Charlie Skirt - The Drama Continues (Or, if You Prefer, Help Me to Choose My Next Knitting Project)

Brief check in to tell you I've never spent so long making a skirt in my life. And this pattern isn't even lined?! At any rate, I have either made some sort of late-stage mega mistake (though my review of the pattern pieces doesn't lead me to believe this) or there's an error in the 16, pdf version. I think I can fix it but it's going to take ripping out a lot of top stitching at the front waist and cutting down the waistband depth. FYI, this issue was not caused by my minimal, horizontal side seam alterations (which were carefully paired). Having said this, the other two blog people who've made this (I believe in the same size Correction: I made a modified 14, I believe they made the 16) did not note this issue. Could be that I did something wrong, construction-wise, but I don't think that's the case either.

The point is that I've got to put down this project and let my mind unconsciously review the situation. I don't believe this is a foregone failure and I do believe that this version will fit in the end (if not awesomely, first time out). I pin basted it to confirm. I'm just not sure about this waist band/back yoke - not the drafting of the original pieces OR the construction method OR what the final fit will be. It seems like there's too much fabric at the back waist... Might have to alter the yoke next time.

I also have to remove, like, 4 inches of length from the hem. It's crazy. Could have saved myself that fabric! My legs aren't short, even if I am, so I can tell you this pattern is designed with a tall person in mind.

I'm putting it down till tomorrow (I actually stopped at 1pm) but this now leaves me at loose ends on a long weekend! I guess I'm going to have to find a new project to knit as I've finished the Bias Wrap (it's blocking) and my half done pair of socks is at the office. Man that wrap was a fast, terrific knit. Wanna feel productive? Use bulky-weight squish-ball yarn. It disappears like a wet dog in water. But as it's drying, you can see its reconstructed, bloom-y potential.

So here are my next-step knitting options:

Option 1: The Cozy/Chic Fall Topper

Modern Wrapper by Churchmouse Yarns and Teas

Modern Wrapper Fine by Churchmouse Yarns and Teas

These 2 patterns are supposed to be versions of one another but, from all photos, they seem to be quite different in more ways than simply proportion. The Fine version is meant to have more size and fit options (the original is one-size). But the Original seems to have a sleeker silhouette with those fitted arms beneath a dropped shoulder. I think I'm going to have to buy both patterns (10 buck USD each) to see how the construction works in each. Then I can determine which is the better bet. Right now I'm leaning towards the original pattern made on a smaller needle size with a couple of horizontal and vertical edits. If you've made either - or even if you haven't! - please chime in with feedback.

I'll use this yarn, the bamboo/alpaca Briza by Americo:

Briza in Bark

As long as it's not too fuzzy (and the store sample of this yarn was not), I think that the design will look quite good in the Briza. Have I mentioned how much I love having 1500ish yards of yarn for every project. It increases my options tremendously!

Option 2: The asymmetric sweater that could be awesome - or bland:
 

Sweet Jane by Amy Miller

I've got this yarn earmarked:

Quince and Co. Chickadee in Kittywake

In case you thought I was joking about my irrepressible tendency toward grey and neutrals, think again!

But then there's the pretty, fitted Arrow pullover (below). The Arrow is technically designed for fingering-weight yarn, though the Chickadee I have earmarked is sport-weight. I think it might work well nonetheless:

Arrow by Megh Testerman

Thoughts?

But finally...

Option 3: The Hipster One that Karen from Fringe Association would make

Nancy's Vest by Carol Sunday

The wildcard here is the boobs. I'll have to find a way to knit this just big enough or it could be a tent. I'm impressed that so many of the versions on Ravelry, made for peeps of different shapes and sizes, have turned out to be flattering. That's a mark of a good pattern, in my experience.

To make this, I'll use my fab Icelandic indigo merino, gifted by Nic:

So what's the delay? Well, partly I'm feeling conflicted about which choice is the best. If you have thoughts about what I should make first - do let me know!

