Watch Word: Birthday

So today's my birthday and I'm 44. (Brief sidebar: I truly don't understand all the people who won't tell you how old they are. It's like wearing a bra that's 3 sizes too small in the cup and two band sizes too large and refusing to accept that you aren't a 36D when you get fitted. I mean, your boobs aren't any differently sized because you refuse to hoist them properly. Avoiding the discussion does not make you any less busty.)

At any rate, my point is not to take shots at the peeps who get coy when the discussion of age comes up.

My point is to tell you about the birthday present I purchased for myself this year. Note: Every year I get myself a birthday gift (actually, every year I also get myself an Xmas gift). Apparently I really like new things, in the guise of "special-occasion presents" - particularly the ones I choose for myself.

This year my choice was decided, about a month ago, when I saw Lisa's post. Gist is, she was giving away a wooden watch by JORD. This is a Swedish outfit with an outpost in the midwest, if I'm not mistaken. They make all wooden watches, using different woods and finishes, which take a variety of shapes - all verging on massive, IMO. No, I didn't win the giveaway. Neither did I expect to so I found the site and bought one 5 minutes after I read Lisa's post. As you can see, I was intrigued.

Let me tell you a little something about me: What with my delightfully slender wrists, I am a Lady-watch wearer by nature. Actually, I'm a no-watch wearer by habit because I cannot wear one without it conking out almost immediately. I have no idea why this is - I have had my watches serviced and I take good care of them - but I suspect my heart arrhythmia may fuck with the batteries. Anyway, I have the most gorgeous Baume Mercier gold watch my mother gave me years ago, this thing is so Lady it sets the fucking standard. But every time I give it a go, it stops.

It's too bad, really, cuz that thing makes me look like 2 million bucks. Seriously, it's the instigator of good service everywhere - not that I don't inspire it naturally! Alas, I'm way to practical to wear a watch that doesn't tell time.

But time marches on, as they say, and I haven't been overly impressed with my Lady-options. (Alas, once you've worn a gold watch, it's hard to shift focus.)

So I decided to switch it up 180 degrees and buy the Lady-est watch of the bunch at JORD, the Ely:

This one is made from maple wood.

It's still ridiculously substantial, but it reminds me a bit of a wooden Rolex. And since it costs about 20 grand less than a Rolex, I thought it might be worth a try.

It arrived yesterday, just in time, and it was massive. I mean, it is massive. If you like massive watches, get the smallest one and you'll be fine.

I thought I'd give it to my husband, whom it fit perfectly, until he said: It just needs a link taken out and it will fit you in the right, slouchy way. Um, ok.

So I said: How would I do that, like, right now? 

And he said: Get me that paper clip and the little screwdriver for your serger.

In 5 minutes it was done. Seriously, how the fuck does that guy know how to modify watches? It's not like he owns one. I tried to get him to explain it to me but, frankly, it was boring so I can't share with you the mystery of link removal at this time. BTW, he was very impressed with the watch construction and called it "highly adaptable".

Some things:

• The Ely is very light, but bulky.
• It's an elegant watch, even as it's not petite.
• The wood is lovely and in no way scratchy or inclined to snag. It's been finely sanded and is entirely smooth.
• I think it's well-priced for what it is. Mind you, I'm irritated no end by the amplified shipping charge to Canada. Shipping is free within the US, which is why I shipped it to my mother, and she sent it to me with some other items.
• It comes well-packaged but don't expect anything fancy.
• The instructions for setting date and time are convoluted, but easily found on the website. I can't say the little wind-y gizmo is the most precision-made thing I've ever seen. But you don't have to deal with it that often.

So now I have a sexy, slouchy watch with which to approach my mid-forties. (Note, I'll update this post later to include a photo of it on my wrist. Haven't had a chance yet...) And JORD has some fairly good free promotion, if I do say so myself.

Today's questions: Have you heard of this brand? Do you like the idea of a wood watch? Have you seen other versions? (Here's one I've found in a TO boutique.) Are you a Lady-watch wearer? Let's talk!