Wednesday, December 12, 2012

No, I'm Not Joking.

OK, just to give you the latest update on the cursed lingerie order from hell, I received the last outstanding bra - remember, the resend of the resend of the wrong size, today and it's the wrong fucking bra.

What I mean is (and I'm still trying to verify whether I ordered incorrectly or the warehouse shipped incorrectly), the reason the first shipment and the second one were so horrible, oversized (and hideous) is because they've been sending me the Smoothing Underwired Full Cup (this is all over the invoice and the tag), not the Smoothing Underwired Balconette.

Just to make matters more complicated, there's an online version of the Smoothing Underwired Bra that's neither billed as full cut nor balconette, which seems to be the one I ordered.

How many fucking versions of this bra do they sell??

I am quite confident that I've ordered the same bra time and again and I've heretofore received the balconette.

Now I'm trying to figure out, with the gracious assistance of Figleaves, whether the style has changed substantively (and what I'd get, were I once again to reorder - this time specifically the balconette - is not the same bra I've bought many times).

Let me say, I'd much rather be at the tail-end of the worst fucked-up order and shipping experience I've ever had (and hopefully will ever have again) than to discover the style is no longer the same. Cuz I rely on this bra, people.

For now, as we muddle through and sort things out, I'll simply say this: DO NOT order the Fantasie Smoothing Underwire Full Cup (if you somehow locate it on the website or anywhere else) - not unless you want to find yourself in possession of the ugliest piece of underwear that's ever been created. And you know I have a soft spot for the ugly, sometimes.

It's ugly in the most fulsome fashion - the edging is inelegant, the wires too long, the fit substantively oversized. Don't even try to wear this under a scooped t-shirt - it's too high cut in the cups. The straps are over an inch wide and additionally reinforced in a cheap-looking way - these are wider, perhaps than any others I've seen.

Now I know you may say that they wouldn't keep making it if there weren't a market and, Lord knows, I'm not the arbiter of what looks good on everybody's bust but seriously, it's horrid. I can think of 40 more lovely, equally supportive bras that are more accurately sized and that come in a huge variety of sizes. You don't need to do this to yourself.

I'll weigh in on the balconette as soon as I have more info. And, if I decide that this isn't gonna fly either, I'll have to advise you of a work around. It's my sworn duty as the online lingerie-fairy (this is how I self-identify, whatevs).

When I have promoted this bra, in the past, I am NOT referring to the full cup version I have thrice received as part of the order of doom.

As you were.

23 comments:

  1. "You don't need to do this to yourself" That line had me laughing out loud. I am sorry to hear it's been a nightmare of misunderstandings but you write so well about it I can't help but be amused.

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    1. Why thank you Sera. You can't imagine the amount of vitriol and swearing we had going around here when I tried that bra on tonight. :-)

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    2. I'd be doing the same swearing if it was me.

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  2. oh my goodness! You've had nothing but messed up orders from figleaves.

    I've ordered from figleaves to GTA at least 6 times so far, not once have *they* messed up my order. I have sent stuff back once or twice because I didn't like the design or I ordered wrong size. But no fault in service. Makes me wonder if they have hired any newbie trainees lately who have no idea what bras they are supposed to pack and ship?

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    1. OK, while Figleaves is not blameless, the company has responded with professionalism each step of the way. And I've ordered from them SO many times over the last 3 years and never have I had the slightest hitch. I really do think this order has some bad mojo going on :-)

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    2. You have a GREAT attitude and I'm sure they are working hard on it for you. I think that one thing people forget with service recovery issues is that the merchant deserves the chance to fix the problem. Consumers are so spoiled that they instantly fly into a rage at the slightest mistake and that's just not fair. Yesterday I got an order from Mood that is pretty messed up - they sold me fabric that has interfacing pre-fused onto it, which is not what I wanted and their web site says nothing about that in the fabric description. So I'm in the process of contacting them to get it fixed. I'm bummed that my order happens to be the one messed up but in the grander scheme of things these things happen and I just gotta deal with it. I always feel bad for merchants when people at the first sign of a problem go onto sites like PR and they try to destroy the merchant without even giving them a chance to fix the problem.

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    3. Thanks P! I know what it's like to have clients and to keep them happy so I always aim to fix a problem rather than to react. Mind you, sometimes it's hard not to rant! :-) Figleaves really is a very good vendor - as is Mood (as I understand it) - and we're so lucky to have the option to order from afar, to improve our choices and prices, that it's important not to forget it.

      Mind you, when I feel I'm getting bad, disrespectful service, then I do righteous indignation like no one else.

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  3. I have always loved the smoothing underwire balconette- I'm still slightly mystified at its marvelous ability to make me look as if I have a flatter stomach. But I'm sad to say that the last time I tried to purchase some at Nordstrom I was informed that the style was being discontinued. I got something else- similar, not as marvelous, with straps that are perfectly placed to disappear under tank tops, so they fill that need, but don't really replace the balconette for me. Anyway, all this was to say that perhaps part of the problem may be that the bra is in fact being discontinued and your supplier is replacing it with something else and that is why it is so difficult to get the correct thing sent? I had been sort of hoping that it was just Nordstrom that was discontinuing carrying the bra and not the manufacturer halting production altogether. Mine will be the first signature on the petition to save the balconette if that is the case.

