Saturday, September 29, 2012

Lingerie Shop Along: An Intro

A lot of people tell me how desperately they want to buy great lingerie, but it's simply too expensive. No question, it's not a negligible cost to buy many of the lovely smalls available from foreign lands, and then to pay for shipping (my personal bugbear). But if you put some money aside and wait for a sale, you can probably make it workable to some extent. My tactic is to store a bunch of items in my favourites or "shopping bag" and wait until I find a good promo code or sale. That's when I pounce!

People are always asking me about my lingerie stash and my shopping methods so I thought I'd suggest a strange kind of undertaking - an online lingerie shop along. What's that?? Well, it's a way that I will assist you, hopefully, in improving your lingerie wardrobe (in terms of fit, function etc.) based on my own (numerous and intense) experiences.  You don't have to participate at any specific time - though, no time like the present, I say. If you choose to participate in some way, I'd so appreciate it if you'd tell us about your experience in comments - or on your own blog. Owning lingerie that fits is empowering because it's foundational.

On a more practical note, my feeling is that it's relatively stress-free to undies shop online - and so much fun so...

Let's Go (Online) Shopping

Provisos (I should probably just have a legal disclaimer at the end):

1. This post is to provide you with information about how to buy lingerie online, from reputable sites, not specifically to satisfy whims (though I love whims), but to meet needs. The method is based solely on my own experience. I recognize that my definition of need, when it comes to lingerie sets, might well be different than yours. That's cool. I think, for what it's worth, bare basics "needs" include perfectly-fitted versions of the following:
  • 2 neutral bras in your skin tone. These should be seam-free or with minimal fabric profile for maximal use
  • 2 black bras - One basic, one sexy
  • Neutral and black undies (I recommend that they match in colour, even if not part of a set, the bras above) that fit perfectly in as many styles as you actually wear. I wear thongs, shorts and high cut vintage style lace undies. I'm not big on "briefs" so I tend to give them a miss.
  • 2 bra / undies sets in patterns, cuts, colours and styles that THRILL you. Trust me ladies. You'll wear them. And everyone will appreciate it.
  • A strapless bra in black or neutral (you may not wear it often, but when you need it, you'll have it)
  • A body suit with built in bra. This will serve you well more often than you imagine when you need a smooth line under fitted knits.
  • A good bra designed for exercising (the kind you actually do). Runners may need something a bit more robust than those who do Pilates...
Yes, this is bare IMO. But it will do and you can build it up. Note that your size may change over time, so this is not a one-time purchase situation. The premise is that you review your lingerie wardrobe every 6 months or so, and restock as necessary to ensure that fit is superior. 

2. Not everyone is comfortable shopping for underwear online. Um, hello, these things have to fit perfectly and there's no way to try them before purchase. However, I think we can agree that I am a fit-aholic. And that I don't have a tiny bust that can get away with anything. I still manage to online bra shop rather successfully on the basis that the sites I use have very good return and reship policies. I'm also willing to return things (on my own dime, admittedly). That costs approximately 8 bucks for a set. So, I'm betting on the fit, but I'm willing to absorb that extra cost as necessary. You can't win if you don't play. Trust me, the money you'll save in the long haul - and the quality of merchandise you'll be able to find - more than makes up for a few disappointing returns and reorders.

3. Costs I've incurred, which I'll refer to in my posts, will include all shipping and taxes but not customs. I am rarely charged customs from the UK (where I generally purchase from). I'm dinged on the customs more often than not when I buy from large companies in the US. It's one of the reasons I don't shop online from the States if I can help it. (Example: The yarn I bought from WEBS was on mega sale and yet I was charged an extra 35 bucks at the border. Given the time I waited (2 weeks to 1 month) and the amount I spent on customs and shipping (vs. what I would have paid in a LYS), I might as well not have bothered. Live and learn.)

Start as You Mean to Go On

Go to your lingerie drawer right now (or when you get home from work :-)) and ditch whatever is a) crappy or b) too big or small. If you love a garment that doesn't fit, put it away in a nice, dry spot where it'll be easy to find when and if your size does change. If you morph 3 cup sizes in a month, then make sure all of those sizes are represented in your current lingerie drawer. Axiom: If it doesn't fit and you don't wear it, it's not a valid part of your current lingerie wardrobe. For example: If the only strapless bra you own is one you've had since you were a tween, it's probably time to say goodbye.

Dare I suggest that it's a total waste of time to feel bad about ditching things you haven't used much or to be hateful of yourself for any reason. I'm a bit tough-love, in case you didn't know that about me. Just ask my mother. Keep in mind that you're taking an important first step to improve. Celebrate with a glass of wine while you work. And give the bad-fit bras (only those in perfect shape, obvs) to your best friend or sister or the person you know whom they'll actually fit. Big time note: If you're embarrassed to give them away (I'm talking bras here, not undies which are not regiftable), by all means chuck them faster! Why on earth would you keep those things around?

So, today's questions:
  • Are you in? (At least in concept?) You can always start the search for great new things even if you don't have the cash to purchase right away.
  • Do you already bra-shop online or is it a radical concept in your opinion?
  • What kind of shape is your "basic" lingerie drawer in? What does basic mean to you?


24 comments:

  1. I'll be an enthusiastic follow alonger but I'm not in only because I'm more of a Hanro girl personally :) But I've made lingerie for others as gifts and it's actually not difficult, it basically uses heirloom sewing techniques. I don't mean to bogart your blog post but it's fun to make and a nice change from regular garment sewing. There are lots of great silks and laces available on line as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. P: I'm happy to talk about bra making all the time! You know that StephC is talking about that in some depth on her blog lately. And I'm not sure how long you've been visiting here, but I did make a bunch of bras a while ago. Mine turned out very nicely, if I do say so myself. :-) And I even (very slowly) got to the fit I was looking for. Alas, none of the materials I've been able to source are adequately supportive for the size and density of my breasts. At a certain point, one needs a lot of engineering. So I think this is a great idea for someone who's not larger than a 34D (in terms of overall breast volume - so 32E, 30F, 36C etc.) Once you get past this point, IMO, it's dicey.

