The Plain, Beige Bra Chronicles: Weird Denouement

OK, just to prolong the (uncalled for) mystery, I'm going to start this post with a sub-story and a proviso.

The proviso is that this tale ends with a Poe-worthy twist (though one that may disappoint you).

The sub-story is that I bought 3 bras on Figleaves, one of which being the Plain, Beige bra that works. Once again I was charged 60 dollars by customs - because Figleaves feels compelled to ship in boxes that catch the eye. I did not receive any meaningful discount on any of these three bras - which cost me, to begin with, $150 CDN. That's on the high-end for online lingerie, that isn't high-end lingerie. By the time all was said and done, I'd paid $210 CDN for 3 bras, 2 of which were horrible (more to come on this) and have since been returned (at the cost of an additional 12 bucks). While I will get $100 refunded for the returned bras, I've basically spent $120 bucks on the world's most basic, beige bra. And, as you'll read momentarily, one which is readily found for 50 bucks online.

The upshot, my friends, is that I am done with Figleaves.

Please do not misunderstand, the company is entirely professional and correct. The client service is excellent. The stock is huge. If I lived in the UK, I'm sure my love would continue. But there is no benefit to me, with my considerable knowledge of online bra-sourcing, to pay top-dollar, shipping and then ridiculous customs. Yeah, I know that Customs finds you on occasion. But my odds with Figleaves (either because they have a lot of profile, or because of the boxes they use to ship) puts me - and I'd hazard to suggest the average Canadian purchaser - at a real disadvantage.

But moving on...

Here's what happened. I looked online and determined that the Fantasie Elodie and Vivienne might be solid options. (In the end, I don't know which of these was less suited to me. Both had textured fabric the likes of which you'd find on a sofa. The seams were outrageous by any standards. The colours were meh. The fit was fine except one of them (can't remember but I think it was the Vivienne) was only nominally supportive. They were both ugly. Interestingly, neither was basic enough that you could pair it with non-matched undies, without it seeming totally unmatched. In no universe would I wear either.)

Anyway, at the same time - for some bizarre reason I cannot explain - I felt compelled to reorder (for the 8000th time since it stopped fitting me) the original perfect plain, beige bra:

Fantasie Smoothing Balconette (Style 4520)

Don't ask me why, you know, during the great, Online Shop Along I ordered it in 4 sizes (none of which fit as I seemed to be distinctly between cup and back sizes at that point). I also felt they'd changed the fabric slightly since the good-old-days, and it wasn't as supportive or slippery. You may recall, at this time, I found that my quite full-on-top boobs had become vaguely less so.

This bra is a challenge for many women because it requires a very specific sort of upper cup fullness (there being no seams though note that the fabric is not self-structured, it is floppy when unworn, like an unlined, seamed bra). Some women also feel that it doesn't provide enough side support.

Mind you, if it fits, it can be perfect because it really does disappear under all clothing and - despite the fact that I am totally unimpressed by the melon-round shape - it gives an awesome spherical look - and superior lift with support.

Well, I went back into my archives and realized that there was one potential size in which I hadn't yet ordered it - increased back size, increased cup size. (Note: While in the fall I was very much between cup sizes, at the moment I'm firmly into the larger of those two. And vis a vis band: While my back size seems to have gone down in many brands and styles, Fantasie definitely being one of them, this bra seems to fit quite firmly in the 32 band.)

People, this new size fit just about perfectly. Admittedly, when one has breasts of slightly different sizes, as most women do, this sort of bra is almost impossible. At least lined, molded bras (which I loathe and wouldn't wear for any reason) provide structure against the smaller breast (so you can't see wrinkling or shrinkage quite as readily under clothing). But it was back to the glory days for me!

If only it hadn't cost me $120 bucks (given that I've usually got it for under $50), it would have been perfect.

Of course, it is particularly anticlimactic to have spent hundreds of dollars sourcing a new, reliable standard only to return to the original but I am EXCEEDINGLY grateful that the original seems back to fitting me. I will admit that, on some level, this disturbs me no end, since I've seen this bra fit and then not fit, and there doesn't appear to be an alternative for me anywhere!?

So there you go. Thoughts or feelings??

The Plain Beige Bra Chronicles: Bravissimo Alana

Update: Thanks so much to Jill and Amanda and Elizabeth and Gillian and Julianne and Somisawhel for finding this lost post in her reader and saving me from having throw my computer out the window.

