Monday, July 7, 2014

The Chic French Woman: A Primer*

What I'll say for Montpellier is that, on my first day here (a Saturday), a saw more chicness in less time than ever I have before. I suspect it's because the city-folk were visiting (the chic factor declined rapidly thereafter). It was a veritable parade of women wearing the craziest things, very well.

Please allow me to entertain you with a few observances:
  • If you're wondering about the jumpsuit's spiritual home, it's southern France, people. Lord, I have never seen more varieties of onesies in my life. Slender women wear them, children wear them, old women wear them, women who have no business wear them... They come strapless, plunging v, shorts-style, avec les pantalons ballons. It truly is amazing to see a 60 year old rocking a completely impractical, military-meets-silk one-piece. With absurd heels. On cobblestones. I've been skeptical of the excess of marketing of the jumpsuit for a while now, wondering how it could possibly have any impact in the real world. Well, here, the trend is making money - namely with the elegant set.
  • Delightfully, IMO, if you are chic and French, you're allowed to have a menopausal gut. It will in no meaningful way undercut your cache. It's simply ill-advised to have breasts of any volume or to be of substantial frame. Or to be tall, come to think of it. I have tried on everything on sale in this city (except for jumpsuits) and not one fucking thing fits. I'm not joking. And it's not my, ahem, less than flat stomach that's causing the problem. The clothing is cut for straight frames. Furthermore, it's cut with very little profile anywhere. Which is why having breast or hip circumference is not advisable. 
  • Side note: I'm remarkably nonplussed by my French shopping fails, though my younger self would have been horrified. Actually, my 3 years younger self, when last in France (Paris) could barely find anything to fit - nor could my teenaged self, come to think of it - and they were pretty traumatized. Now I look at all of the clothing and realize I could make much of it, pretty easily (these clothes are architectural sacs, not tailored!) in proportions to fit my body well. It seems crazy to pay 100 euros for a sleeveless, a-line tank. Moreover, these women do not look like me. Not in any way. I have seen myself surreptitiously eyed, perhaps even occasionally critically, by women in shops, by women on the street. Don't misunderstand - I'm not suggesting that I've encountered rudeness (though an exasperated woman in a ring shop within which I could not find ONE RING to fit my man-like fingers, at one point muttered "Mon Dieu!". And, really, at that point I shared her pain.). It's not that I'm all freakish and feeling judged. I'm just an outlier and it's obvious. To wit: No one here wears leopard-skin bodysuits with jeans that sit at the natural waist, even in the cool, after a day of rain. And, if they did, they'd probably have proportionately little in the way of hips or boobs. I wonder if, to some, I'm seen as too observable. No doubt, my accent and mediocre French don't help. But really, in the scheme of things, I'm fairly refined by many standards. I don't think I'm standing out because of my behaviour.
  • A propos of the bullet above, absolutely every chic woman wears either linen, cotton with applique/chambray etc. or silk. And 90 per cent of the garments are shapeless, especially in the midsection. A good number of them are quite colourful, or monochrome (namely white) and they've got asymmetrical lines. The cinched drop-waist (belted or elastic is everywhere. What makes you edgy in much of North America, makes you feminine here.
  • Nonchalance is de rigeur. There's nothing fussy about the chic French woman. She owns her clothing. Nothing wears her.
  • She's not afraid to show off her breasts, though small breasts do tend to be less attention-grabbing (on display) than voluptuous ones. On this topic, I'm willing to go on a limb here in suggesting that the mainstream of the smallest breasts in the western world is in France. That's not because of what I've seen, specifically, but because of what I know of the lingerie industry. The French have cornered the market on the 30-34 B-D shallow, seamed half-cups - and man, do they make them beautifully. But God help you if you are a woman out of that size and shape range, looking for a gorgeous bra. Your options are frumpy. This is like the anti-England.
  • They're not afraid to be tanned, wrinkled or to smoke. Age is not the equalizer, fat is.
  • They have "great legs", by which I mean slender to the knee, at least, and quite muscular - and they wear very feminine footwear (of high quality).
Now of course, I'm speaking of the definition (as I see it) of the chic French woman. There are many French women who are not chic. They are frumpy, fat, shapeless, untoned and pale. They're just like un-chic women everywhere, going about their meaningful lives, thinking about things other than chicness. And that's fantastic, needless to say. But, if you're going to hang out in a beach town in the south of France, and you'd like to ensure your place on the scene, do take my observations for what they're worth. I'd hate for you to wear a tight, leopard print knit.
File Under: Wear in Canada - And that top is my first Nettie, btw.
* Yeah, I'm the arbiter of this concept for the purposes of this post, but go with it (or feel free to refute!)...

