Nutty

I've had a post done for a while, about my latest finished garment - the StyleArc Elita - but I haven't had enough light (or energy, or time or motivation etc.) to photograph the end result. Stay tuned, we are supposed to have some sun over the next few days (at the cost of -30C temps) so I should be able to take a picture soon... The short story is that it's very wearable.

This post is to update you on the saga of the blender / nut milks. OMG, people, I have no regrets about spending a small fortune on this entry-level model Blendtec. (Note: I did get a deal but it still cost a lot. My rationale is that I've never bought a blender before. I've been using the one my parents, got as a wedding gift in 1968, since I moved out of their house in 1988.) You cannot make nut milks optimally unless you've got a powerful machine with a good design. I mean, if you've got a war-horse appliance-store version that's worked for you in the past, that's great, but I've read that the low-end models just can't adequately grind.

At any rate, here's what I've learned so far:

• I'm not nuts about almond milk when a much easier, and more delicious, alternative is cashew milk. The thrill of cashew milk is that the nuts are soft enough to be completely obliterated by blending so you don't need to strain the pulp. It also tastes creamier, no doubt because one consumes the entire nut, not simply the interior.

• I'm using non-irradiated, non-sulphite, organic nuts (to the best of my ability). It strikes me, if I'm going to go to the trouble of making nut milk 2x per week (at the volume of 3 litres), I'm going to use the best raw materials I can find. Ditto for the dates, cocoa and vanilla.

• It takes about 20 minutes, start to finish, to make 1.5 litres of milk. That's the amount that M and I drink in 3 days (the shelf life of the stuff). We each have 250 ml per day, she after kickboxing and I for breakfast. Of course, the nuts need to soak for a period of time (nut-depending) to soften, hydrate, clean and activate enzymes. So you have to factor that in as prep time. But that part takes a minute (followed by the waiting period).

• The recipe is a piece of cake: 190g of cashews, 4-6 dates, 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa, 1tbsp vanilla extract or 1/2 vanilla pod seeds, 5 cups water. So far I haven't done much experimenting but my next go round, I think I'll make it ORANGE by adding a tbsp of turmeric in place of the cocoa. We'll see how the kid deals with that. I'm looking to reduce inflammation in my body, as you know, and turmeric's all the rage for that.

• M loves it and, between the intensity of her kickboxing (she's hardcore) and some info we've gained about her learning-style and brain chemistry, I'm committed to ensuring that she increases her healthy fat and protein consumption. She and I both take daily fish oil and evening primrose oil supplements as well - for entirely different reasons. 

• Seriously, if there's one thing that juice fast taught me it's that fat is essential. It's all the more essential for people whose mental and/or physical metabolisms move fast. Furthermore, it makes your skin glow, your eyes shine, your hair bouncy. Don't eschew the stuff - just don't eat crap. I use so much oil these days it's ridiculous. Sure, it's February. It's freezing and dry. Do I moderate my fat consumption in summer? Absolutely. Too much fat seems gross when it's warm. But this climate can kill you or, at very least, cripple you with depression. Fat moderates weakness in the face of harsh climate.

• I'm not much into dwelling on calories in my 40s. All through my 20s and 30s I was a food diary keeper. I can tell you how many calories are in anything, anytime, and frankly, I'm bored by it. I also believe that calorie counting can obscure a much more relevant matter: nutrition. I'm in a phase of my life when my body's not acting as I expect it to, as it used to - as it would have at any other time. But there's nothing like pain to put shape-change into perspective. My goal is to get to menopause (and far beyond) in optimal health. I want to support my brain, my joints, the suppleness of my muscles and tissues, my bones. I appreciate my youthful appearance and I believe that the way to maintain it is to exercise appropriately (that changes for me depending on the week), to sleep a fuck of a lot and to eat fat.

• Now having said that, and because a lot of people have asked me, I did the math so I can tell you that 250 ml of cashew milk has @200 calories, 5.5g of protein and 13.5g of fat. I haven't bothered to figure out the sugar content but cashews themselves have practically no sugar and I'm not going to worry about the sugar in 1 date. That makes this drink mostly fat, by composition, and that's entirely cool as far as I'm concerned. I have it for breakfast - a meal I sometimes struggle with because I don't like to eat early - and supplement it with a handful of pumpkin seeds or a hard-boiled egg. My pain is most noteworthy in the morning because I'm at my most dehydrated (though I do drink a glass of water in the middle of the night), so this elixir provides some energy, some ballast AND hydration. It also makes a great drink post-exercise and a lovely dessert. It's terrific for managing the chaos of PMS. Would I drink 3 a day? No - not unless I were prepared to cut back on solid food, which I'm not. But will I drink it daily? Yup.