Moreover, the part of me that doesn't much feel like doing a ton of sweater-math is not jumping on any of these - and I have no idea which will be easiest. I'd say the Modern Wrap, but it's just huge on everyone so I'll need to modify its size, for sure.

Then, it's not lost on me that all of this knitting is stockinette. And most of it not in the round! That means I'm headed for another couple of months of knit one row, purl the next. Having just done this with the bias wrap, I can say that it does get old. Mind you, I much prefer, and find it much more ergonomic, to knit on thin needles with thin yarn, which is what most of the patterns in this next batch require.

BTW, I've been on a roll when it comes to finding gorgeous knitting patterns on Ravelry. Check out my favourites page for some great ideas, dare I say it myself! Somehow those photos show all samples knit in grey?!

Work In Progress: StyleArc Charlie Skirt

I realize, as I'm sewing the Charlie skirt (at a glacial speed), that I still have no idea of how this is going to fit for a whole bunch of reasons:

• I rarely sew skirts. Moreover, I haven't ever sewn a StyleArc Patterns skirt.
• I rarely sew with wovens or stretch woven fabrics. Show me a jersey and I'll tell you how to alter the pattern to ensure it'll sew up so it fits. I use wovens for 1 in 10 projects. Maybe. So I don't have much in the way of perceptual memory here.
• Every stretch woven is a little mystery - How will it drape? How stretchy is it, functionally?
• To some extent, I'm trying to refine fit (pre-alter) in lieu of having a sense of how the original design would fit. (I find this generally works better than sewing a pattern straight out of the envelope, but it means that there are that many more unknowns during the making of the original muslin.)

It's all the more piquing for miles of top-stitching - this is a denim skirt in spirit if not in construction. Do you know how precisely NEVER I take proud photos of my top-stitching? Um, that's cuz I never do it so I'm not very good at it so I never do it (repeat). Furthermore, it would probably be a good idea to find an edge-stitch foot. Because my machine is vintage (from the 70s), not sure how easy it'll be to find said foot. I'm kind of amazed that I've spent many hours making something the fit of which is still totally unknowable and the visible stitching of which, while better than I've managed in the past, is not exactly approaching perfection.

I'm feeling rather kindly towards myself today. (I know, whack!) So I'm going to be grateful that this is good enough:

I know that these look differently positioned but they're accurately aligned in real life!

Can you believe that this blue rayon denim is the same as the one in the photo below? Weird.

The deep blue of the fabric is actually more accurately shown in the photo above.

Of course, StyleArc isn't taking your money to provide you with decent instruction. Oh no. With this brand you're paying for the RTW-sensibility and generally good drafting. If you don't know how to do something, look it up. I have only once before sewn patch pockets and it was a fucking disaster. This time I went through the following steps, which I made up as I went along (though they're all quite standard, I'm sure).

• Chalked the patch pockets onto the wrong side of the skirt back pieces. (Who knows if these are the right size or correctly placed to suit my derriere but I can't pre-suppose that everything must be changed or I'd get nowhere.)
• Pinned the chalk lines so that the shape would be outlined on the right side.
• Heat fused the facing of the pocket to the wrong side of the fabric to hold it down, prior to stitching.
• Top stitched the pockets - boringly, but at least it's clean enough. I do not know how peeps manage to top-stitch outrageously complicated curves?!
• Heat fused the raw edges of the pockets under.
• Heat fused the clean-edges of the under-turned pockets to the right side of the skirt - the pockets in alignment with the pins.
• Top stitched the pockets down. Yeah, my needle got pretty gummy from all of the fusible tape I'd used to hold things in place without pins. It was fine though.

Did I mention that I'm not twin-needling? I'm doing each row of stitches independently. I find that twin-needles tend to tunnel as often as they don't and that makes me insane and puts me in a sewing state of persistent agitation. I mean this thing sews slowly but only because of all of the visible stitching. And consider, it takes twice as long to sew each stitch separately than it does to use a double-needle.

