Bra Review: Lulu Tout Coco

The Lulu Tout lingerie set arrived, and was returned, with nary a blip. It did not cause even a hint of misery, though it was a pain in the ass to get to the post office in this weather and I'm out 20 bucks in shipping. It was a risk. I knew the risk. It didn't pan out.

But this purchase does make me more sure than ever that I'm not ordering Figleaves house brands in the future. Each time I've done this, I've been met with the same suboptimal (if attractive) product: one that doesn't provide anywhere near the required support for heavy, large or dense breasts.

It's not surprising. The way they keep the costs down is by using flimsy materials. Flimsy materials are just fine in bras sized for a cup volume smaller than @ 32E (34DD, 36D, 30F etc.) - or when the breasts in question are young (naturally self-supporting) or not terribly dense.

By the time you've had a kid (or two), hit your mid-late thirties or gone through menopause, chances are your breasts are too heavy for this bra's infrastructure, especially above a certain size. (Note: This brand caters to the >DD cup range aka that which is larger than the standard bra matrix size range. Arguably, its core responsibility is to provide good support.)

Look, my breasts - while heavy - are not particularly saggy. Those Cooper's ligaments are holding their own. But heavy breasts (even if they're not at your navel) need good wires - and strong materials - or one's tits are apt to bounce. Not good.

I'm more convinced than ever that a) I will wear Empreinte forever more and b) the likelihood that I will be able to make a bra that provides the support I desire - what with materials and notions that are available out there - is potentially a pipe dream. Never mind fit. That's a binary issue that will be meaningless once I crack the code. Material sourcing, not so much.

But what about the Coco bra deets? (Note: I didn't even take the undies out of the packet. I had no interest in them once I knew the bra was a dud.)

• The colour is indeed lovely.
• The baseline shape is also nice (specifically of the mesh underlayer).
• The lace overlayer is not well attached to the underlayer and it has been poorly chosen (having no stretch and being of an awkward length). Net result is that it pops away from the underlayer and leaves a very notable ridge. It actually looks wrong. I read another review on Bratabase that corroborates this but I didn't understand the extent of the issue till I tried the bra on for myself.
• It's not the most expensive-looking bra - but then it's not expensive.
• It's flimsy. Mere walking initiated unacceptable bounce.
• It's not optimal for very projected breasts. I mean, it's not a cut bra for shallow breasts, but if you have a lot of centre or immediate projection, it likely won't work well. (Note: I don't think sizing up would help - it's more of a shape compatibility thing. The gore did tack on me, but not in a firm, secure way.)
• Despite its suboptimal unsupportiveness, the band is extremely firm. I don't recommend that you buy this bra, but if you do, go up in the band.
• It's inexplicably dowdy.

I could see this working on breasts of a very specific shape (a bit wide set, full on bottom) in the smaller end of the size range but there are so many better options, IMO. Why bother with this?

So, there you have it. Public service accomplished. Now go out and buy something by Empreinte.

No, I'm Not Joking.

OK, just to give you the latest update on the cursed lingerie order from hell, I received the last outstanding bra - remember, the resend of the resend of the wrong size, today and it's the wrong fucking bra.

What I mean is (and I'm still trying to verify whether I ordered incorrectly or the warehouse shipped incorrectly), the reason the first shipment and the second one were so horrible, oversized (and hideous) is because they've been sending me the Smoothing Underwired Full Cup (this is all over the invoice and the tag), not the Smoothing Underwired Balconette.

Just to make matters more complicated, there's an online version of the Smoothing Underwired Bra that's neither billed as full cut nor balconette, which seems to be the one I ordered.

How many fucking versions of this bra do they sell??

I am quite confident that I've ordered the same bra time and again and I've heretofore received the balconette.

Now I'm trying to figure out, with the gracious assistance of Figleaves, whether the style has changed substantively (and what I'd get, were I once again to reorder - this time specifically the balconette - is not the same bra I've bought many times).

Let me say, I'd much rather be at the tail-end of the worst fucked-up order and shipping experience I've ever had (and hopefully will ever have again) than to discover the style is no longer the same. Cuz I rely on this bra, people.