So, there you go. My foray into cold-pressed juices and milks really has facilitated a change in my eating habits and perspective. I see food now in a much more deconstructed, metabolic way than ever I have before, and it inspires me to eat well, especially when the drink I take now can make all the difference in the way my body feels pain later.

Fast and Furious

It would seem that juice fasting is not a resonant topic :-) No mind, I got through it and - for better or worse - I've decided to recap the experience. More, I've decided to expand on it (or to expound).

Here's the thing: the commentary I did receive (mainly from Twitter and people "in my real life", which is a ridiculous term cuz readers are as real as all the others) was largely of the "Are you kidding??" variety. I was told numerous times that "juice cleanses don't work" and that "there's no scientific evidence". From my vantage point, however, I think one has to define what "working" means, before one jumps to the conclusion that effort has been wasted.

Let me clarify: I have no illusions about drinking only mashed-up vegetables, fruits and nuts for a day. I do not believe it cures illness. I do not believe it hastens one's metabolism. I do not think that anyone loses weight.

Furthermore, if one is healthy in such a way as to permit a day (or a few days, heaven forfend) of cleansing of this sort, I do not think it harms one's health in any way.

So, why did I bother?

Well, I wanted to reset my digestive system (which has been struggling over the last couple of years, when I'd never had an issue prior to hitting my 40s). Many a juice-cleanser I know assured me that this would occur. Also, you know about my reasonably recent, but utter commitment to hydration of connective tissue (along with the relevant body work) and to reduce inflammation. This certainly addresses that. And finally, I wanted to know more about my relationship to food - nay, to eating - in way that only the absence of the activity could clarify.  Look, I went on a well-planned adventure with my body, in a completely mindful fashion, and I have no regrets.

On these fronts, my friends, the juice cleanse - if only by my own experience - was utterly effective.

So, here's what happened (sparing the detail of the unpalatable parts):

• I lived all of the emotions associated with not eating and, even fabricated, this experience was intensely uncomfortable.

• I found it really difficult to fit 3 litres of juice into my body in just a day, which is hilarious because I'm sure I could have eaten a pound of bacon.

• It was hideously effective in terms of the digestive reset. Let's just say I didn't leave the house because I couldn't. This was a rather surprising impact (despite what I'd been told) and one I cannot say I enjoyed. However, I can see how it might be very useful for people who have inflammatory digestive conditions.

• I slept a lot of the day, to pass the time and because I was freezing cold despite drinking tea constantly and wearing 8000 layers.

• When I awoke, I spent hours feeling feverish and overheated.

• About midday, my really oily skin became totally tight and dry - in a way I've never experienced in 44 years - to the extent that I started slathering on almond oil hourly.

• I carefully monitored my intake of juice to protect my blood sugar (note this cleanse is designed, with nut milks having added oils, to provide protein and fat) and, nonetheless, I felt like crap.

• Today, having begun to reintroduce healthy foods in reasonable quantities into my diet, I still feel like crap.

• In what ways do I still feel like crap? My body hurts (that thing I often experience), my stomach is unsettled, my internal thermostat is off, I have a headache and I feel demoralized.

• Could all that be because it's January in Toronto and I'm me? Absolutely. But the symptoms came on quite suddenly after starting the juice cleanse.

• Are all of these things as a result of "detoxing"? I have no idea. I don't think they're as a result of blood sugar imbalance because I stayed carefully on top of that and I drank hundreds of calories. This wasn't a fast from that perspective.

• Are these symptoms potentially the result of destabilizing my system? Could be. But really, I know people who eat less food on a regular basis than I drank yesterday, and they seem to be just fine.

• Are these symptoms potentially the result of having done something out of phase with the seasons? Quite possibly.

• Were these symptoms exacerbated by my period (sorry for the TMI)? Absolutely. In fact, they may have been caused by it (and then exacerbated by the cleanse).

So, what's the upshot? To digress slightly, after I had a baby, I knew immediately that I would never, under any circumstances, relive the horror of that experience. And, look, my child is an only.

This cleanse, however, is such that I imagine, within a couple of months, the unpleasantness will have faded (much as they tell you happens with childbirth but that's bullshit, IMO). Be sure though, I will not do it again in the winter in Canada. Or when I have my period.

What did I learn?

I learned that, were I to do this again, I would customize the cleanse such that the amount of nut milk would be in the realm of 1.5 litres (to 1.5 litre of juice) rather than 0.5 litres to 2.5 litres. Also, I'd put some additional oil in the nut milks to increase the fat consumed. I need fat, people. More than I ever realized.

I'd increase the volume of green juice without sugar. Interestingly, the juice without sugar was the most palatable and it made me feel the best. (The nut milks were largely unsweetened, so they were particularly stabilizing.) I feel my blood sugar would have preferred less sweetness, in the absence of food bulk, despite the fact that all of the drinks with fruit were very well-balanced. I sense they're at their most well-balanced in a "juice as supplement" way, at least for my biochemistry.