Also, didn't realize till half way through that you're not supposed to anchor the ends of top stitched rows by machine back-tacking. Oh well.

I don't have 3/4" elastic. Frankly, I find that width too narrow for everything. Instead I have some firm elastic that's 1 inch wide and some soft elastic that's 1.5 inches wide. I'll use the wider, presuming it'll work...

Oh, and while I'm disclosing the "let's think more about this next time" things, I should have serged, not sewn, the back yokes to the back skirt. Plus, gotta figure out how to serge or pre-finishe the faux-pockets and associated part of the front skirt pieces because those seams are, yeah, safely top-stitched down, but still vaguely frayish on the inside.

I truly hope that the fit is modifiable at the last step - the moment at which one sews the side-seams up (in a really strange way that apparently catches the elastic in the side-seams that might be unsightly or bulky. This is yet another thing I can't bring myself to turn my attention to while sewing a first version.) It's only at the last seam that I'll have a sense of whether the amount of fabric I cut is destined to actually fit my body with tweaks - either increased or decreased side seam allowances... Such suspense! If only this were a reality tv show!

But never mind me - how's your top stitching? Really, are you crazily good at it cuz you were born with great spatial skills (or you have great tools)? Do you get someone else to do it for you (or sew a lot of casual knits)? Do you avoid it cuz you don't have much initial aptitude (that would be me)? Let's talk.

Crafting Towards Autumn (But Happily Still Deep in Summer!)

This is the finished outcome...

Circular Vest Take 2

 
...of the pieces shown in a photo I posted on Instagram the other day:

I started this in May and really never got into a groove.

I truly have no idea why the slightest sign of rain makes me crazy - but this flinty/stormy sky colourway fills me with happiness.

It is by no means my most capably-knit garment. And yet I don't care. It's a really versatile and cool piece, IMO. It's also got more drape and weight than my version 1. Mind you, I don't know if that will make it my fave of these 2 garments in the end. The blue one has more heft in some indefinable way. I think the key to giving this the appropriate fall is to make it too big. The dilemma with that is that the collar of this garment is the same depth as the rest of the waistcoat piece (it's a circle) and that's already on the voluminous side in a modified medium. It's not a perfect garment unless you fit its proportions perfectly. Oh well, it can still be pretty good.

I used 2 different yarns (diff brands, weight and fiber) and yet they worked together almost seamlessly - each one being a variegated shade of gray. It was for reasons of yarn gauge, more than colour, that I opted to stripe these yarns every other row (or every 4 as I began to run out of the Biscotte). Man, that was a total pain in the ass. As the circle of knitting began to grow, the yarns got mega-tangled, every row, in the already-knitted section of the waistcoat piece.

If I don't end up wearing this often enough, you can bet it's going to a friend. I would never try to unravel it. 50 per cent of my effort was in the invisible striping! I can't say if I'll make this again (certainly not any time soon- it's a bit of a production, though not difficult) but I do recommend it.

This morning I cut out the Charlie skirt and marked the pieces. Tomorrow I'll start putting it together. Right about now, I do wonder how it's going to fit. It could easily be too big or too small, I really have no sense of it. The good news is that I have just about enough of the rayon denim to try again, should it be necessary.

I'll let you know how it's coming along...

The Sisterhood of the Elasticized Waistband

Starting Friday, I'm taking an extra long-weekend, the primary activity during which will be sewing.

(Brief sidebar, in case y'all are wondering: We're going to wait on the reno till March/April of 2017. The crew was actually organized to start next week, but with all of the stuff going on with Scott's parents - and all of the prep work we've yet to undertake, it seems prudent to defer until then. Scott was the one who pulled this trigger but I can't disagree with his motives. Mind you, I have informed all involved that - if this fucking renovation doesn't start the moment the ground thaws next spring - people are going to perish and/or get divorced. Metaphorically, I mean.)

