Just Add Water

I was vaguely dismayed to discover, on conversing with M lately - while en route to one of our fancy Friday night dinners, that her favourite foods are (in this order): hot dogs, pizza, tacos and guacamole. Oh, and somewhere around number 8 or 9 is a litany of baked goods with chocolate.

My point: not a rabbit stew or mushroom feuillete to be had.

When I broke it down, it occurred that we do go to this excellent Neapolitan place that serves a terrific thin crust, Scott does Dad-and-kid night at the El Salvadoran hole-in-the-wall that makes the best tacos in the city (IMO) and only a crazy child doesn't like hot dogs. But I still feel like I'm failing, somewhat, as a "sophisticated urban mom". (Feel free to vomit now.) I mean, the child hangs at some of the best restaurants in the city - what? we can't afford dinner and a babysitter. And she eats the shrimp and the foie gras (admittedly we call it goose butter) and the veal shank. What up with the pedestrian faves?

On Sunday she was watching TVO Kids food porn (Tastebuds), drooling over this slop mess of saucy pasta with veggies. It came to me that we should cook a meal together - a "kid" meal - so I suggested tacos. Who knew how hard it would be to find taco stuff in the grocery store, now under renovation? (Metro, I'm kind of hating you.) Who knew it would somehow cost $30.00?

I tell you, my husband won't let me shop for food.

But fret not. Even though I couldn't find any of the salient ingredients, I managed to come up with this awesome version of Mexican you can make in 10 minutes. Add a pinot noir and subtract the children and you've got yourself a reasonably balanced, yummy, relaxed kind of dinner on the fly.

• Yves Ground Round (Original flavour pls. Don't judge it cuz it's vegan. Acutal cooking not required.)
• Old El Paso Burrito seasoning mix (Yes, it's crap, but it tastes good and makes the vegan shit all goopy in the right way.)
• Romaine hearts (Get the organic stuff in the box and you don't have to wash it, though you probably should.)
• Sharp cheddar (Lord help you if it isn't orange.)
• Some kind of salsa (I don't actually like this stuff and even I have three opened jars in the fridge. Mind you, I still bought more.)
• Tortilla chips (We couldn't find shells so we bought organic, flax tortillas = Virtuous!)

The genius of this "quick meal" is that you don't really have to cook anything. You put the fake meat in a skillet (not too hot or it's all over cuz that stuff has no fat), warm it, add water and the mix, boil it down for 4 minutes on med high while you shred some cheese, lettuce and open a bag of chips.

Now's a good time to uncork the wine.

Then, a la stoner plate lite, you artfully arrange the tortillas around the edge of the plate, throw some saucy "meat" in the middle with some well-placed lettuce (go crazy and add lots), some cheddar sprinked on the side and some salsa wherever you like. If you're nuts, add some kalamata olives and sliced avocado.

I'm telling you, it's pretty and it's tasty! And, unless you eat the whole thing in one go, it isn't bad for the waistline.

M and her little friend ate like they hadn't seen food in weeks. Admittedly, they've both recently overcome the most hideous of stomach flues.

For dessert we had vanilla bean gelato with a homemade oatmeal chip cookie (for scooping, natch).

I was one popular mom. Albeit one out of 1977.