For now, as we muddle through and sort things out, I'll simply say this: DO NOT order the Fantasie Smoothing Underwire Full Cup (if you somehow locate it on the website or anywhere else) - not unless you want to find yourself in possession of the ugliest piece of underwear that's ever been created. And you know I have a soft spot for the ugly, sometimes.

It's ugly in the most fulsome fashion - the edging is inelegant, the wires too long, the fit substantively oversized. Don't even try to wear this under a scooped t-shirt - it's too high cut in the cups. The straps are over an inch wide and additionally reinforced in a cheap-looking way - these are wider, perhaps than any others I've seen.

Now I know you may say that they wouldn't keep making it if there weren't a market and, Lord knows, I'm not the arbiter of what looks good on everybody's bust but seriously, it's horrid. I can think of 40 more lovely, equally supportive bras that are more accurately sized and that come in a huge variety of sizes. You don't need to do this to yourself.

I'll weigh in on the balconette as soon as I have more info. And, if I decide that this isn't gonna fly either, I'll have to advise you of a work around. It's my sworn duty as the online lingerie-fairy (this is how I self-identify, whatevs).

When I have promoted this bra, in the past, I am NOT referring to the full cup version I have thrice received as part of the order of doom.

As you were.

In Which I Remind You That You Can't Judge A Bra By Its Size

Fascinating occurrence here: I just got another parcel (that's 2 in one week, in case you're counting) from Figleaves UK. I've spoken about this online experience numerous times (just use the search and see). You know how up I am with the Figleaves experience.

This time I was shopping for basics - specifically beige bras to wear under all kinds of tops requiring, well, beige bras. I didn't want too lacy, too bumpy - observable.

The ones I purchased are the Triumph Doreen - see the links for my previous posts on this bra. I have strong feelings about it. And since I've owned the black version for about a year, I'll offer up my latest perspective: It's MEGA retro. I don't mean "modern nod to vintage". I mean, hands down, exactly like they designed it 60 plus years ago. From hardware to fit.

I will say it fits large. Go down a size at least. (Unfortunately no one seems to stock it in a back size smaller than a 34 - but it's not a stretch-er. A 34 on the second hook will serve you well if your back is a 32.) If your size is, say, a 32F, I'd suggest buying a 34D. Remember, for each back size you increase, you should decrease the cup size. In this case I'm advocating, depending on a few factors, going down one additional cup size.

I'll also say, it's much chicer, IMO, in "poudre" i.e. beige than in black. But, even given that I bought it one size down, next time I'll buy it an still another cup size smaller.

The fit is seriously high and pointy. Lord, I love that silhouette. I don't care if you tend towards "modern" or vintage - that's a great shape, IMO.

The second bra I purchased is the Panache Melody. It's a balconette that veers towards (but doesn't descend into) a demi. This one, I chose in my "regular size" and, while it fits, it is definitely smaller in the cup than the "smaller" Doreen bra. It gives a nice, smooth (despite a bit of lace), round shape. Very practical, but lovely. What I appreciate about this design is that it's high on the sides but delicate from the front. This improves the supportiveness without sacrificing the look. But ain't no way this thing compares to the Doreen in terms of support. The Doreen is a freakin' tank.

I bought both of these bras sight unseen. Yes, that's risky, but I did have some understanding of how the Doreen fits. Panache bras seem to be all over the map in terms of sizing so I went with the size that usually works on me, and it did. I was prepared to return them. I'm happy I won't have to. In truth, I've tried on so many bras that I have experience and intuition on my side. The only way you can gain those, is by trying again and again (though not nec. online, if complex returns don't appeal).

So, let's get to the interactive part of this post:

• Thoughts about the pointy silhouette? I don't think it's universally flattering - I mean, it takes all kinds, but it is one I love. What do you think? (Note: Gertie wrote a good post on this recently...)
• Have you worn either of these styles of bra? If yes, tell us more.
• Do you buy your bras online? Do you return as many as you keep?

Let's chat!

Don't Bother Putting on Your Red Light

A few days ago, for reasons that are unfathomable, I found myself at a TO bra boutique at which I no longer shop. (Trust me peeps, you don't want me on your lingerie Do Not Fly list. There's sufficient loss of income impact...)

