Thursday, June 19, 2014

Fairy Tale

Let me tell you a little story...

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful fairy princess named Kristin. Kristin was kind of a stylish princess, in the sense that she knew her own style and used that self-awareness to her advantage time and time again.

Although the princess was very rich and she lived in a beautiful castle, she still like to engage in peasant pastimes, just for fun, hence her hobbies, sewing and knitting and her extensive cache of handmade wares. She liked to display them in the Princessdom and always appreciated compliments.

Life was good.

As time went on, the princess (though she was very princess-y and always well-turned out) discovered that something odd was afoot with her appearance. She'd handcrafted a trio of magic body suits, designed to be worn with a denim, straight, slim fitting mini-skirt (also handmade). However, somehow the skirt seemed just a bit snug with the bulk of the tucked in bodice fabric to contend with. What she noticed, as she wore the outfit, was that she felt the need to tug the skirt down - something she had not been required to do in previous days. This was not a princess-certified action!

Off she went to stare into the fairy looking glass, waiting for its creepy inhabitant to enlighten her, but instead she got her answer via old-school looking. Egad! The princess was not quite as svelte - circa the navel area - as she had been in times of yore.

I mean, she was a princess still. She had pretty locks and rosy skin. She retained her bouncy demeanour and her princess-costumes were always a la mode. But something was up.

And since this princess kicked ass when it came to figuring stuff out and keeping it real, she took out her trusty tape-measure (which sang to her as she worked) and she re-took all of the relevant measurements, recognizing that vertical measurements would be the key to unlocking the secret mystery.

The sentient tape measure didn't understand why vertical measurements would be key in this instance - he was a question-asker - so she explained (also in song) that while her hip measurement hadn't changed, and her waist measurement was only notionally increased. The wild card spot was the space between her natural waist and full hip.

That, said she, was the zone of unknown terror.

In truth, it had always been the no-man's land, but for princesses of a certain age, apparently this was terrain with which to contend. (The princess remembered her mother, the wise queen, advising her of this little-appreciated fact, years before.)

It seemed that the reason that the skirt wasn't sitting in a princess-worthy fashion, was because the navel-zone had increased in circumference by an inch. In truth, this had been happening, incrementally, over the period of a year or two... It had only just become noticeable, particularly at a certain time of the month.

Happily, the princess realized that this was an easy matter to resolve. She took her trusted pattern and added a quarter of an inch to each side seam, at the relevant spot (3 inches below her natural waist), to ensure that her skirt would once again fit her beautifully.

Order was restored in the land (or at least she hoped it would be when she made a new version of the skirt - albeit with new fabric having different properties than that of the old). The princess went on with her life, doing yoga and walking to and/or from work. She recognized that body change is momentary and that she might well need to revert to her original pattern at some time in the future, much as she had adjusted to changes in her shape many times before.

The moral of this story: Wise princesses know that clothes that fit highlight natural beauty, symmetry and form - and clothes that are just slightly too small might as well be made for mice. Most subjects can only perceive poor fit, not the extent to which it is poor. So look into that magic mirror and see what it shows you. It is the key to winning your domain.

22 comments:

  1. I love a happy ending! I have a similar tale to tell about widening side seams these days....;)

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    1. Oh, so do I! And I do like to know I"m not alone...

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  2. I know of another princess from the other side of the pond, with exactly the same conundrum. I think she goes by the name of Princess Jane .... ! x

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    1. We come from many different princessdoms! But you've got better real estate :-)

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  3. Happy to hear the princess understands that clothing is just that, clothing to cover the parts that need to be covered. Nothing can mar the beauty that comes from within.

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  4. Princess Kristine has really obtained zen of fitting ))

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    1. Ha! I don't know about zen, but something approaching sanity.

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  5. I love this post. That princess is a smart lady.

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  6. I love this fairy tale!! One we should all have read to us as little girls :)

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  7. And she lived happily ever after! You are so right about fitting - when something doesn't fit, does it really matter by how much? I think not.

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    1. I really hope happily ever after is on the agenda! And it really doesn't matter the degrees, when fit is off. That's why it's so painful to look at so many people walking down the street.

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  8. i've had this fairy tale open in a window since you posted. love it.

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    1. Oooh, that's a compliment! Thanks M!

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  9. Love your sense of humor and realism! I truly enjoyed this post :)

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