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    1. Margaret: This is just what I was hoping NOT to hear! I'm following up the matter directly with Figleaves. I want them to tell me if, perhaps, it's still being made for them - if not for anyone else (ridiculous, I know). Furthermore, I have heard, from a while back, that Bravissimo stopped carrying it. I just assumed it was a licensing thing, not a style-discontinuation thing. I'll let you know what I hear. In the meanwhile, I'm desperately searching for a replacement. Man, those pickings are slim.

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  4. I was about to extol the virtues of my Favourite Bra of All Time, in case the worst has happened and your favoured style has indeed been discontinued: this Panache Porcelain seems to have a similar shape to the style you posted, but I just realised it does have padded cups and I'm not sure if that's what you're after...
    http://www.bravissimo.com/products/lingerie/t-shirt-bras/porcelain-bra/black/pn84bl/
    Good luck sorting out the order!!

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    1. Lauren: Very kind of you. Alas, you know my stance on padding. It's so unnecessary on me and I find padded, molded cups specifically don't actually adhere to my breasts for some reason. They always fail. But keep searching on my behalf. Please!

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    2. The only other one I have that might fit the bill is made from a stretchy fabric which is no good either. This is reminding me of the discontinuation of a favourite bra over 10 years ago now: it was because of that I ended up considering the moulded cups (still don't like them as a rule, but the Porcelain one fits me brilliantly). That still-much-missed wonder (from Triumph) was 2 or 3 layers of fabric, so had the same 'modesty' result as moulding, but was soft, with a lovely jacquard outer layer. Sigh.

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    3. I know the Triumph one - I used to wear it years ago, before I discovered other alternatives. It was the best of a bunch of department store bras I wore that didn't really fit (too small in cup, too large in back). But it was flattering despite its sub-optimal fit.

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  5. Porcelain may look alike, but it is shallow with wide wires and it shows under T-shits, because it has piping on the edge of the cups.

    Good luck getting the balconette!

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    1. Useful info. I don't think it's on my roster of potential replacements but it's always fascinating to hear how something works on one person and doesn't work on another. The piping would be a challenge under something fitted. I'm looking for totally smooth.

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    2. My Porcelains don't have any piping on the top edge of the cups, but they do have some piping where the wires are inserted. There is a "plunge" style in the Porcelain range that does seem to have piping along the top edge, and that one didn't fit me nearly so well. I have found the cups in the regular Porcelain deeper than many other balconette styles I've tried.

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    3. I can see I'm going to need to research this one further! :-)

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  6. Why when you search there do they show so many pictures of the exact same bra? It's confusing. They should show one representative of each style and offer the other color choices on the separate pages. No wonder you might pick the wrong one, otherwise, you have to pay close attention to the style number. They're making their work harder than they have to, I'm sure you're not the only one receiving the wrong bras. Good luck!

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    1. They didn't used to. I think, what's happening, is that they're trying to phase out the "original" smoothing balconette with this new, full cup offering (and a few other padded molded version in balconette / t shirt styles) - without making it overly obvious. One of the irrefutable challenges with the original balconette (the one I own and want more of) is that it does tend to pucker at the top of the cup on many women. It's a frequent refrain, even as purchasers say they love it nonetheless and that the problem is mitigated by adjusting the straps. I can corroborate this problem cuz it happens on me too! But I don't care. It's in the nature of the otherwise incredible fabric and, if one breast is less full on top (or both breasts are bottom heavy) then top of the cup doesn't tend to fill out entirely fully.

      I'm sure that Fantasie has tried to upgrade the product by introducing a number of different, though similar, offerings but the other balconettes all have structure to the cups i.e. light padding in the molded material. The genius of the original is that there's not an inch of padding OR stretch. The bra fits firmly and closely. I've never seen another bra made this way, and you know I know lingerie stock!

      Because everyone is SO on the padded molded bandwagon (vs this very unusual version of molded but not in anyway padded and still seamless) I think they feel their sales will be most benefitted by changing the flaw in the original product by changing the material used to make it (and a bit of the style while they're at it).

      I find it interesting that they'll continue to use the fabric in the full cup version. I noted, when I tried it, that the change in cup volume and shape removes the tendency for the pucker at the top of the cup. Too bad it's so cheap looking, oversized and hideous.

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  7. It might worth taking a look at the style numbers instead of the style name, which seems pretty confusing. I found "Fantasie Smoothing Underwire '4520' Balconette Bra" at Nordstrom (http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/fantasie-smoothing-underwire-4520-balconette-bra) which I know isn't great for you to ship to Canada but on the Figleaves site it seems like the style numbers of 4500 or 6500 for anything called "Fantasie Smoothing" so perhaps the ones that you've ordered in the past are the 4520 instead?

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  8. You are so right and I've even been known to do that under other circumstances. The thing is, I was so convinced that I was ordering the correct bra that I mentally skipped over that step.

    Your blog has some gorgeous-looking food photos, btw!

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  9. That is one smart tip!! I'll remember that too.. thanks for sharing it KWu and thanks for highlighting it Kristin!

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  10. Hey, gotta give the good tips! :-)

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