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I haven't even started to write this post but I can feel it's going to be involved.

The Brief Back Story: Y'all know I'm desperate to find a replacement plain, beige bra that will fit smoothly under clothing and that isn't lined or padded. Easier said than done.

The Latest Attempt: Bravissimo Alana

The Findings (to be followed by an in depth analysis of bra shape and the universe):

• This bra is terrific, IMO. It's a lovely pink beige. The fabric is very firm and not scratchy (as some others have suggested in reviews). It's not luxe, but it in no way feels cheap.

• The shape is round, but with a slight point at the apex. This is how I like my bras because, to me, it highlights a genuine form. Some people say it's pointy. It's not. It might be pointier than they prefer but, I can assure you, I know from pointy. There is a slight down-slope from the upper cup to the apex. It's not intense. I suspect that this, coupled with the firmness of the upper cup lace is what makes the bra tricky for full on top breasts. 

• It's very supportive AND very lifted. Tough times finding both of these features in the same bra, much less a plain, beige version. I am thrilled to say that these features coexist in this style. Furthermore, it brings the breasts forward on the frame, without any side sling or vertical seaming. To some extent, this is because the fabric is strong.

• It's ridiculously comfortable. Honestly, I wore it all day and it was as pleasant as could be. The band is awesome, frankly. It's thick, firm but also quite malleable. The straps are on the wide side, but not unattractive, especially given that they're nicely set on the bra. I got the 3 hooks-wide version because I sized up - and it's the widest 3 hooks I've ever worn. In smaller sizes, the band is only 2 hooks wide, but I suspect they'd be about as wide as that of your average 3-hook bra. The wings (side band where it meets the cup) are high, as is the upper outer cup. Mind you, the wires aren't overly tall, IMO, nor are they particularly narrow nor wide. It's not one of those bras that cuts under your arm, is what I mean, though some have suggested that it does for them.

Now Let's Dig Into The Fit Details (which includes info about how it fits me, specifically):

There is but one challenge for me with this bra and for me it's cosmetic. Note: This challenge - which I'm about to discuss in detail - is generally a fit deal-breaker in that it denotes bad fit most of the time. In this particular scenario, one of the few I can think of, it does not. But pls. read the deets, to understand why. 

•  Given the cut of this bra, on me, the gore does not tack. This is to say that I can fit a finger between the midline of the gore and my breastbone. This does not extend to the base of the gore. The base of the bra is firm against my body everywhere, as it should be.

You might be thinking, Kristin, a gore that floats means the cups are too small. Trust me, I've tried many a bra wherein the gore doesn't tack and it was because the cups were too small. In this case, it's because the inner upper cup/inner lower cup unit are cut slightly too shallow for my breast shape.

To wit: the wires sit perfectly beyond, even, where the gore begins its vertical rise. The upper cup is not tight - in fact, it's a bit loose on my smaller side - with a notable absence of the "quad boob" so many have experienced with the Alana. The outer cup fits perfectly against my breasts. Neither outer cup nor upper cup fullness conspire to pull the gore away from my breastbone. The gore is not wider than the span between my breasts. The straps could not be better situated for my shoulders. Honestly, this bra is FREAKIN' perfect on me in every other way.

In no small irony, this is the very thing I can't figure out when making my own bras. The minute I've got a tacked gore, the upper cup is a disaster of looseness.

I'm so taxed to understand... Whatever I struggle with in bra fit (and in fitting hand-made bras that much more), has to do with very fast projection at the inner breast, from the breastbone.

What I mean is this: My breasts are an average, over both sides, of 11.75 inches deep (measured from inner breast, where the gore would tack centrally, to the outer breast). Although my nipples are centred on this sphere (aka, my breasts do not splay to the sides), the projection from my breastbone is immediate. This isn't because my breastbone protrudes. I sense, it's because my breast root is proportionately wider than it is long. My breasts don't start high up on my chest, nor do they extend (at the root base) particularly low. This means that they don't cover much body length and yet they still manage to achieve a significant amount of depth. They go straight out, fast. In fact, were gravity not playing a role (at this point) they'd be rather in your face, so to speak.

