Waisted

So I've mentioned I'm not tall and you know I have breasts, but it may be news to you - so diligently do I try to hide it - that I don't have the longest torso in the world. This is, perhaps, the one way in the world I can relate to Jessica Simpson. Well that, and our mutual penchant for the high-waisted look that all the little, busty, short-waisted women should apparently avoid. And yet I can't. I love the look. And I firmly believe that if you love something enough, and search painstakingly through every iteration of every brand, you will eventually find a way to pull it off. (Note to Reader: Jessica didn't get that memo.)

I can't speak to the lanky amazonians who wear this trend so naturally - ever noticed how 9 out of 10 of these ladies are wearing the low-rise everything? I can only make suggestions about how to do it if it's out of your comfort zone.

• For starters, don't go high-street. It's key to work with upscale fabrics draped by actual designers. Having said that, I wouldn't recommend you spend your life's fortune on an experiment.

• Do it in dark shades, natch, as they are the most forgiving.

• Don't buy an extreme proportion. If you are 5'3" and the pants are cut for a model, chances are lopping off the bottoms isn't going to fix the problem. Maybe your version of high-in-the-waist is your tall friend's "regular".

• Start with tuxedo pants or tailored denim. I've been looking for the perfect pair of trouser-cut high-waisted jeans for 6 months now. This look is likely to be so past over by the time I actually find something that works in my price-range, absolutely everything will be on sale!

• When badly rendered, this fashion is apt to swallow up the svelte parts of you and emphasize the voluptuous ones. When well-done, it can make you look like Katherine Hepburn.

Here's the cut I have my eye on (yes that model is 6 feet tall with a torso like a willow branch):

And here's my latest effort - Robert Rodriguez tuxedo pants from my best-kept secret. These were originally $325.00. I got them for $79.00!: