically. I'm such a sucker that way. (Not that I have that moula to burn...)

  9. There are many scams out there. I've looked at the science behind many of the cellulite creams and the biology behind bodyshape makes the most sense... Don't Spend any Money because you can TRY IT FREE.. See results in four weeks Guaranteed. <<<--See Video Case Study
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