Tuesday, June 17, 2008

It's all About the Attitude (I Hope...)

I went out at lunch to find my daughter some waterproof sandals, as we will be going on a little up-north family resort vacay in 10 days and I'm trying to tie up all the loose ends. How this morphed into "K buys a tiny bikini" is beyond me - cuz if you know me, you know I've never worn a bikini in all my 38 years. Unless you count a tankini - the respectable mom version - which (you probably know) is like a one piece that's easily disassembled when you have to pee. And once you have a baby that may be something you need to take into consideration :-)

Admittedly, the new suit is a feat of infrastructure. Somehow, it manages to be almost non-existent and still supportive of the boobs. And it's orange. Like, burnt orange. (Did I mention it reveals, like, my entire stomach? Did I mention I'm 38 and I have a kid? Did I mention I'm experimenting with anti-cellulite goo?) The top is underwire (naturally) but not so that you'd notice. Nor is it one of those underwire tops that has a band underneath it obscuring the underwire. This is counterintuitive, I realize. The triangle fabric is ample (naturally). And the bottoms are somewhat like the ones Halle Berry wore in that Bond film (the homage to Ursula Andress) (see above). Really, the whole thing is a rip off of the swimsuit Ms. Berry wore.

Somehow, I think it looks great on me. Of course, I could be deranged. But I'm willing to take the chance as my primary audience will be children under the age of 10 and their harried, mid-forties parents who have averaged 3 kids each. I figure, between their fatigue and my relative youth, I'm not likely to be the worst looking one of the bunch. I am slightly concerned about the mass of my pallor refracting northern sunlight into laser beams that seek out small, fast moving objects. Cuz I don't need that karma, you know?

12 comments:

  1. I think it's easier to find a decent-looking bikini than a decent one-piece. Enjoy!

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  2. You'll look hot, as always! I bet all the other parents will be jealous. It's nice to try it in such a safe environment.

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  3. Okay, where is the picture? Are you waiting for a tan? I can't stand the suspense.

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  4. OK! I take one day off to drag my corns to the movies (it was Cheap Tuesday) and this is what come back to...anti-cellulite creams and bikinis and NO pictures of either!!!! I prefer a modesty apron on my bikini but then I'm old fashioned like that!

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  5. Wendy - I think they're both a bitch to find. So when I see something that doesn't make me look horrendous, I pounce!

    Enc: Please continue to comment as frequently as you would like! You are my fave cheerleader :-)

    Sister and IM: I'm bold but not insane! Honestly, once you've seen Halle, it's impossible.

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  6. Good for you! I bet it'll look great at the beach. Where in TO do you go?

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  7. Great suit!
    I think a bikini can be more flattering than a one-piece.

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  8. I bought my first (non tankini) bikini EVER recently. . . it's taken this long but I'm rather proud. So high five us (or we could belly bump if ya like, you've seen the sunsuit pic).

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  9. Go for it! I wish I had a good reason to buy a new bikini!

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  10. Miss C: We go up to Haliburton (about 3 hours away). It's near Muskoka.

    IHeart: Everyone keeps telling me this but, trust me, the one true deal breaker with bikinis is large boobs. You have to be so careful with the fit...

    E: Bare your tum on the count of 3! Isn't it liberating to do the whole exhibitionist thing??

    Miss White: 1. Buy bikini 2. Book vacation in Greece. See, simple.

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  11. lol, I need to be a little less self-conscious I realized. I have a friend who has had 2 kids and she goes to the pool in a 2 piece and I can't even work up the courage to wear a bikini bottom...I go for the shorts and the skirt bottoms instead because I'm afraid of a few stretch marks...can you say issues? ahaha

    I'd love to see pictures of your swimsuit, sounds cute!

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  12. PG: THanks for your comment. I just checked out your blog which proves that you are gorgeous and should definitely be wearing bikinis all the time! K

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