Anyhow, while I did not buy - I couldn't stop my eyes from bugging out at this amazing confection (the colour of which is much more jewel tone in real life):

Empreinte Roxane

Empreinte is a high-end French brand for "full-busted women" - though French lingerie and "full-busted" are generally oxymoronic. In this instance, the term fits - as do the goods.

In case you're interested, it costs $216.00 at this boutique, which is in line with other retail establishments in TO. That's before you spend a hundred bucks on the undies. And I know you always get the matching set.

No doubt, even by my crazy-lingerie lady standards, that's rich.

It was particularly easy to walk on by because I knew I would surf until I found it at a reasonable price online. And - very quickly - I did, at my go-to, Figleaves. It's 78 pounds there - not cheap but much less expensive. I even found a promo, which cut the price down to 70 pounds.

Alas, if you read the small print (and I did, though I refused to believe it):

Due to licensing restrictions, we regret that we are unable to ship UK Empreinte ranges to countries outside the European Union.

It's true. Customer Service confirmed by email after I (seemingly successfully) purchased.

Alas, aligned with the general cursedness of online shopping in Canada (and everywhere other than Europe - this time), my affordable hopes were dashed.

I don't seem to be able to find this for less than $200 bucks before shipping and I am very pissed off. Why do the Europeans get to benefit from this? Don't they have enough already, like, being European and living in Europe and having good rail transport??

Needless to say, life is not fair.

Um, Wow...

Remember this bra? Well, Reader, I bought it and it's horrifyingly ugly. Until... you put on a top at which time it gives the most fantastic, pointy-delicious shape that it's impossible not to love it.

Not to mention the fact that it's the most comfortable thing I've ever worn in my life. Seriously, people, maybe foot injury is messing with my brain, because I'm not exactly the kind of girl who goes for comfort. (Note: If you are my real-world friend or family member, you are not allowed to lecture me about this. I know that we don't wear lingerie for comfort.)

When I first pulled it out of its box - yes, it comes in a box?!? - I thought, there is no fucking way. Let's just send this thing back to Figleaves. Or burn it and restore a little bit of beauty to the world. Prudence, and the fact that I'd been waiting for it for a month, first convinced me to crawl my way to the front door (10 minute expedition), then to pull it out of the box (hard without access to scissors which were too difficult to reach) and then to sit in the hallway awkwardly trying to put it on. Have you ever tried to put on a bra while sitting awkwardly on the floor. Not so easy, as it happens.

I think I'm going to keep it, if only as a novelty item. If cooler heads prevail when I am well, I can always chalk it up to a moment of sartorial insanity. And right now, as I bounce up and down while (occasionally) hopping on my good leg, it's a very good thing to own.

Some things you should know about it, in case you want to take the plunge:

• I used the word "plunge" with irony. This thing comes up to your sternum. Scoopy T, I don't think so.
• It's fascinatingly constructed out of mystery fabric but without wires and it's AWESOMELY supportive (as everyone says).
• It's insanely comfortable.
• It gives terrific 50's silhouette which I happen to love. But it's exaggerated.
• It deemphasizes breast size due to the way it distributes breast tissue. Note: It does not "minimize".
• It's utterly ugly: straps are an inch wide?!, the band is so thick it's practically a midline bra. If only it were 4 inches longer, on me it would be a longline! (Gotta be something good about the short waist.)
• It does have that retro thing going for it, as long as you wear it with attitude (she says having no attitude to bring to anything right now). With high waisted black lace undies, it would be a) very slimming under most clothing and b) rather Mad Men cute.
• It starts in a 34 back size. I'm a 32 and I'm wearing it on the middle hooks. Unlike others, I don't think the back fits super small. Instead, I will suggest it's doable if you have a 32 back and you want to give the 34 a try i.e. not too loose.
• I would go up a cup size. Everyone said that and I agree. Mind you, if I had access to try this one cup size down, I suspect it might also fit (it's in the nature of the construction, IMO, that it might). Depending on your breast shape, a couple of sizes might fit similarly.

So these are my thoughts. A woman with larger breasts is going to get a great silhouette, a supportive bra and comfort (not so bad). A woman with smaller breasts gets all of that, and a more retro-cute / less dowdy look. Note: I don't think any woman should be making this her go-to bra unless she's living the Dita von Teese lifestyle. You have to bring your mojo.

