Saturday, January 22, 2011

This Post is All Over the Map

A couple of updates before I consign myself to sewing:

The Foot:

Thank you all so much for emailing and commenting to find out how I've been feeling. Until about a week ago, while mobile, I had pain much of the time. Extremely happily, in the past week, that pattern has been shifting and the pain is greatly reduced.

I have regained most of my flexibility, though to use it all, I do hit patches of soreness even now. My strength is almost back to normal. I can walk long distances. Note: I generally don't walk more than one way to work i.e. no more than an hour a day. I find that a) the weather is terrible and it takes more consciousness to walk safely - foot injury or no and b) too much walking overtaxes the tendon where it meets my shin.

Balance is the weak point, it would appear. I'm fine when I stand on both feet, but when I do yoga to maintain/ increase balance on the left side, it's quite apparent that the left is not on par with the right side. Mind you, my left has always been weaker for balance than the right. It's just more evident these days.

What's been surprisingly hurty is my shin and lower leg in general. The tone there was very compromised in the 3 weeks I couldn't move. It's also the place where the injured foot ligaments and tendon attach to. That's the area that's finally calming down. According to my physiotherapist, whom I've now stopped seeing, at a certain point of injury healing, one hurts whether one moves or doesn't. In fact, the movement - which helps to redevelop strength and to create new muscle pathways - is necessary to finalize the healing. The key is knowing how far to go and how fast. Everyone is different. Even weekly, I noticed my healing was all over the map.

I'm not going to wear fun shoes any time soon. But, over all, I'd say I'm doing really well.

The Dress Form:

In a pique of frustration, I called the Fabulous Fit people yesterday to inquire about solutions to my foam fitting challenges. I am pleased to tell you that the woman whom I've been speaking with since the get-go (who intriguingly still didn't realize that my dress form had been shipped), offered excellent client service on the matter of fitting. She suggested I try a few things and then mentioned sending me a couple of extra breast foams (the one's I have are not up to the task, peeps). Apparently, she has cut up the foams if necessary, in the past, but she doesn't recommend that course of action so soon. Bizarrely, when I tried to put a bra on the form, the cups were swimmy but I couldn't do up the back. After hours of work and measuring, I was certain I'd recreated the correct underbust measurement, but it was somehow 2. 5 inches too big on the form. Let's just say it's not there yet. There's another option - not one I'm interested in pursuing at this point, which is a body wrap bustier. I don't think it's necessary, but at least it's there as a back up.

The Low Carb Experiment:

On the upside, I can't say I'm hungry. On the down side, I want to kill myself from boredom. How much meat and cheese can a person eat??? I've been extremely careful - almost non-consumptive - of sugar in its every form (you know, that thing I'd smack an old lady for, if she came between me and it). I've heard so many claims that this will diminish the urge to eat it after a couple of weeks. I regret to inform you, as I move into week 3, I want it as much as and as viscerally as I ever did. I now dream of cake. That other people eat.

Hilariously, when I do decide to eat a little treat - very rarely - I feel physically awful right afterwards. So I want it and it makes me sick. And I'm bored.

Have I ever mentioned that, in my book, boredom is almost the worst thing in the world.

I'm not going to go too far into this right now - I have a post brewing on the topic in detail - but I do feel there's something weirdly unbalanced about this. I am, while eating all the calories I generally do - though it's hard to get there some days, largely denying myself a whole food group. Of course, I eat the vegetables and the wine and the occasional bowl of berries. But seriously, I find it hard to vilify brown rice (a personal fave) and beans (something the old me ate much more frequently than I realized) and whole grain bread (and I don't even like bread).

Again, an experiment is just that. I'm intrigued by it more than anything else. BTW, note that I haven't mentioned any reduction in waist measurement as yet. (To determine this, I'm using, of course, a tape measure - my good friend, see above.) I'm not sure it's notable so far. I'm certainly not gaining any stomach mass, but it hasn't tipped into a visibly slimmer abdomen or looser waist fit in clothing. Remember, I'm not dieting and this isn't about weight loss per se. It's about a slenderer, more youthful, abdominal measurement.

So that's all I can say about me today.

Any thoughts or feelings about any of these items?


  1. Glad your ankle seems to be on the mend, but definitely take it easy. It's so tempting to push, but the last thing you want it so re-injure it.