I learned that not eating is very complicated, even for just a day, and that the thought of going without food for any reason is distressing.

I learned that changing a life-sustaining habit, even for a very short period of time, can have massive impacts on one's body. Don't take this sort of experience lightly. Yeah, I'm probably sensitive (I usually am), but I wouldn't recommend going to work under these circumstances.

It remains to be seen if this has any positive impact on my experience of pain. So far I'm in more pain than usual - which isn't the optimal direction, IMO, unless it's a temporary thing to be followed by a trajectory of pain diminishment. I have no idea what's to come.

So, there you go - Kristin's take on the most solopsistic of bourgeois acts.

I really would love to know about your experiences of juice fasting, if ever you've done this sort of thing! Let's talk.

Feast or Famine?

In case you're wondering what's up here on this day, so cold one's breath hangs in the air, I'm doing a one-day juice cleanse. Not so intuitive, the mid-winter juice cleanse, but you know how I love good marketing - and cold-pressed juice, not to mention that I really am on a mission to hydrate and diminish inflammation simultaneously.

Nothing like a day of juice, I say, to make you realize how little you actually need to eat and how much you'd prefer to be doing just that.

I'm doing Greenhouse Juice's Gentle Cleanse aka the cleanse for wusses. I'm ok with that. It's approximately 3 litres of juices (vegetable, fruit, nut) of numerous varieties, designed to assist health in numerous ways, all of which (so far) are delicious. (OK, the E3 shot was sort of ugh, but it was small.)

An undeniably terrific element of this exercise is that I had the super-heavy bottles delivered directly to my door yesterday afternoon. Not only does Greenhouse schedule delivery within a 3 hour window (one of which is 4:30 am -7:30 am), the delivery person sent me a photo of my juice in an adorable made-to-measure box, sitting on the porch, to confirm delivery. This operation kills me! Fortunately Scott was home within an hour of this or my poor juice would have frozen solid. Furthermore, and you know how I grudge shipping costs, delivery is free when you spend 69 bucks or more. Spending 70 bucks for 3 litres of juice might seem high on drugs, but you have to consider that 3 lbs of produce goes into making half a litre. Sure, a couple of the juices are glorified "water", but people, it's spa and this is Toronto and the place operates out of Rosedale. What do you expect?

I even got some stand-by juices, in case I freak out about volume. But then I drank them last night, in a pre-juicing consumption frenzy. The fast, people, it's a mind-fuck.

I opted to do this on a Saturday because I didn't want to be preoccupied in any way during the week but, man, I wish I had something more with which to occupy myself right now. Sure, I've spent a few hours making potions and, next up, some body work. But I may just have to pick up my knitting needles (sleeping since November, to give my muscles a rest) to keep my hands occupied.

So, please, keep me motivated. Have you ever done a juice cleanse? Did it mess with your mind? Have you done this juice cleanse? Thoughts about Greenhouse specifically? Do you think it's weak to think about food when you've got a constant supply of juice to contend with? Do you think it's insane to do a juice cleanse in the first place? Really, let's talk.

Yeah, I've Become That Woman

Yesterday I had the opportunity to experience the random, mid-winter breakdown of both my hot water heater AND my furnace in less than 6 hours. Both are under 2 years old and each is serviced every fall. How it's happened that multiple versions of these appliances have managed to break multiple times, over multiple Januaries is beyond me. I don't play fast and loose with the things that keep you alive in negative temperatures. To make it all the more fun, a Chinese-made motor - that's worth about 80 bucks - cost me $1000. Not to mention another 500 bucks on service and the venting for the heater. Did I mention the part where I pay $200 every fall to have the fucking things maintained?

Needless to say, I wasn't having any fun, especially when they told us we'd have to wait for the part till Monday. It was at that point that I went so supernova, righteously indignant that they promptly found the part and installed it before 6pm - that's after they'd indicated an absurd intention to charge me extra to come in on Saturday?! I can be pretty scary if you fuck with my ability to live in my home, esp. when I've determined the likely issue and given you ample time to find a work around. On a Friday in January in CANADA, you don't tell a homeowner that you can't help till Monday.

But wait. This post is about rainbows and calmness and mental health (and my final descent into the deepest state of urban hipsterness, Lord, but 1 thing at a time)...

I've been observing, as I don't drink wine on weekdays, that by the time I've gone through a bottle over the weekend (as opposed to the @2.5 bottles I used to drink throughout the week, without issue), I wake up Monday morning feeling wretched. Actually, I wake up Sunday morning feeling pretty bad but I push through. How, exactly, do I feel bad? Well, my body hurts - like my muscles (and what I used to call my muscles which, now I understand, is fascia. It's amazing how distinct these are even as they intertwine.)

