From La Ferme to Le Spa Kristin

It's a spectacular day where I live and I'm happy to watch it from in here. Quinoa cooks while I drink some green juice and a turmeric shot. (Damn straight that quinoa's got butter in it. What am I, an ascetic?)

The Good and Turmeric booster from Greenhouse Juice

I'm wearing my new Concord T (the sleeveless hack) and I freakin' love it, even if my pre-vacation stitching handiwork is lacking. In truth, the fabric was more difficult than I imagined it would be...

It's Spa Kristin here. I've put on a face mask. I've body scrubbed. I've slathered everything with organic potions. I've put on my essential oil diffuser. I'm considering my next yoga practice as I'm in quite a bit of pain. I'm wondering about which half-done knitting project to pick up. I'm wondering about whether it's sacrilege to watch Netflix on a perfect summer day. I sent Scott out for a very fine Sauvingnon Blanc. Dinner's going to be here soon enough and, while I'm totally working the clean living angle, one's organic broth with vegetables and pastina needs a pairing.

(I've also paid bills, unpacked, cleaned, nagged at the child to clean and organized my life to the best of my ability given that I'm not really into it. I will assure you that throwing money at things comes with a serious downside. Lord. While I will never regret having purchased my new wrap - which I wore daily in Quebec while every chic woman complimented me in French - I might have waited for a less spendy moment.)

To return to the whole juice thing, just for a minute, I do want to mention how life changing that wretched juice fast was for me the winter before last. While I will never forego food purposefully again, the experience taught me that no-sugar green juice and I are weirdly compatible. Moreover, there is no turmeric shot in the GTA that I haven't tried at this point. And, well, you know of my homemade almond milk obsession...

Lots of people look at me like I'm insane when I tell them about my propensity to drink cold-pressed juice. It's not the drinking that shocks them so much as the paying a fortune for juice that's gone in 5-20 minutes. They don't even have cold-pressed shops in Quebec, as far as I can tell (at least not that I could find). Before I got into it, I was convinced that the juice thing would last about 5 minutes and then everyone would be out of business. (BTW - that's what I thought about online shopping, too, back in 1993.) Now that I've experienced the strange, deep cell-plumping feeling, that comes of drinking really high-quality vegetable juice, I'm frankly hooked. I do not believe it is mere placebo. The greens are delicious and intense and they make my body feel lively, even as pain is hovering. Furthermore, it's a massive haul of vitamins in every glass but you don't even have to chew - nor is there any of that hideous foam that comes from home-juicing! I dislike the tree-texture of many green vegetables even as I quite like the taste. Be ware, however, of the green juices with any amount of sugar. Very quickly they devolve into a fruit drink which does not leave one with liveliness, with that vitamin-y glow. If you want to drink sugar (and I don't recommend it), I suggest you do it with a nice Sauvignon Blanc. Or in the form of a macerated date in a glass of almond milk. Either is quite good. :-)

At any rate, off to eat some organic black quinoa. Ever had it? It's actually way better than the other colours. It's much crunchier - almost like popcorn in a way - and it's got a deeper flavour than the white and red varietals. If only I had some sheep to pet.

Fast and Furious

It would seem that juice fasting is not a resonant topic :-) No mind, I got through it and - for better or worse - I've decided to recap the experience. More, I've decided to expand on it (or to expound).

Here's the thing: the commentary I did receive (mainly from Twitter and people "in my real life", which is a ridiculous term cuz readers are as real as all the others) was largely of the "Are you kidding??" variety. I was told numerous times that "juice cleanses don't work" and that "there's no scientific evidence". From my vantage point, however, I think one has to define what "working" means, before one jumps to the conclusion that effort has been wasted.

Let me clarify: I have no illusions about drinking only mashed-up vegetables, fruits and nuts for a day. I do not believe it cures illness. I do not believe it hastens one's metabolism. I do not think that anyone loses weight.

Furthermore, if one is healthy in such a way as to permit a day (or a few days, heaven forfend) of cleansing of this sort, I do not think it harms one's health in any way.

So, why did I bother?

Well, I wanted to reset my digestive system (which has been struggling over the last couple of years, when I'd never had an issue prior to hitting my 40s). Many a juice-cleanser I know assured me that this would occur. Also, you know about my reasonably recent, but utter commitment to hydration of connective tissue (along with the relevant body work) and to reduce inflammation. This certainly addresses that. And finally, I wanted to know more about my relationship to food - nay, to eating - in way that only the absence of the activity could clarify.  Look, I went on a well-planned adventure with my body, in a completely mindful fashion, and I have no regrets.

On these fronts, my friends, the juice cleanse - if only by my own experience - was utterly effective.

So, here's what happened (sparing the detail of the unpalatable parts):

• I lived all of the emotions associated with not eating and, even fabricated, this experience was intensely uncomfortable.

• I found it really difficult to fit 3 litres of juice into my body in just a day, which is hilarious because I'm sure I could have eaten a pound of bacon.

• It was hideously effective in terms of the digestive reset. Let's just say I didn't leave the house because I couldn't. This was a rather surprising impact (despite what I'd been told) and one I cannot say I enjoyed. However, I can see how it might be very useful for people who have inflammatory digestive conditions.

• I slept a lot of the day, to pass the time and because I was freezing cold despite drinking tea constantly and wearing 8000 layers.

• When I awoke, I spent hours feeling feverish and overheated.