19 comments:

  1. So fun to hear your descriptions! I definitely feel like by body type and facial features fit in when I'm in England - those are definitely my genetic people! In Japan I felt like I had linebacker shoulders, and forever was noticing just how huge my wrists are compared to Japanese women! I felt equally out of place in Holland, land of extremely tall people... oddly, I don't remember feeling like my body type was out of place in the other places I've lived or travelled! India, Venezuela, Fiji... somehow I fit in better there. (Now that I think of it, Fiji and Venezuela were definitely full of stocky short women!)
    Keep the posts coming!
    :) G

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    1. THanks G! It's funny how one can feel at home in one place and totally unnatural in another. I feel totally in my element (body-wise) in Miami of all places.

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  2. I hear you! I just run with the lack of chic/breasts/shocking accent when I'm in France. It's the only way! Glad you're feeling better though...and the Nettie looks great!

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    1. Ha! It doesn't raise my self-esteem, that's for sure. But now that I'm in Barcelona, I'm feeling very good about everything!

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  3. Funny, judging from old family photos I thought French women were more busty! I wonder if shopping in Italy would be easier for you?

    Several people have told me I would blend right in if I was in Poland, the Czech Republic, or the eastern part of Germany. Meanwhile when my brother offered to get me some silk clothes in China I ended up taking a Large. I think now I would be an XL. He said it was rare for a woman to be over 5'3".

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    1. Maybe they were at one time - but not these days! The Italians, believe it or not, are just about as small-busted. I know that's not the stereotype but the lingerie market bears it out. I think I would blend right in in eastern Europe too!

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  4. I remember feeling gargantuan in France, not that I cared, and I was thinner then than I am now. I can't escape my German & Scots ancestry however.

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    1. Ha! I can totally understand that because they are little. I mean, height-wise, I too am little but somehow they seemed smaller than me!

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  5. Since I'm a 32B, France was lingerie paradise for me - less so in smaller towns, but in Paris, there was a gorgeous lingerie shop on almost every corner. I would never buy a orange and hot pink bra and matching panties in Canada (if I could even find such a thing in my size). However, in France, pourquoi pas? Linen, cotton and silk are lovely, but they don't travel well (unless you're toting an iron around in your luggage). Own the Nettie bodysuit, ma chere. Enjoy Barcelona - runs a close second to Paris as my favourite European city.

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    1. Oh, I'm sure it was! And those shops in Paris are unbelievable. They torture me because I cannot fit into a thing. IMO, you should totally buy orange and hot pink in Canada! I love the crazy colours, especially when the weather gets horrible.

      Just settling into Barcelona and, gotta say, I think it is my fave Euro city - with London and Amsterdam for the tie.

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  6. Entertaining as always! Thank you...

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  7. Sounds like I need to go to France. If only for the bra shopping.

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    1. Oh, you need to go for all the reasons! But bra shopping would be a good one. :-)

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  8. if you popped over to london, you'd fit right in in your nettie and highwaisted jeans! I lived in france for a year as a student as my experience was that although french women can be very chic, they are chic in a very safe way - they pretty much all wear the same clothes, not matter what their age/ job./ lifestyle/ lifestage. as students, we tended towards more grungy clothes (it was the 90s and we were indie kids!) and stood out a mile.

    and i hear you re the size and shape of their clothes. i think i bought one tshirt the whole time i was there (and i think it was an XXL - i was a UK size 12 at the time!).

    in london no one would look twice at you whatever you wore and everyone does their own thing. looking at street style articles you can really see this.

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    1. You know, I do feel very at home in London (where I've spent some time, though not recently). I love how everyone does her own thing. You're so right when you say that the style there is unique from person-to-person! And I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't find a T shirt in France :-)

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  9. I really loved this analysis, even the parts that were a little bittersweet (re: not fitting in)! I'd love to read a similar/comparative analysis of Barcelona style. I was there for a few days several years ago and found the look there quite subtle and difficult to pin down, though distinctive; I'd love to read your take!

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  10. OK, I'll see if I can decode by my own standards. I hear you, though, it's quite different. So far, I can't put my finger on it.

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  11. So what you are saying is, from the waist down I'm following my father's side of the heritage tree? ;-) This butt though....that's all a genetic throwback from my mother's side, and probably can't be covered by anything from France. I never really thought about my body having an "origin" before, but it's an interesting concept.

    It's interesting that the "shelf" is accepted there. I suppose though, it's pretty much inevitable, especially after children, so one might as well embrace it. Not that anywhere else seems to, but I think so many women would naturally look better if they felt better about themselves. That's kind of always what I thought was the "secret" to the French woman, they feel good about themselves, and so that makes them look better to everyone else. And having a culture that helps support that notion would help perpetuate it. Know what I mean?

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