Shout Out To Everyone: Wanted - A Plain Beige Bra (and the Prospects are Dire)

Lord help me, I'm half considering trying to make a rub off of another bra - just to see if my recent issues are with the Lola clone specifically or with bra-clones in general. Please stop me. I don't think it would be good for my blood pressure. This scenario is made all the more challenging on the basis that, this week, I picked up SIX lingerie sewing books from the library that I put on hold a while ago - all came available at once. These stupid books are staring at me with their beady, paper eyes. I suppose there's no harm in reading them.

At any rate, it's time to return to my ever-more pressing sartorial issue:  

 

Wanted: A plain, beige bra that fits the following description:

• No thick seams (though seams are ok) 

• No lining or padding or (though molded fabric is ok - just not the kind that holds its own shape in any way)

• Preferably no lace - but if there's lace it has to be the kind with very little topography

• Although I love a pointy shape, this bra would be good in a round shape since it will be worn under slim jersey items (like wrap dresses or T shirts) which tend to match best with spherical silhouette.

• It's gotta be beige - light beige is fine, dark beige (but NOT brown) is fine. Even super light beige is fine. But white is a no go. White bras are the worst things evah, IMO.

• It must have a narrow centre gore that tops out at 3 inches max and narrow(ish) wires with deep cups. Three-piece seamed is best for this but I'm willing to experiment.

Since it's very possible I'm not going to be able to make my own, basic balconette in time to replace the one I'm currently wearing (which is no longer available anywhere on the planet - the Freya Phoebe), I have to put it out there, serious-style. Please, my internet friends, help me to fill this wardrobe need.

So that you understand, it's not that I'm lazy:

• I used to wear the Fantasie Smoothing Balconette. It was awesome till they changed the material slightly - and my boobs became a bit less full on top (ahem) - and now it's a wrinkly mess.

• I've tried the Fantasie Helena balconette but gives wide-boob and there's no lift. Mind you, it's a lovely bra. Just not for me. Fantasie bras, in general, fit this description on my frame, fyi.  Note: the Helena in full cup is horrendous. The smoothing bra in full cup is the stuff of horror. If you're going to do Fantasie, I highly recommend you stick with the non-full cup styles.

• I've tried the Wacoal Retro Chic Full Cup and, seriously, since it's mega-ugly in the larger cup sizes, it's gotta meet every other target. As it is, this may be the most uncomfortable bra I've ever owned and I don't think I've ever complained about another bra being uncomfortable. Really, I'm kind of impervious to discomfort of this variety...  Although it is extremely well-made - and it fits many other women (with different shapes than mine, and in different sizes) with more success - on me the gore is too high (and digs in), the wires are too wide (and coupled with the extremely firm band, they wrap around in such a way to cause pain). It also provides NO lift. Mind you, the support is incomparable. Too bad I'm looking for a lifted, attractive, pain-free experience. Oh, I should mention that unless you're wearing the most modest of crew-necks, the cups come up too high on the sternum to actually wear underneath anything without being visible in the most "no can do" way.

• I've tried on, in store, every plain Empreinte beige bra in existence and they all look totally drab (except for this one which is made with a slightly napped fabric, aka something with a bit of tug which may cause some slim jerseys to drag over it). All of the Empreinte seamless styles have gores that are too wide for me (and which don't tack) and the one seamless bra in cup size that fits (almost) is too large in the back. Remember, there's no "sister sizing" with Empreinte. Every bra size has a different wire size.

• I've well and truly had it with Freya so, unless someone can convince me that they've come out with something beige, that doesn't have a band 6 inches longer than it should be (and ill-fitting, not-so-great material), I'm not into it.

• Sadly, there's nothing on offer in Cleo, in beige, as far as I can tell. Really though, if I'm wrong - please advise! I love this brand.

• I won't be giving Ewa Michalak my money again any time soon. Nor can I justify ordering bras sight-unseen from any other Polish vendor - I got burned once. The language-barrier, coupled with unfamiliar customer service standards and tricky returns, is too risky for me.

• Curvy Kate, Change and Elle Macpherson are too shallow in the cups for me.

• Gossard Glossies has piqued my curiosity but I've heard that it has a shallow cup (do advise if this is not true). I also wonder if it will have enough support.

• I already own the Triumph Doreen in beige and, while it has its jolie-laide appeal, it's not an every day T shirt bra. For one thing, it's too high cut. For another, it's very thick material that can be bulky under thin fabrics - and too hot for the summer.

• If I'm not mistaken, this leaves Panache. And I've looked at everything Panache. The Tango has too much texture - I own it in other colourways. The Melody is too flattening and shallow and, with the exception of the Idina (which in no way flips my switch), I sense that brand may be out too. BTW, I loathe the Andorra.

So, there you have it. Doncha just love it when people tell you about all the things that don't work. Makes it so pleasant.

Really, though. If you have any suggestions, with the exception of 8000 provisos, I'm open.