PS: You could totally run in this bra and equally easily do yoga because there are no wires but the support is optimal.

Wild Card

Really, what do you think of this bra:

Photo: Figleaves

I think I love it (not that it will look good on me, necessarily), but it sure as hell isn't modern. The Triumph Doreen, a timeless staple (war horse?), is constructed of more than 50 pieces.

Aren't you fascinated by the vertical pleat from the nipple line?

It's seriously Betty from Mad Men. Or maybe it's like something your grandmother wears??

I particularly love the long line version of this style but it doesn't seem to come in my size.

Does anyone own this? Do you think it's retro-fab? Be honest - do you loathe it? I wanna know.

Basket Case

Weird story: The other night, while wallowing in my pit of out-of-sortsness, I decided to check out Figleaves for the new arrivals. Secretly, I love to look through all the bras and undies and put them in my virtual basket - like whole batches of them - until my check out costs would be well over $400.00 (and that's with Figleaves discount pricing. I mean, in the stores here they would cost a grand). I never buy the lot. Sometimes I spend on one or two.

I must have spent 3 hours looking through at least a thousand bras. Oh, I found some good ones (which I'll save for "Yay or Nay" posts in the near future). Some of them were very dicey - they could be retro-great or just horrible (think Playtex). I will need your bloggy feedback prior to purchase.

Here's the thing: 3 hours into the faux-expenditure-racking, the contents of my freakin' basket just disappeared. Like poof. Hours of my reading dozens of reviews (secretly, I also love reading numerous reviews of bras I've never touched) and choosing colours and verifying sizes left in stock, I had a basket with 15 items and they all went up in smoke.

Can you imagine my response?? If it hadn't been 3 in the morning in the UK, I would have called them (on my own dime) to whine and complain. What a waste of my energy (such as it isn't).

But this morning, when I looked at my email, I had a strange message from Figleaves with the subject line "How can we help?" When I opened it, the contents said something to the effect of: We know you've been shopping and we see you have items in your basket. Is there any way we can work with you to expedite your money's departure from your bank account?

I've never received one of this sort of message before - and trust me, I've got them all. I clicked on my account (handily referred to within the body of the email) to see if, perhaps, my basket had been restored. Nope. Still empty.

So I've emailed them back to say (also paraphrased): Funny. I did have things in my basket but they're not there any longer and can you fix that cuz I wasted a crap load of time on virtual shopping and I do not intend to do that again anytime soon. Also, btw, how did you know to send me this email - today of all days? Has this same glitch just happened to, potentially, a zillion home shoppers and you're trying to figure out who's been affected while simultaneously doing some damage control?

On a side note: Do you know Figleaves sells a brand called Yes Master??! I spat my wine out when I saw it.

Happy Ending

I'm supa busy at work right now but I have to show you my latest Figleaves purchase. It finally arrived after a shipping debacle the likes of which one only sees during mercury retrograde (if one believes in that sort of thing and, after dozens of like irritants, who wouldn't really?)

Panache Sienna

In brief, this bra (and its matching undies) has been a long time coming. Like over a month. With lots of twists and turns and emails back and forth with Customer Service and admissions of error and declining to expedite replacement shipping etc. Let me say that, on balance, I still have the utmost respect for Figleaves, but this irksome scenario has sucked the joy out of the perfect online bra shopping experience. It was bound to happen eventually I suppose, but I really hope we go back to "yay, it fits!" status quo on next purchase.

The shortie undies are totally adorable - and fit beautifully - as does the balconette bra. Note: In the photo above, the bra looks more "full cup" than balconette, but it is deliciously cut to highlight one's decollete. I don't know if that bra is in a larger size or if it just fits that woman differently than my bra fits me. I'm just saying that this is one to run out and buy. They've already sold out once...

The satiny pink underlining, with delicate lace atop, is totally appealing to the vixen in me.

I'm so grateful to try on a bra that didn't take me 14 hours to make and then turned out to look crappy.

All's well that ends well, don't you agree?

It Was Bound to Happen

So I just got my Figleaves order and, egad, nothing fit!