But back to the sewing. I recently came across the StyleArc Charlie skirt:

Here's the genius: It's a skirt made from a stretch-woven fabric, faux front pockets (I hate front pockets) and patch pockets on the derriere. The best part? The back waistband is elasticized.

Don't judge! What's the harm in wearing a pull-on skirt if you can't tell that there's an elastic waist (the front is flat and sports a faux fly)? I've got some woven rayon denim with @20 per cent stretch and I think it's going to do the trick.

Alas, I purchased the online pattern in a multi-size 10-12-14 (these three come in the same batch though they're not nested) and there's a point to be made that I might have purchased the 14-16-18 pack. How I wish they offered a 12-14-16... I also wish that StyleArc gave better sizing information on the website (or even on the pattern/in the envelope).

Here's the thing, I do not sew without making alterations, so any size I bought would have had to be altered. In this instance - having heard that the Charlie fits snug - I took my latest hip/waist measurements and compared them with those of the size 14 the pattern. I mean, I didn't just look at the envelope. I measured all of the seams, minus the seam allowances, did the math and altered (pre muslin 1, that is). I'm glad I did because I cannot stand tightness around my waist or hips right now. I need skim. And that means it was prudent to add an inch to the finished hip measurement and 1.5 inches to the waist. Sure, the stretch in my fabric may pick up the slack, but I'd rather have larger seam allowances than a muslin that feels like casing.

I'm not going to get into it, but yesterday's measurement experience was a shock. I haven't noticed huge increases in my dimensions when regularly measuring (simply small encroaching ones) but it appears that my hips are @2 inches larger than they used to be and my waist is a good 4 inches larger than it used to be. By used to be, I mean 4 years ago. Fuck. To clarify: When I took these measurements, I was not bloated. I had not just eaten.

Here's the situation, Ladies: When you go through the Change - the never-fucking-ending-eternal process of perimenopause,  you may observe no meaningful transition in your body, in your mental capacity, in your physical well being, in your sense of self. And if you fall into that category you are either truly blessed (and you have ALL of my envy) or you're totally unaware (and you still have my envy).*

You may, however, expand disproportionately in some areas of your body. I regret to inform you that it's probably a foregone conclusion based on your family genetics. Those also of Puerto Rican and Italian heritage, you have all of my apple-ish-shaped empathy.** Sure, you can starve yourself. I have a friend who eats, shall we say, lightly - but she doesn't particularly enjoy food and she's struggled with digestive issues for her entire life. But the truth is, you may be so fucking beside yourself, half the time, that food and wine will be amongst the only things that you can still relate to.

I'm having an interesting ride - as you know - though my cycle continues to be of German-precision, if changing. I've got the trifecta of midsection thickening, intermittent chronic pain (rather bad right now, sadly) AND sometimes I feel as if I'm going crazy. When I was a teenager, I remember a family relative, by marriage, was admitted to an institution because she'd come unhinged in midlife. When I asked my mother what could possibly have happened, she told me it was menopause-related, that many of this woman's close blood relatives had experienced the same thing. (Note: They have all recovered and have gone on to live happy lives after an extended stay in hospital.) At that time, I told my mother that she was obviously misinformed -  that it couldn't possibly be so. But right about now, I kind of get it.

Don't misunderstand - while I am totally having a midlife crisis, I am not down for the count. Though I'm struggling - because pretty well all of my internal stability has been perfunctorily upended - I still view this as reintegration via disintegration.

But once again, back to the topic at hand...

I'm going to spend the weekend figuring out how to make a spectacular pull-on skirt that looks totally legit and hangs beautifully. I'm going to sew the shit out of that thing. And when I'm not doing that, I'm going to practice my strange version of yoga/bodywork to ameliorate pain, have some meaningful conversation with my husband (as the kids are calling it these days) and eat and drink less than I might like (but more than perhaps I should).

Stay tuned. It'll be interesting.