The cut of the Alana, at the inner cup, is not conducive to this. In terms of my breast volume, the cups are more than adequate and the wire width is great. But this bra is putting that extra volume I need into some other spot. Upper cup or outer cup, I can't quite tell. Which is probably why I can't make a bra that fits. Needless to say, I've got to consider this shape carefully against my Cleos and Empreintes (which work amazingly for narrow frames and large breasts having short roots).

The Alana does not widen my shape because it's not fighting my shape. It's simply not perfectly conforming to it in one specific spot.

In my considered estimation, I could wear this without any problems - no damage to breast tissue, no potential "migration" (not that I necessarily buy into this concept), no smushing, no pulling.

But here's the thing...

I am an order-driven individual who associates non-tacking gores with problematic fit. Though you probably wouldn't even notice the gore, if I didn't point it out to you, I am all too aware of it. To me it spells imperfection. For me, a tacking gore - which, btw, mitigates cleavage substantively - is the bellwether of fit. I'm one of those people who, wearing a bra one-size too small (note: the Alana does NOT fall into this category), sports cleavage resembling a teenager's derriere. I don't like that. I think it looks cheap.

So...

I'm probably not going to buy another of these - though I sure as hell am going to wear it till I find a better alternative. A propos of this, I've ordered 3 more styles of plain, beige bra (more info to come) and I'm going to order the Bravissimo Melrose - another plain bra, this one with vertical seaming. I wonder if it will provide more inner cup depth. Of course, I have no idea whether to size up or not. Depending on (relatively few) reviews, it's anyone's guess.

Today's questions: What do you think? Will you try this bra on the basis of my review? Do you share my breast shape (size notwithstanding)? Do you think I'm an insane control freak who has stupid views on butt-crack cleavage? Let's talk!

Is This The One?

I'm so grateful for all of your recent suggestions about which models of beige bras may fit. Though my latest online purchase hasn't arrived yet, let me tell you how it's going on the hunt to find a new "plain" bra.

Thanks to an anonymous tip, I have purchased the Bravissimo Alana:

It's a bra I've read about many times, on many blogs, and somehow, it just missed my purchase radar.

Mainly that's cuz Bravissimo has always seemed to me to be like an unnecessary, expensive version of Figleaves. Of course, the one way in which they meaningfully diverge is that Figleaves doesn't sell Bravissimo-brand bras (of which the Alana is one) and Bravissimo doesn't sell Figleaves-brand bras (aka Midnight Grace, Just Peachy). To clarify: I know that, if you live in England, you can visit bricks and mortar locations of either store and get good deals on all kinds of things. I'm speaking here as a colonial.

While the Alana is a fairly inexpensive bra (£26.00 regular price - and hilariously it just went on sale today for £20, though not in beige), the £7.95 shipping seems excessive. I mean, they're just going to pop an unlined aka flat bra into an envelope which, undoubtedly, they send at a high-volume discount. When one pays overage of @30 per cent of the garment-price on shipping from a major online vendor, something is wrong. 

OK, rant over.

If the bra fits beautifully and does the (very necessary) trick, I will happily buy 3 of them at once - thereby reducing the relative shipping price considerably. 

What I determined, in the course of my research, is that the bra is apt to fit my shape well. I've also read, like everywhere, is that it fits very small in both cup and back. (Women with full on top shapes often find that the fixed-edge, upper cup trim cuts into breast tissue.) To be on the safe size, I ordered up a size in each.

I can't tell you more at this point. Will it fit? Will it be unobtrusive under clothing? Will it be comfortable? Will it give good shape under slender fabrics? Will I have to return it?! (Oh, please no!)

I will keep you posted though.

Meanwhile, any of y'all who've tried this bra - what do you think??

Shout Out To Everyone: Wanted - A Plain Beige Bra (and the Prospects are Dire)

Lord help me, I'm half considering trying to make a rub off of another bra - just to see if my recent issues are with the Lola clone specifically or with bra-clones in general. Please stop me. I don't think it would be good for my blood pressure. This scenario is made all the more challenging on the basis that, this week, I picked up SIX lingerie sewing books from the library that I put on hold a while ago - all came available at once. These stupid books are staring at me with their beady, paper eyes. I suppose there's no harm in reading them.

