A Little Bit About A Lot

Yo, Peeps. Much to say, not much time in which to say it. I've got a full day of yoga-doing, naturopath-visiting, window-shopping, friend-meeting, dinner-having and movie-with-subtitles-viewing. This'll be my second in-theatre film in 2 weeks. After 5 years of not seeing one. I average about 1 every 5 years so this is unprecedented. (Mind you, it is a Rohmer film from the 80s.) It's playing at the TIFF Lighthouse (the headquarters of the Film Festival which needs no introduction). I'm feeling rather urban-lady.

Lord, have you ever seen more hyphens than in the paragraph above?

I'm going through a phase of much self-reflection and, frankly, I don't have time to be all existential and bloggy simultaneously. Furthermore, I wonder if my "who am I?" posts freak people out. I mean, I'm eternally freaked out by the vast cavern of my own humanity. Must I inflict that on others? (Answer: Likely yes. But not till I can alchemize the depths of feeling into words.)

Just a few check-in things to say - which are totally disparate in nature - but hopefully include something for everyone:

• For those of you who follow me on Instagram (@kristinm100), you may be pleased to learn I got the job for which I interviewed a couple of weeks ago! It's a promotion and it's going to provide me with new experience and learning opportunities that I'm very excited about. I'm also nervous (but who isn't when she takes a new job??). FWIW, I highly recommend the Kielo Wrap Dress for interviewing.

• Right now, I'm making this sweater and the patter is SO well-written. I love the construction, which is short-row heavy (everywhere), to put it mildly. And yet, while I'm no fan of the short-row, I find myself loving them in this context. I do hope my crazy work-arounds produce a well-fitted end result. I got neither gauge, nor do I fit into 1 specific size (according to the pattern schematic). So I'm going rogue. Mind you, I did so many gauge-swatches for this thing and that should count for something.

• I've been meaning to write about this for years, but honestly, if you experience chronic pain (particularly in the back, for any reasons - but myofascial pain is a good one) you'd really do well to buy an acupressure mat and pillow. This also saved my ass when I was getting those 10-day migraines a couple of years ago. (Thank you God for their abatement). Sometimes this, and sleep, were my only recourse during that time. I affectionately call these gizmos my bed of nails and head of nails. Effectively, they work like a low-fi TENS machine. I have many modalities to manage pain, when it hits, but there is none more useful than this mat and pillow - which are so affordable that you can have one in every room (and in the workplace). They are also very durable in my experience. Those little plastic pokey things do just what you'd imagine - they stick into your back/neck/head (with a pretty good amount of force, esp. if you're not wearing anything between them and you) and they re-route the pain loop. Of course, they also cause pain - pain which you create voluntarily, knowingly - and this rather miraculously re-circuits the neurological response.* I've got a lot to say about this - and neuroplasticity, my latest fascination (and what I imagine is the future for me and pain management). I've recently been referred to a fantastic pain clinic wherein I hope to be able to apply certain neuroplastic techniques to reroute my pain response permanently. I've got new info about what may be reinforcing the pain - arthritic spondylosis, which appears to be throughout my spine and might explain why that pain moves around as it does, and then just as readily disappears. It also explains some other symptoms I've been having. Mind you, I question that the pain is being caused by this, though it certainly may be aggravating it. Many people have spondylosis (although not generally so young) and they do not experience pain. Much has to do with compression of nerves and how degeneration presents itself, but still, I'm not convinced...

• Of course, this has given me much pause for that self-reflection I mentioned above. Arthritis does not run in my family. So what the fuck is going on? Well, I don't think that hormonal change is helping the situation... Has the intensity of my yoga practice, in my teens, 20s and 30s, had anything to do with this? I wouldn't be the first person to cause structural damage with yoga (or any other form of movement). On the flip side, has yoga saved me from much worse damage? What about the miles and miles of walking I've done, almost daily, for most of my life? (I have cut back on this walking only one way to work these days, as my body currently suffers when I walk too far.) The great yoga master, BKS Iyengar always said that you are only as young as your spine - words I have lived by since I was 18. When I've written, in the past, that some mornings I wake up feeling 80, I had no idea that my spine was showing symptoms of age beyond those which my birth certificate would support... No question, I am going to use every known mechanism to reverse this damage and then I'm going to prevent it from recurring.** Even if it means I have to change my diet radically and forever. Cuz this is not taking me down.

• But finally, on a lighter note, presuming you have AC - not sure if you've heard that TO is going through the biggest heat-wave in its history (save one other, many years ago). We're actually in a drought (which somehow I dispute, because I haven't turned the water on in my gardens all summer and they're adequately green). Just want to clarify, since I complain about every weather known to man, that I fucking LOVE this. It's hotter than Hades (or India, more to the point) at 43 degrees. It's sunny constantly (though not today). The patios are actually less full than usual cuz most people can't handle these temps. I may be the only person I know who'll be sorry to see this go (in truth, I prefer 30 degrees but hot is always better than cold) so I'm going to celebrate while the sun shines. Here's to focusing on the positive. Peace out.

*Amusing side note: My husband is a total wuss when it comes to these props - he cannot lie on the mat without screeching like a baby panda. Happily, for him, he doesn't need them.

** For better or worse, you will be reading about all of these mechanisms. Traction, anyone?