* And just to reassure you, or to scare you, I (the poster-child of hateful perimenopause) am rather grateful to say that I don't experience many of the dozens of unfortunate symptoms that can inform the perimenopausal experience. Point is that even I fall somewhere on the "it could be much worse" continuum.

**To clarify: I know that I am within weight and height norms. I realize that I am not technically overweight, even if my waist circumference isn't at the healthy low end (according to some possibly fallible medical association). I realize that norms and "scientific" standards are neither normal nor standard and that we are all unique. I realize that all shapes can be beautiful (or not - it's very person-specific) because of and despite weight, shape and size. I know that youth is as it does. I know that age levels the playing-field. I know that style is timeless, but one's style may change. 

All I'm talking about here is ME. I'm talking about how I used to look a certain way that I liked and that I could relate to. I used to feel good in my body, not wracked with pain. I used to feel capable physically and predominantly healthy, not afraid of what may come. And I am not that person right now. But I assure you, I'm doing my very best to be a new person - one with much more insight, intelligence, agility and self-acceptance than I currently feel.  So when I speak of my body issues, they are mine. Don't think for a minute that I extend them to anyone else.

6000 Yards

I tend to either sew a lot or knit a lot. These days it's skewed to the sewing with a sock or knit project completion on the side. I do find that socks are a perfect knit in the summer because they are light, easy to transport and enjoyable. So I don't know how (given that socks are largely all I've knit since the beginning of May) that my stash has grown exponentially.

You may recall that by mid-April of this year, I'd used up about 6200 yards of my stash yarn (of all different weights). And then I started yearning for something new to pet...

It started out with 600 yards of this:

Classic Elite Chalet - Bamboo and Alpaca in Stone, Slate and Charcoal

My parents bought this lovely chainette-yarn for me for my birthday when I visited in mid-May. It feels great, it looks great - it's got an ombre gray thing going on. I bought it having seen a knitted sample of the Color Block Bias Wrap. That is what I intend to make with it. I've just today started it. All good.

But then I felt like making a few things that required at least a bit of new yarn. That's how this, this, this and this (new photo pending) came about... Still good - buy yarn / use yarn. That's how it should work.

Then I got a bit sock-frisky and this, this and this were made - from newly purchased yarn natch. Note: I'm going to combine all of the remnants to make a 4th pair of socks. Again, not using stash - but all stash has been assigned to something I can make later. And 2 of these 3 pairs have already been gifted to Sandra and Nicole, to thank them for looking after M while she was sick and I was away. The third pair is technically only half finished.

I also allowed myself, in this grey-phase, to purchase a sweater's-worth of Chickadee in Kittywake (a version of grey). That's 1500 yards I haven't had a chance to use yet:

Quince and Co. Chickadee in Kittywake

I'm pretty sure I'm going to make the Sweet Jane with it. Just haven't closed the loop.

But somewhere along the line, I got a bit sidetracked. 

My goal is to a) be able to fit all of my gorgeous stash into one deep banker's box and b) to ensure that I can use up all of my yarn when I buy it (perhaps by buying more than needed for one project, but by having 2 projects clearly in mind).

The following purchases did not exactly come with that pre-awareness: 

Charlevoix Pure Laine in Grey and Cream

There was no way I was passing up some "real" Quebec yarn while I was in the land of sheep and cheese. I mean, I've never seen it before and I'm likely to have rare access to it. This is a fingering-weight that's purported to be great for socks. It's loosely-twisted 2-ply and it's very airy and it actually has some nylon in it, making it wash-and-dryable, I suspect.  While it's not a merino-bomb, it is rather squishy and soft. I bought 1100 yards. I figure it will make great 2-tone socks - like in a grey theme. You get? If I change my mind, I've got enough of it to make something substantial like a wrap or even a small sweater.