• About midday, my really oily skin became totally tight and dry - in a way I've never experienced in 44 years - to the extent that I started slathering on almond oil hourly.

• I carefully monitored my intake of juice to protect my blood sugar (note this cleanse is designed, with nut milks having added oils, to provide protein and fat) and, nonetheless, I felt like crap.

• Today, having begun to reintroduce healthy foods in reasonable quantities into my diet, I still feel like crap.

• In what ways do I still feel like crap? My body hurts (that thing I often experience), my stomach is unsettled, my internal thermostat is off, I have a headache and I feel demoralized.

• Could all that be because it's January in Toronto and I'm me? Absolutely. But the symptoms came on quite suddenly after starting the juice cleanse.

• Are all of these things as a result of "detoxing"? I have no idea. I don't think they're as a result of blood sugar imbalance because I stayed carefully on top of that and I drank hundreds of calories. This wasn't a fast from that perspective.

• Are these symptoms potentially the result of destabilizing my system? Could be. But really, I know people who eat less food on a regular basis than I drank yesterday, and they seem to be just fine.

• Are these symptoms potentially the result of having done something out of phase with the seasons? Quite possibly.

• Were these symptoms exacerbated by my period (sorry for the TMI)? Absolutely. In fact, they may have been caused by it (and then exacerbated by the cleanse).

So, what's the upshot? To digress slightly, after I had a baby, I knew immediately that I would never, under any circumstances, relive the horror of that experience. And, look, my child is an only.

This cleanse, however, is such that I imagine, within a couple of months, the unpleasantness will have faded (much as they tell you happens with childbirth but that's bullshit, IMO). Be sure though, I will not do it again in the winter in Canada. Or when I have my period.

What did I learn?

I learned that, were I to do this again, I would customize the cleanse such that the amount of nut milk would be in the realm of 1.5 litres (to 1.5 litre of juice) rather than 0.5 litres to 2.5 litres. Also, I'd put some additional oil in the nut milks to increase the fat consumed. I need fat, people. More than I ever realized.

I'd increase the volume of green juice without sugar. Interestingly, the juice without sugar was the most palatable and it made me feel the best. (The nut milks were largely unsweetened, so they were particularly stabilizing.) I feel my blood sugar would have preferred less sweetness, in the absence of food bulk, despite the fact that all of the drinks with fruit were very well-balanced. I sense they're at their most well-balanced in a "juice as supplement" way, at least for my biochemistry.

I learned that not eating is very complicated, even for just a day, and that the thought of going without food for any reason is distressing.

I learned that changing a life-sustaining habit, even for a very short period of time, can have massive impacts on one's body. Don't take this sort of experience lightly. Yeah, I'm probably sensitive (I usually am), but I wouldn't recommend going to work under these circumstances.

It remains to be seen if this has any positive impact on my experience of pain. So far I'm in more pain than usual - which isn't the optimal direction, IMO, unless it's a temporary thing to be followed by a trajectory of pain diminishment. I have no idea what's to come.

So, there you go - Kristin's take on the most solopsistic of bourgeois acts.

I really would love to know about your experiences of juice fasting, if ever you've done this sort of thing! Let's talk.

Feast or Famine?

In case you're wondering what's up here on this day, so cold one's breath hangs in the air, I'm doing a one-day juice cleanse. Not so intuitive, the mid-winter juice cleanse, but you know how I love good marketing - and cold-pressed juice, not to mention that I really am on a mission to hydrate and diminish inflammation simultaneously.

Nothing like a day of juice, I say, to make you realize how little you actually need to eat and how much you'd prefer to be doing just that.

I'm doing Greenhouse Juice's Gentle Cleanse aka the cleanse for wusses. I'm ok with that. It's approximately 3 litres of juices (vegetable, fruit, nut) of numerous varieties, designed to assist health in numerous ways, all of which (so far) are delicious. (OK, the E3 shot was sort of ugh, but it was small.)

An undeniably terrific element of this exercise is that I had the super-heavy bottles delivered directly to my door yesterday afternoon. Not only does Greenhouse schedule delivery within a 3 hour window (one of which is 4:30 am -7:30 am), the delivery person sent me a photo of my juice in an adorable made-to-measure box, sitting on the porch, to confirm delivery. This operation kills me! Fortunately Scott was home within an hour of this or my poor juice would have frozen solid. Furthermore, and you know how I grudge shipping costs, delivery is free when you spend 69 bucks or more. Spending 70 bucks for 3 litres of juice might seem high on drugs, but you have to consider that 3 lbs of produce goes into making half a litre. Sure, a couple of the juices are glorified "water", but people, it's spa and this is Toronto and the place operates out of Rosedale. What do you expect?

I even got some stand-by juices, in case I freak out about volume. But then I drank them last night, in a pre-juicing consumption frenzy. The fast, people, it's a mind-fuck.

I opted to do this on a Saturday because I didn't want to be preoccupied in any way during the week but, man, I wish I had something more with which to occupy myself right now. Sure, I've spent a few hours making potions and, next up, some body work. But I may just have to pick up my knitting needles (sleeping since November, to give my muscles a rest) to keep my hands occupied.

So, please, keep me motivated. Have you ever done a juice cleanse? Did it mess with your mind? Have you done this juice cleanse? Thoughts about Greenhouse specifically? Do you think it's weak to think about food when you've got a constant supply of juice to contend with? Do you think it's insane to do a juice cleanse in the first place? Really, let's talk.