At any rate, it's time to return to my ever-more pressing sartorial issue:  

 

Wanted: A plain, beige bra that fits the following description:

• No thick seams (though seams are ok) 

• No lining or padding or (though molded fabric is ok - just not the kind that holds its own shape in any way)

• Preferably no lace - but if there's lace it has to be the kind with very little topography

• Although I love a pointy shape, this bra would be good in a round shape since it will be worn under slim jersey items (like wrap dresses or T shirts) which tend to match best with spherical silhouette.

• It's gotta be beige - light beige is fine, dark beige (but NOT brown) is fine. Even super light beige is fine. But white is a no go. White bras are the worst things evah, IMO.

• It must have a narrow centre gore that tops out at 3 inches max and narrow(ish) wires with deep cups. Three-piece seamed is best for this but I'm willing to experiment.

Since it's very possible I'm not going to be able to make my own, basic balconette in time to replace the one I'm currently wearing (which is no longer available anywhere on the planet - the Freya Phoebe), I have to put it out there, serious-style. Please, my internet friends, help me to fill this wardrobe need.

So that you understand, it's not that I'm lazy:

• I used to wear the Fantasie Smoothing Balconette. It was awesome till they changed the material slightly - and my boobs became a bit less full on top (ahem) - and now it's a wrinkly mess.

• I've tried the Fantasie Helena balconette but gives wide-boob and there's no lift. Mind you, it's a lovely bra. Just not for me. Fantasie bras, in general, fit this description on my frame, fyi.  Note: the Helena in full cup is horrendous. The smoothing bra in full cup is the stuff of horror. If you're going to do Fantasie, I highly recommend you stick with the non-full cup styles.

• I've tried the Wacoal Retro Chic Full Cup and, seriously, since it's mega-ugly in the larger cup sizes, it's gotta meet every other target. As it is, this may be the most uncomfortable bra I've ever owned and I don't think I've ever complained about another bra being uncomfortable. Really, I'm kind of impervious to discomfort of this variety...  Although it is extremely well-made - and it fits many other women (with different shapes than mine, and in different sizes) with more success - on me the gore is too high (and digs in), the wires are too wide (and coupled with the extremely firm band, they wrap around in such a way to cause pain). It also provides NO lift. Mind you, the support is incomparable. Too bad I'm looking for a lifted, attractive, pain-free experience. Oh, I should mention that unless you're wearing the most modest of crew-necks, the cups come up too high on the sternum to actually wear underneath anything without being visible in the most "no can do" way.

• I've tried on, in store, every plain Empreinte beige bra in existence and they all look totally drab (except for this one which is made with a slightly napped fabric, aka something with a bit of tug which may cause some slim jerseys to drag over it). All of the Empreinte seamless styles have gores that are too wide for me (and which don't tack) and the one seamless bra in cup size that fits (almost) is too large in the back. Remember, there's no "sister sizing" with Empreinte. Every bra size has a different wire size.

• I've well and truly had it with Freya so, unless someone can convince me that they've come out with something beige, that doesn't have a band 6 inches longer than it should be (and ill-fitting, not-so-great material), I'm not into it.

• Sadly, there's nothing on offer in Cleo, in beige, as far as I can tell. Really though, if I'm wrong - please advise! I love this brand.

• I won't be giving Ewa Michalak my money again any time soon. Nor can I justify ordering bras sight-unseen from any other Polish vendor - I got burned once. The language-barrier, coupled with unfamiliar customer service standards and tricky returns, is too risky for me.

• Curvy Kate, Change and Elle Macpherson are too shallow in the cups for me.

• Gossard Glossies has piqued my curiosity but I've heard that it has a shallow cup (do advise if this is not true). I also wonder if it will have enough support.

• I already own the Triumph Doreen in beige and, while it has its jolie-laide appeal, it's not an every day T shirt bra. For one thing, it's too high cut. For another, it's very thick material that can be bulky under thin fabrics - and too hot for the summer.

• If I'm not mistaken, this leaves Panache. And I've looked at everything Panache. The Tango has too much texture - I own it in other colourways. The Melody is too flattening and shallow and, with the exception of the Idina (which in no way flips my switch), I sense that brand may be out too. BTW, I loathe the Andorra.

So, there you have it. Doncha just love it when people tell you about all the things that don't work. Makes it so pleasant.

Really, though. If you have any suggestions, with the exception of 8000 provisos, I'm open.