Then I found out that Americo is closing its bricks-and-mortar store (but not online store) and I felt compelled to buy some more tonal-taupe/grey fingering yarn in a chainette construction with lots of air. This is the 3rd time I've purchased airy/chainette yarns in 3 months:

Briza in Stone colourway

I got 4 skeins at 25% off. That's 1600 yards. I truly have no idea what to make with this. Any thoughts?? I'm listening.

And then Nicole went to Iceland a couple of weeks ago and bought me back some gorgeous blue yarn - the only colour I seem to like to knit with other than gray these days:

Istex Kambgarn in Indigo (942)

This is an unusual find - merino in Iceland. It's actually not from Icelandic sheep but from imported merino sheep. It is milled and otherwise processed in Iceland. The colour is gorgeous - not an indigo but not too light. It's quite soft but not excessively drapey. Of course, this is a super generous gift and I LOVE it. But no idea as yet what to make with my 1300 yards of worsted-spun, sport-weight Kambgarn.  It's  a good amount and great weight for a sweater. In truth, I much prefer its sturdy but delicate hand and drape over that produced by the woolen-spun Icelandic fiber. That stuff is interesting but its not my natural preference. Of course, learning more all the time, I have begun to realize my penchant neither for very soft/squishy merino/cashmeres nor the hairy, stiff woolen-spuns. I fall somewhere on the middle of the continuum. I suspect that most of us do.

So now I appear to have a) no room in the box cuz I've acquired b) 6100 additional yards of sport or fingering-weight yarn. Wow - that seems really out of line with "smart stashing".

Or does it? I've got 4 great batches of yarn in adequate yardages to actually think big(ish). I've been using most of what I purchase immediately, because it's set out for something specific. Even in instances where stash has preceeded pattern,  one batch I got on sale for a really good price, 2 others were actually FREE! One I bought to commemorate a vacation. Seriously, this could be worse. In fact, it was worse when I'd buy without knowing anything much about the properties of yarn I wanted or the needs of my projects or how much yarn one requires to do something specific. Also, keep in mind that I've bought and immediately used @2500 yards of yarn since I finished with the Stash Bust in April. That means I'm using the new stuff at a good rate. 

NO doubt, I'm not buying anymore yarn until I've used up another 6000 yards of my current stash. That could happen by next spring, conceivably. I'm  a pretty organized knitter and I do love an outcome. But till it does happen, I will not buy. I have more than enough yarn of the weights and yardages I often use to get me through the winter. Maybe this is my way: 6000 yards in, 6000 yards out. Seems odd but I'm willing to consider it.

But how about you? Do you serially stash? Do you organize and resist even on vacation? What do you think of my new yarns and my, um, rationalization sound argument for more sheep hair ? Let's talk.

Finished Object: Appleton Dress (The Top Version)

Another day, another batch of stuff to say about the Appleton Dress. This time it's the Appleton top hack. I thought this would be a useful opportunity for me to a) use lots o' spatial skills, as I went through every last freakin' inch of my 3 yards of fabric and b) reflect additional alterations to the pattern, after my muslin 1, dress version. And, on these accounts, my new Appleton top is a success. Not that it was outrageously exciting to create, in exactly the same fabric, after just making the original dress. But I'm getting there with the fit...

The Alterations that produced Version 2:

• I removed a 0.5" wedge just above the waist, tapering to nothing at the side seams (swayback alteration, which works for me because it offsets length required in front bodice to cover boobs). While I was able to do this without adding in a centre back seam, my cutting options were so few that I had to cut the back in two halves or I wouldn't have had enough fabric. That's why there's a seam in this version

• Instead of incorporating a fisheye dart (my after-the-fact fix of muslin 1, dress version, given that the back bodice was too wide, not photographed), I removed 0.75" from each side of the back bodice only.  

These seem to have improved the back fit rather a lot:

New Version!

Contrast that with the back bodice from muslin 1 (dress version). I eventually fisheye darted the dress version, below is the undarted original. The darting helped but there was still to much fabric over my derriere, as the darting centralized it all.

• I also  added about 0.25" of extra diagonal height along the V neck bodice. I did NOT narrow the ties - I'm working with the originally-drafted width right now. An extra smidge of height does provide the perfect amount of extra coverage so that the tip of my balconette-bra centre-gores does not peek out.

• Furthermore, I finished the right-hand side seam (the one with the tie-opening) in a different way this time: serged edges, straight-stitched the side seam, tacked down the tie opening seam allowance with a top stitch. I think it would have been smarter to zig zag the side seam, rather than straight-stitch it, but I don't love the zig zag look so I'm starting with a straight stitch. If it breaks, I'll redo it.

This is much neater than a regular serge (which leaves no seam allowance) and you can stabilize the opening by top stitching down the seam allowance.

I'm not quite done with the alterations. Next time, I'll add a bit more fabric (maybe 0.5" on either side) at the front side-seams.

Some things about the Appleton Top version (vs. the Dress):

• The instructions for the hack direct you to cut 2 of the left-hand bodice (this is the slightly wider side / front bodice) for more coverage. I actually like this idea for making the dress verision too. It really works. The Appleton surplice is LOW. That's sexy - but it's a bit much (bust line depending) to wear when attending fancy meetings. Next time I make the dress, I'm going to do use the left-hand side pattern pieces only. Note: In addition to adding that extra bit of height on the neck-edge of the bodice (see above), this instruction took the dress from edgy to work-appropriate.

• While I admire just about everything Cashmerette, I'm not fond of the ties-version provided with the Appleton Expansion Pack - Top Hack. I suspect they are designed to be a) distinct from those provided with the dress and b) an opp to weigh down the top (in lieu of the weight that a dress skirt would provide). Here's the thing: If you want more weight, I suggest you sew some pennies into the hem. The ties are SO heavy and so over-long that, if you make them as instructed - and sit them just under the bust, they are apt to drag down the fabric under the bust and pull at the tie opening. Let me clarify: I am using a robust jersey. A lighter one might be less problematic. But seriously, these ties use SO much fabric. I recommend you stick with the original / dress-version ties and move the opening lower than your underbust, like, to your mid-waist. As you know, I'm calling my version of this top/dress an altered "size 10". Even still, I removed 7 inches of length on each tie, from the original size 12 measurements, and the structure is too long and too heavy. That's six inches over and above my altered "size 10" tie measurement on each side.  

This pattern is an enjoyable keeper - though not a fast sew. It took me 10 hours to sew this top - almost as long as it did to sew the dress (not surprising, as the dress is simply longer, not otherwise different, than the top). The amount of time I made up in the stitching of this version, I more than lost in making the latest round of alterations. Of course, next time I'll realize the benefit (I hope).

One more thing. I'll say it again: Do not underestimate the amount of fabric you'll need to make this dress or top. I usually get away with 0.75 less fabric than recommended within the pattern instructions (because I'm short, narrow, I tend to use wide fabric, and because many patterns seem to overestimate the yardage requirement). Not this one. There are a number of pieces and this dress overlaps itself.

I guess it's clear, at this point, that I cannot turn down competition. Gillian dared me to sew this, even though I wasn't in a playful mood, and now I've got a great new dress and top! So I guess I owe her, yet again! She was, after all, my impetus for sock sewing (which I've now embraced with the power of a thousand suns).

Pain in the Ass (Amongst other Places)

I don't know whether to be grateful or grudging that pain returned at the onset of a much needed vacation. It's still here - though shifting (and becoming more malleable with awareness. While the time away brought some awesome moments, it culminated in yet another awful stress. My mother-in-law was in a pretty serious car accident. Miraculously, she's alright (physically, anyway). The car, not so much. It's totaled. But it means more things to worry about. My husband is most definitely having the chance to see aging in action - like, writ large - with all of the responsibility that being one's adult child entails. Really, this fucking age-and-stage shit is not our jam. (Note: Scott really is handling things admirably.)