    On the low-carbing, it can get a bit repetitive, but I try to vary my veggies, add interesting things to salads, and try new dressings. I don't *crave* sugar, but still sometimes want it, though it's less of a struggle to forego. (I think for me, it's almost more habit. We had a birthday cake at the office yesterday, and first reaction in my Lizard Brain is "YUM! Frosting!" so in that respect I "wanted" it, but had no trouble ultimately declining a piece.) What I really love about this is that I just don't *think* about food.

  2. It is good to hear that your ankle is doing well, though it must be frustrating to have the continuing soreness and not to be able to wear fun shoes.

    As for the dress form I stand in awe of your awesomeness.

    I've had success in the past losing weight on the low carb diet, but I also felt bored and missed carbs.

    We're trying vegan now, but it's too soon to report success. I lost some weight the 3 weeks we were on it before our trip, then I totally went off of it during the trip, then since we've been back there have been multiple opportunities for me to cheat in social situations or while we were away for a weekend trip. I need a stretch of being home with no entertaining to get some traction.

    The vegan diet is definitely not boring.

  3. I'm trying to limit carbs too, for a couple of months--may have to wear a freaking corset on stage (eeek!).

    Am continually impressed with your determination to get this new passion of yours exactly "right" and am living vicariously through your dress form journey.

  4. So glad to hear your foot's on the mend. I've been getting some complaints from the Achilles tendon that likes to squawk occasionally -- we're so very dependent on keeping everything in balance. I find it hard to slow down and listen to the body, but I know it's important to do. . .
    I'm curious to know, vis-à-vis the diet, whether the rest of the family's on-board. Paul does more of the cooking 'round here than I do, and he's really being supportive right now of my need to have more veggies and whole grains, less fats and carbs, but he'd never consent to turning away from whole food groups for extended periods of time. (well, never say never, but it's highly unlikely). Do you have sit and watch the others consume these goodies while you pass them by?

  5. I'm a carb addict and proud :-)

  6. I can say I've done well avoiding carbs, and most of the time I don't miss most of them, but there are particular faves that I can't get out of my head, and it doesn't matter how long I don't eat them, I will always want them. Sometimes it is really easy for me to pass something up, but I despise extremism in almost any form, and would say that the point is to indulge in something you want to indulge in, but not just eat indiscriminately. But you don't sound very indiscriminate.

    Other than that, I think you have to just eat what works for you; so experiment, find what works, make a conscious decision and accept whatever comes or doesn't come of it.

    Oh, and I'm back on carbs, despite saying I was off, because they are my first line defense when faced with familial stress. And I am heavier and not happier, but I am convinced this is as much the stress as anything else. Certain kinds of stress I handle very well, stress at home of the kind I have now, kills me in more ways than one.

  7. Deja: I appreciate what you're saying. It is a lot easier in some ways. I mean, for lunch I didn't have much time so I just ate an avocado and called it a meal. (I know that's not a fab way to do any diet, but sometimes you just need fast food no matter how you're eating.)

    Susan: Good to hear that vegan is not boring. To be honest, it's the lifestyle eating plan I fear the most! :-)

    Miss C: I hope to do you proud with the dress form. And, were I to wear a corset on stage, I'd be eating hamster food if that's what it took!

    F: You ask an interesting question about family complicity. I wouldn't say my kid's on board in any way. She loves the carbs as much as ever and I have to stop her from eating them at the expense of everything else - namely protein which she needs to be healthy! My husband has always eaten a lot of meat and, since he cooks most of it, that's no problem. He likes to round it out with veggies and stuffing or rice or oven fries - and so he makes them for M and himself. I eat a salad and it's not so bad.

    I don't know how to explain my ennui. It's not there in any particular moment. It just hovers in the background.

    Wendy: Why doesn't this surprise me??

    M: I'm not indiscriminate but I do LOVE dairy - namely dairy with sugar (ice cream, custard, mousse, pudding etc.) I never knew it was such a carb minefield.

    I'm about to start experimenting - i.e. eating chili which has beans (high in carbs?!) - maybe with a little bit of rice (egad!) I just want some different mouth-feel.

    And I think that when we're stressed, carbs are nature's SSRI! I had a bad day last week and all I wanted was some mega buttered toast and a hot chocolate.

    You'll come to terms with the new life you're leading and then you'll be able to resume your former eating path. I think it's ok to take solace in food when we need it. Food is a beautiful thing and it can comfort us.

    I don't care what people say about emotional eating. We're human. We do everything for emotional reasons.