I sense the issue's been there for a while but I'm noticing it more now that I've been on a hydration kick the likes of which you've rarely seen (within the realm of safety, natch) and since I've begun MELTing and Tuning Up on a daily basis. You see, I don't have the crippling headaches I used to, at this point (mercifully), but the rest of me feels everything much more keenly. I suspect this is the impact of correcting (rather than masking) an underlying issue.

Anyway, somehow over the last few weeks I've been sucked into the vortex of cold-pressed juice. You know, that stuff that costs 10 bucks for 8 oz because it isn't heat processed (yes it's raw and subject to the inclusion of potentially harmful bacteria if improperly made or stored), it's organic and it's packaged in glass. Admittedly, every jar is made up of 6-salads worth of ingredients, but man, I go big or I go home and this is big. Have you ever spent more than 100 bucks on juice in a week?

Why have I gone on this money-eating trajectory? Well, while the jury's out about whether connective tissue pain is about tissue inflammation, in addition to dehydration, I've been dealing with an autoimmune condition for a few years now that causes an ugly (though painless) skin response. It is about inflammation and the skin rash, when it flares in any given spot, can take years to go away. I'm dealing with 2 spots that have been there for more than 2 years, and other spots that arrived more recently. At any rate, I don't like to dwell on this unsightly issue, but it's become markedly more pronounced since I turned 40. You know, since perimenopause decided to kick me in the gut.

Here's the thing. I can't bear to be without my beautiful wine glass full of ruby liquid, without the ritual that I prize. But I can replace that dehydrating and inflammation-causing liquid with a beet/carrot/fennel/goji berry combo and, really, it's awesomely delicious.

I'm not just saying this. I have not been brainwashed by urban hipsters or chronic pain. I will not eat or drink gross things. I will not buy a beet and cook it. But somehow, when it's pressed into an anti-inflammatory elixir, man - it's fine.

But of course, I didn't stop there. I feel so excellent after drinking my two glasses of beet-booze (as I lovingly refer to it), that I've gone looking for all the good stuff. Sure, I swore I'd never drink green things - and I really won't drink lettuce cuz that creeps me out - but kale and spirulina are rather delightful when mixed with blueberries.

And then there are the nut-milks. Oh, these are the milk-shakes of the cold-pressed world. My fave is an almond, cocoa, mesquite blend with dates and coconut oil. It's actually oily in the most awesome way.

I've been buying the goods all over the place cuz TO is a mecca for this shit. I mean, we're like the California of the North, other than Vancouver of course. But seriously, population-wise, we're drinking much more of the stuff than those clear-skinned yogis in Van. You can't throw a stone in the central 'hoods without hitting a juice place. There's even a stupid uptown version that charges a premium on the premium because it's catering to the wealthy ladies who leave their hybrids running as they hop inside for a quick hit.

I've got some tricks up my sleeve, namely Sunshine (which looks crappy but they make great juice at the best price you'll find - partly cuz you have to bring in your own glass container and they're not charging you for the brand). They've teamed up with a place in Yorkville that nicely branded the juice from Sunshine, but if you get it there (in pretty glass, of course) you'll pay twice as much for the same stuff.

My fave place, though, for the full experience is my old vegetarian staple, Fresh. They just soft-launched a line of 12 pressed juices. They're not up on the website yet, but here's a menu I half-assedly photographed:

And here's my haul for the weekend:

I cannot begin to tell you how beautiful these juices are. My faves are 04 (an antioxidant blend of beet, parsley, lemon, kale and green apple), 05 (a nutrient-dense blend of beet, fennel, carrot, lemon, goji berries and salt) 09 (a salty/malty blend raw cacao, maca, mesquite, date, goji berries, almonds, hemp hearts) 10 (an anti-inflammatory blend of blueberry, spirulina, green apple, protein, date, raw almond), 12 (a neutral, calming blend of almond, vanilla, himalayan salt, alkaline water and 1 date - works well for breakfast).

And I can repurpose the bottles when making my potions (or getting refills of the less pricey stuff from Sunshine - that tastes just as good, even if the blends aren't as culinary as those sold by Fresh).

I never thought I'd begin to understand people who go on juice fasts, but having indulged in these delicious, filling and energizing juices and milks, I'm half-inclined to give it a try. For a day, I mean, I'm not crazy.

The question is about how I will continue to indulge this habit, even as I've cut down on the booze bill substantively. It can easily cost 150 bucks a week to drink 2, 8 oz juices per day. Right now I'm going with: It's healthy and I need to restore my health so fuck the cost. Who knows how long that'll last. Quite a while, I suspect, knowing me.

Today's questions: Do you know these places and do you buy their juices? Can you get with spending the amount of a pricey glass of wine on vegetables? Are cold-pressed, organic, raw juices your dirty little habit? Do you think I'm insane? Let's talk!