I realize that I spend a lot of time on this blog complaining or, as I like to call it, being honest. (I like to think that I also spend a lot of time on this blog being positive or an occasional resource for others or a momentary good read.) The fact is that I can only write about where I'm at, and who I am, at any given moment.

Sometimes, I'm the crazy yarn stash-buster. Other times, such as today, I'm the lady who has - in the last 2 weeks - somehow managed to accumulate more stash than she actually busted on her recent, serious stash-busting mission (which was a success). Don't worry - I have a very exciting post about that coming up. If you like to watch rationalization in action, that is.

I'm also that half-mathy / half-half-assed intuitive sewist, who's having a super time refining the Appleton dress - and top - over these past few days. I'm going very slowly because, well, I feel like I'm a hundred and like I've been hit by a bus. Moreover, I don't know what the rush is. I have enough dresses to wear on Monday.

FYI, the osteopath, like the massage therapist, believes I have dislocated my tailbone. If this is the case, it should be a fairly easy (but unpleasant) fix. And while I'm pleased to know that the immediacy of my butt pain will likely be temporary, the metaphor is both hilarious and seemingly eternal (at least these days).

Peeps, I live in this body. I know it very well (even as it evades me with its complexity). My lower back/hip/sacral/coccyx pain may be fixable at the extreme (and thank God for that!), but this is related to my other intermittent chronic pain. I can feel it. And I've spent the last four weeks (often standing for an hour at a time) going through the highs and lows. The low: it's horrid. The high: it's fucking experiential. I feel my structural interrelatedness with increased clarity. Before the pain was a cement block, now it's a series of calibrated layers. My awareness increases with every phase. I'm getting better at this, even if the pain isn't falling away. To feel one's body is a great privilege, even if the sensation is the product of a faulty feedback loop. This sensation is a gift, even as it's a curse. It shows me, viscerally, how everything is just the product of perception.

Here's the thing, I don't know if I'm going to have this issue (on and off as it is) for another year or another 5 years or for the rest of my freakin' life. (Note: I truly do not believe it will last for the rest of my life because I believe I can resolve it with awareness and change. My money's on me. For whatever reason, I really do believe in myself. Moreover, hormones will change.) Alas, I don't appear to be the fastest learner.

I have come up with an interesting practice - approximately 20 minutes of work with the MELT roller (I do my own "poses" which target the trigger points), followed by another 25-30 minutes of gravity-based yoga. What is this? Well, I don't know if it exists, as such, or if it's a technique I've devised from my experience of other schools of yoga. I do a series of poses. They can change but include those wherein I can use a either part of my body or a prop (sometimes elaborate, self-devised) to stabilize and ground another part of my body. I hold these poses for 10-15 minutes, increasing the intensity, very slowly, through various isometric micro-actions. These actions are not taken to extremes - the goal is to activate the pain source SO gently that it tricks the source, which then yields and the pain response diminishes. It's bizarrely subtle work. One mobilizes this action with slow, even breathing and conscious muscular breath control (pranayama).  It think it would be very hard to teach this.

Scott is increasingly of the opinion that I should do some weight-lifting (something that fills me with dread at the best of times and seems insane right now). He feels the issue might be exacerbated by muscle atrophy and that, at very least, the endorphins produced might reroute my pain response. I'm not on this page but, hey, desperate times. And he's lived through the entirety of my experience, if one step removed. We both spend a lot of time hatching plans that might improve crazy Kristin-pain.

Of course, life doesn't go into stasis just because one feels like shit. It's an interesting time in my career right now and I'd be unwise not to leverage it. So I'm using all of my tenacity - which is formidible, thankfully - to plow on.

At any rate, just wanted to check in on this topic. I sincerely hope that, if there are other readers out there who manage pain, that my updates may serve as community newsletter of sorts. We are not alone and we are capable of affecting change. We're also the poster children for goddamn fortitude. Here's to self-awareness. (Def toast with a good wine.)