Size Doesn't Matter

Recently, the gorgeous and erudite Sal and Hammie challenged me to help them find lingerie to accentuate their diminutive decollete. Actually Sal said: I challenge thee: Find me a fantastic, sexilicious bra with push-up and padded powers. My girls are ridiculous on their own, and there's no way I'm coming over to the fancy panty side until you prove to me that there is lacy lingerie for the lacking of boob.

Then Hammie followed with: I am about 75% more boobagely challenged than Sal. I could leave my water bra upstairs and come down and eat ice cream without Mr Hammie noticing I've gone.

Of course, what's a lingerie-pushing fashion blogger to do under these circumstances? How could I fail to take up this challenge?

For starters, I have to concede that I'm not a small-breasted woman. Y'all know that. And while I appreciate my busty shape, it's not always a champagne picnic being a girl with rather observable breasts. For one thing, it precludes me from wearing all kinds of super sexy tops and swimsuits and provactive costumes from Victoria's Secret. Whereas, my smaller sisters are all fire engine hot in demure ruffles and plunging V necks, I'm like something out of Hustler, August 1992.

And, really, there are so many gorgeous high-end lingerie lines (La Perla, Agent Provacateur, Stella McCartney) and still dozens more moderately priced brands (Elle McPherson, Huit, Princesse Tam Tam) that cater to women with small to moderate-sized breasts (so many more than cater to large breasts which really need rigging to present optimally). I'm frankly jealous of the options.

I mean, at her worst, the small breasted woman looks flat, maybe wan. Badly turned out, the large breasted woman looks, well, fat - nay, potentially pendulous. So let's put things in perspective: The grass really is always greener.

Having got this off my chest, I recognize that 99% of all women of all breast sizes are concerned to make them higher and rounder and fuller or more saucily shaped. We all want luscious tits. Yes? In fact, just this morning I was at a terrific brunch wherein two entirely gorgeous women of two entirely different breast sizes and shapes (but on the small to medium size) both advised they were thinking of having lifts. To each her own, of course. But if a good bra can do the trick, I say it's a very promising start.

Let me also mention that Sal is the first one to give us terrific tips on how to maximize confidence based on minimizing the focus on areas we'd prefer to de- (or re)-emphasize. Tips I appreciate tremendously! And in this vein, I really do believe that cleavage is one of the easiest body parts to play up.

Note I didn't say "big up". Because I actually don't think "bigging up" is the best exercise in dressing small breasts. All breasts are gorgeous. Sure, some are more Playboy than others, but no sexual partner who's lucky enough to see yours is anything other than thrilled at the prospect. I think the best way to address - and dress - the small breast is with beautiful shaping and matching tops and bottoms. Then you've got symmetry on your side - which is much more correlated with beauty than size.

I know that small breasts can be emphasized with water or silicone inserts, padding or by undoing convertible straps at the back and re-affixing them in a cross-over design. I don't know that I want to go there. If I had a tiny chest, not only would I be flaunting my assets behind see-through chiffon, I would be thrilled to be considered attractive on the basis of well-turned outness, size notwithstanding. Oh, don't get me wrong, my tits are large - and they're nice, so I've been told. But I'd be just as happy with less endowment.

One of the hottest women I know - and I know my fair share - casts a metropolis-sized sexpot glamour largely on the basis of her comfort-level with herself. Her tremendous confidence - that unshakable belief that she is hot incarnate - makes her so magnetic that she reaps confidence- inspiring feedback in spades. So it's a fabulous, sexy feedback loop she's got going. It's a strategy one really can't teach, much though I wish you could. Point is, her breasts - while lovely - are neither huge nor "perfect". But they are covetable nonetheless.

In my next post, I will show some beautiful, practical, sexy, saucy bras that my small-breasted alter-ego would love to own. I can't guarantee that they'll be designed to make those tits look large. Just to make them look lovely.