Let me start by warning you away from Cleo by Panache. If you've got boobs larger than a B cup, you need actual support. Simply making larger cups (unsupportively), isn't going to cut it. Alas, as with all things in life, you get what you pay for. Stick with the core line, IMO. Note: The set is just lovely to look at, undies included. But I don't want my tits bouncing up and down when I walk. You know?

Utterly shocking: The other purchase, my Freya standard - the one I've replaced so that I can cut up the original for science - didn't fit either?! It's a size too big. I mean, what is going on here?? My breasts are certainly not shrinking.

So, tomorrow, everything goes back. But let me focus on the positives:

• There's a post office in my new work location!
  
• Just called the lovely, professional peeps at Figleaves and learned that I don't need to send things back in the original box (which will save me $$).
• And, best of all, the Figleaves international policy (which I didn't know till today) is that replacements are shipped free of charge. That means I can reorder the bra till I get the perfect size (which I sincerely hope is the next time!), and I will only have to pay to send it back, not to reship it. Pretty good deal, as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not a huge online shopper - and I never return - so I don't know if this is a standard policy. Note: Canadian shipping is amongst the most wretched in the world, so US-to-US or UK-to-UK returns may work differently, in general.

Update: It cost $20.00 to ship 3 items back to UK (because tracking is required which raises the price). That's steep, admittedly (and really cuts into the purchase savings). However, I just learned that I can replace something that I return for something else entirely - as part of my free reorder. So I purchased another set (something I've never tried, but by Panache - regular line). We'll see if that works.

I can tell that returning isn't optimal but I'm still ahead of the game ($-wise), as long as the next round of stuff fits.

Panache

You know how I had to go back to Figleaves, to purchase the replacement bra for the one I'm going to rip the stitches out of - for science? Well, it occurred to me that I should buy myself a little something extra for good measure - to defray the shipping charge.

I opted for the Cleo by Panache Frances. Panache is a British company that's been around for at least 20 years. Cleo is a recent subsidiary, near as I can tell. It seems to be trying to hit the Freya demographic. Just look at the similarities in marketing.

At any rate, I'm not sure if the prices are very good on Figleaves (that happens) or if the brand is a less pricey, sister brand. The set was a ridiculously affordable 34 pounds (40pounds if you factor in shipping without my other items).

Admittedly, I don't know how it's going to fit yet, but my other Panache bras are amongst the best fitting I have found.

Here's a photo:



I know I've got a plethora of pink underwear. I don't know why I always gravitate toward the crazy patterns and the pinks. At least this one has cool lace and lilac elements. It doesn't scream "autumn", but then summer's going to be here for a while more, I suspect.

What do you know about Cleo by Panache? It seems to be very under the radar, at least in Canada...

Post Holiday Holiday

Just got back from a delightful - and rather hideously acquisitive - vacation. First thing I did was check with my neighbour on the long-awaited Figleaves parcel and, thankfully, it arrived while I was gone. As did a batch of We Live Like This product, which I bought while away and which the Auberge St. Antoine offered to deliver free of charge.

Talk about sublime. Nothing like coming home to a bunch of gorgeous lingerie and fancy product. And it's already paid for (unlike about 8000 other things :-))!

Oh, and the pièce de résistance: Every freakin' item fits parfaitement!! Seriously, it's like I had it all custom made - particularly the body suit (which I'm going to wear ad nauseum as soon as the weather turns). How unlikely is that, I ask you?

Not that I'm complaining...

I have so much to tell you, but I'm practically comatose with post-vacation info overload and holiday-brain. I'm sure the snippets are going to come at you for a long while to come though...

So, to kick things off, has anyone here bought from Figleaves or from another online lingerie vendor? If yes, what? Thoughts or feelings?

Will to Power (Not to Be Confused with Willpower)

The other day I was talking to a new colleague, telling her about Figleaves (UK), and how much I enjoy the site.

Not only can I find my fave brands there (size tiny to size grand) - from Panache to Freya to Charnos to Made by Niki - but I can generally get them cheaper than from the shop down the street. Even considering shipping - like, international shipping, to Canada! The customer service is very good. The mail-out prompt. What's not to love?

