And by unbelievable, I mean embarassing.
So, there's this cafe I go to in the mornings to get my cappuccino. I won't lie, I am ever so slightly motivated not only by the excellent coffee made by the lovely woman with the best hair ever, but by the gorgeous and dapper owner of the place, Francis.
Francis - whose name I didn't actually know until this morning - is always so perfectly styled. So individual. So fodder for Scott Schuman. And his smile is pure excellence. It brings out more than just a few, ahem, unclean thoughts.
Whatever. I'm married, not dead.
Today, for the first time, I get up the nerve to say to him - blather-like - Um, so sorry to bother you at work but, um, my name is Kristin and I write this fashion blog and I think you always look so fabulous. I mean, you are fabulous. I mean your clothes are fabulous and you wear them so well and your smile - I love your smile with that cap you're wearing. Um, can I take your picture for my blog.
Actually, I wasn't this articulate, but you get the vibe.
The only problem is that I forgot my camera phone this morning. I never forget the phone. Ever. Not because of the phone feature but because of the camera. And I fucking forgot it.
Digging through your bag like a nut while trying to look cool after inarticulately complimenting a sexy guy and asking to take his picture is, well, like some subplot on 30 Rock.
Perhaps the only thing that could have made it more uncomfortable was me following it up with: "Honestly, I'm so not trying to pick you up. See, I'm married!" Then holding up my left hand and realizing I'd also forgot my wedding ring...
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OH, SISTER. My married, awkward heart goes out to you. I've so been there.
ReplyDeleteOy vey--hello Seinfeld episode. Is your name Kristin *Elaine*? K.Laine. But I'm sure he was darling about it and you'll probably get a gratis capp. tomorrow, when you bring your camera . . . You are going back, right?
ReplyDeleteI echo Miss C's question -- or I'll echo it when I stop laughing . . .
ReplyDeleteSo it's come to this then. You're trying to pick up guys in coffeehouses. Tsk tsk tsk.
ReplyDeleteI love you and I feel for you. Oh, sweets, that had to be a moment of pain. Will you try again when you have your camera and your wedding ring?
ReplyDeleteSorry, having a difficult time typing and laughing at the same time... mostly because I can totally relate - this sounds like something that would happen to me!!!
ReplyDeleteMight I suggest "priming the pump" a bit, with say a shot of espresso, prior to going out to get coffee???
That happens to me alllll the time.
ReplyDelete=
Is it wrong that I'm all, "bwahahaha! snort!"? Totally feeling your pain, it's exactly what I would do.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, I bought a pencil skirt, but I will still need your help to know what to wear on my legs. Shoes are lace up oxfordy types.
Wait, you take your wedding ring off? We wear ours on our right hands, like they do in Europe, because we're obnoxious and affected that way... ;)
ReplyDeleteI Never write LOL, because well, I hate it.But sister, I PMLS at this one.
ReplyDelete(pissed myself laughing so)
you are adorable.
All that cool cashmere enviable sophistication and
You fucked it up! That makes it much easier for an awkward mess like me to love you.
xx
It does sound very Seinfeldian!
ReplyDeleteJust go back and try again, with your ring ON, and your camera IN your bag.
;)
Haha! :)
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha! I'm sure he was charmed and flattered. Can't wait to see the pic...
ReplyDeleteoh dear. I've been telling you to make a blog card right? How many times? Don't know.
ReplyDeleteYep, try again. All decked out. Write out a line and even practice. :)
That was so funny, K-line.
You are such a dearheart! I love this story, and I think you probably made a new friend today :)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see his pic.
xoxox,
CC
P.S. I do stuff of that nature ALL the time!
Oh my dear K*, I feel for you that you've been embarassed (but let's face it, now that it has passed, it's funny to read.)
ReplyDeleteBut didn't you get another ocasion to take him the picture????
So this shall pass.
And I'll look forward to see his picture...
Hope you're having a fab weekend.
xoxo
Sal: It was a bad moment there...
ReplyDeleteMiss C: I will go back. I'm a back on the horse kinda girl. But I'm going to look fabulous when I do :-)
Mater: Thank you for being there :-)
Well, Monkey, what do you expect. It's not like you're around! :-)
Bel: I will try again. Just not till next week.
Ebinbaby: I know. I should so have been pre-caffeinated!!
D.: Nice to know I'm not alone :-)
Tanya: Can't wait to see the skirt. I'm sure we'll come up with the perfect leg covering! And aren't you chichi Euro?! I only wear my ring when I'm in the mood, strangely...
Hammie: If you had been there it would have blown my cool cover forever!! Honestly, it was a cringing moment...
E: I will. Promise.
Andrea and Janet: It's funny cuz it wasn't you! :-) And I will get the shot.
Songy: I was sooooo thinking of you and the card and wondering why the hell I haven't got my act together yet. It's on the mega list of unfinished things to do!
CC: I feel better knowing you might have had this kind of experience!
Seeker: I will get his photo. Just need to get over myself! You have a terrific weekend too...
oh this is too funny - too funny because it's too familiar. i'm the person who walks into glass doors, heads toward mirrors thinking they are a passage to another room, etc.
ReplyDeletefeeling the pain, but glad you shared it!
Bwah!
ReplyDeleteBring on the slow death..that's how I felt after reading this! I don't know what else to say...I'm lost for words (and as you know that NEVER happens), I think I would have flashed a nip!
ReplyDeleteeditor: I was just reminiscing over walking into a telephone pole, the other day. Oh, it was years ago but I remember like it was yesterday :-)
ReplyDeleteWendy: That about sums it up.
Mattie: I was at a loss for words. Why didn't I think of just whipping off my shirt?! That would have totally taken the edge off :-)
awww! that really is a bit of an awkward moment. but at least you can look back on it & laugh :]
ReplyDeletei do admire you for your courage to even ask in the first place! most would have just gotten cold feet & ended up continuing a daily ritual of just ordering coffee, pining over the man's outfit, & thinking of ways to ask for a photo the next day.
xoxo,
La C.
Go back in and start again! I need to see this guy now!!
ReplyDeletehaha one of the best real life stories heard ever!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I remember something about an email you wanted to send to me a long while ago. Just curious what it had been about?
OMG that is pretty embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteI'm always embarrassed, it's a constant state of mind for me since I always do something stupid. Hopefully you'll get a chance to take his picture next time.
xx
LaC: Thanks for your generous take on a rather traumatizing experience :-)
ReplyDeleteMDS: Promise, it's in the cards...
Kitten: I so got sidetracked with that email. Sorry! It wasn't so important because I can't remember exactly what it was about right now. Let me think... And glad you enjoyed the post!
Jen: I guess this is just the way the cookie crumbled (this time). Next time it'll be smooth!