You know I've been on a shopping ban. It went from 3 months to 6 months, with nary a glitch. Of course, as I have mentioned numerous times, it's not exactly hardcore. I have simply put a hiatus on shopping for clothing.

Part of my rationale has been to develop my sewing skills, something that's really been coming along. But it's summer time and I won't have much opportunity, given celebrations and work and vacation and readying M for camp.

Perhaps you know that gorgeous lingerie is my passion? Making it, buying it, wearing it. I'm not discriminating. Well, I'm very discriminating but not about how I come by it, as long as it's fab . I haven't yet got a bra pattern drafted that fits perfectly, though I'm close. I imagine I'll return to it in July or August. Till then, I need a hit.

Let's be blunt. If I didn't buy another bra or pair of undies for the next 2 years, I'd be swimming in options. I need for nothing. And yet I lust after it all.

Having chatted with my new co-worker, I frothed myself into a frenzy and needed to re-review the site. You know, just to assure myself it was still there. :-)

And then I found some things I couldn't resist.

Panache Thong Bodysuit (or Body, if you are British)

Charnos Cherub Shortie (above) and matching bra (below)

Notice a theme? I've bought so many fancy bras over the past couple of years that I'm out of basic (but sumptuous, natch) black.

Here's hoping this all arrives before my vacation begins. A girl needs to be outfitted.

Online Shopping: The Goods

When making the decision to give the online lingerie scene its due, I knew I wouldn't be shopping via America. I'm not being mean. Every time I do, it costs me 40% extra in hidden fees. And that pisses me off. You'd think, what with me being up the block metaphorically, it would be easy to import from the US. Not so, peeps.

Realistically, that leaves Britain. Seems strange but, as most of the lingerie I actually buy is made there (Freya, Fantasie, Panache) - not to mention the brands I wish I could wear (Agent Provacateur, anyone) - it struck me as a good plan.

The next thing I had to figure out was where to buy. This was pretty simple. Figleaves is well-known and their policies seemed very reasonable. Plus, the prices are awesome compared with those I pay retail in TO. No doubt, I questioned whether that would all go to hell in taxes and duty and shipping. It did not. I wasn't charged a penny more than they advised I would be. I did not have to go to the post office to pick up a package. It arrived at my door in 6 business days beautifully (but not wastefully) wrapped.

My third issue was size. Natch, every bra is its own scene, though lines done by any particular brand tend to be somewhat uniform. I decided to start slow: I reordered 3 pairs of fancy undies that I already own (ones that needed replacing), and one bra (a basic, seemless nude thing) I've bought many times. I got them all in the size previously purchased. (Note, being the OCD idiot I am, the first thing I do, after buying, is take every tag out of my lingerie. Which means I had to guess/remember what sizes I'd purchased those babies in, in the first place. May I suggest you keep your removed tags on hand for future reference?)

All of them arrived and fit well - well, the back size on the bra was a bit snug but I ordered a 30 (remembering that this back stretches fast) and I'm not at my absolute fat-free-est right now.

Not only that but I was offered a 10% discount for first purchase. Now, when I tried to apply it on the order, it didn't work, so I emailed customer service and they happily offered to refund it to me when the goods arrived (were I to keep them). Very politely, I might add. Moreover, they do little Twitter promotions and they are constantly having short sales (on good stuff - not simply the dregs) and the deals can be 30% off. On the first order - the trial run - I spent $118.00. It would have cost close to $300 at the store.

So, needless to say, once I got the first shipment, I instantly decided to order something new and fun. Behold:

Freya Tamsin Balconette and Brief

Mind you, this set is by Freya (one of my go-to brands though it's a style I haven't worn) and the pattern is zebra! How could I resist. And, it was 30% off. In TO, this set would have cost about $250.00 with tax. I got it for 34 pounds - and that includes shipping. That's turned out to be about $60.00. And no attitude. Even if I have to return it for another size (or send it back altogether if I don't like it), I'm only out the cost of shipping it back to the UK. That's a risk I'm willing to take.

Thoughts?

Truly Exciting Update: The set just arrived and it fits PERFECTLY. And I love it. You can't see it here but the background is dove grey, the zebra pattern is muted and there are tiny little pink embroidered roses dotted all over. So fun!