      If you can tell me where I can find wires of the quality and great fabrics having the stability that Freya uses, you know I'll try again!

      Delete
    2. Actually let me ask Ann that underwire question (Gorgeous Fabrics Ann) because she might know. She's a serious student of bra technology and fit (she can tell you where the Queen buys her bras)

      Delete
    3. Oh, thank you. I'd love to know her thoughts. And, I think the queen buys bespoke from Rigby and Peller. Am I right?

      Delete
  2. I am amused that your list of "basic needs" has about three times as much everyday lingerie on it as I have ever owned in my life, and is therefore mostly baffling (and I'm an H cup, so it's not like I'm very petite and can leave the house without a bra, either.)

    That said, I think there is an important category missing from your list for a great many women: well fitting bras suitable for whatever sports/exercise they take part in, if any. The right bra can make all the difference to how comfortable you feel when exercising. Generally a fashion/everday bra is not supportive enough even if you're doing low impact exercise like yoga, but especially if, like me, you run. (I go to extreme lengths to compress my boobs when I run, though, which involves wearing multiple layers of bras!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG - you are SO right! How did I forget this category? I blame it on my stupid cold. I will update the post now. Thanks!

      Delete
  3. 1. Yep, for sure. Certainly for following along and figuring out what I'd like.
    2. I've never shopped online for bras unless you count patterns and supplies.
    3. Terrible, just... awful. I helped my husband on a film shoot and they used some clothing I put in a donation bag ages ago as props. It was surprising to see them because it was that long ago he took them. Bras were part of that and I sadly was looking at them thinking they were in better shape than what I have. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woohoo! I say, all of your bras should be as fantastic as you!

      Delete
  4. Well, you know I'm in! Since my lingerie wardrobe is basically in good shape, I'm going to focus on a few basics that probably need replacing and some fun new sets!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fabulous! There's nothing like having the option to refine - you know you're in the bra big-time when you start doing that. :-)

      Delete
  5. I'm definitely interested! I've been shopping online for bras for years - Auckland has only one shop that regularly stocks my size, and their price is higher than online + shipping + customs + exchange rate.

    What I've currently got isn't too bad, but I'm open to suggestion as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Terrific! Isn't it crazy how expensive these things are at the shops? I don't know how stores stay in business. Except I guess that mark up is doing it for them. I have a post on cost coming up.

      Delete
  6. I might be in. I just did a bra re-boot, bought 3 new ones, and culled the old/ill-fitting bras. I'm small but still find it difficult to find beautiful/fun lingerie (though at least finding the boring nude/black stuff isn't too hard).

    I was about to bite the bullet on my first online bra purchase, found the exact color and style I wanted but of course online only. I was able to try on the bra (band size only) in a local shop, and wouldn't have ordered from her but sadly the color I want is from this past spring. But but...

    Then I discover that the knickers are sold out in my size (maybe, depends entirely on fit, which the website doesn't address, and other websites give conflicting size info). And so now I'm stuck - do I order this (yet still full price) bra and knickers, or just the bra or do I wait it out for another color I like when I can get the full set (maybe just order black from the local shop).

    And now you mention customs - crap how do I even go about estimating what that charge might be? (Shop I'd order from is Canada, and I'm US) Do I opt for the extra tracking charge cost?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK, you should definitely join the fun. I have a post going up tomorrow about various online vendors which should be quite helpful. Is it Butterfly that you're considering ordering from? Email me about the brand and size and maybe I can help you source it... I wouldn't opt for tracking, but each vendor works differently. I've actually had a package go missing and the vendor replaced it promptly and without any difficulty.

      Delete
  7. What a fun idea! I'm out for financial reasons, at least at the moment, but happy to read. It may make you happy to know that I've been nosing out 32Cs when I can find them and getting a MUCH better hit rate than I ever have with my "standard" 34B. They don't all fit (some are even a bit small!) but the ratio of fit-to-fail is much better and, most importantly, the underwires are wide enough. Yay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear you, but keep in mind that you may - just as you're following along - discover some great deals that won't break the bank. I suggest you undertake the exercise up to the part where the buying starts. That will position you perfectly for Xmas gift requests or to buy a special something when the excellent sales begin. And so happy to hear about the 32Cs! I still believe you'd be very happy in a 32D, but I'm sure one will find you soon.

      Delete
    2. Taint-Isis, I have quite a few 32D bras that no longer fit. They are H&M and slightly padded and in a good condition. The D is on the smaller end, and they come with removable padding. Would you like them? Let me know and I can to email you via your blog. I am in the US so shipping would be easy.

      Mona

      Mona

      Delete
    3. Mona: This is incredibly generous! I'll email Taran to make sure she sees this...

      Delete
    4. Mona, that's an amazing and generous offer, thank you so much! Please email me (tanitisis at gmail dot com) and we can work it out, if you truly don't mind shipping to Canada.

      Thanks!
      T

      Delete
  8. Well, I won't join in cos I'm not feeling rich right now lol.
    I've never bra shopped online and it freaks me out. I have a VERY hard time getting anything to fit me in stores so I'm really afraid of all bra shopping.
    However I really do need to make it a priority because all my bras are either HORRIBLE (no exaggeration), or they don't fit. It's very sad..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course, I totally respect that. But as I say, best to be prepared so pls. do follow along and feel free to bookmark bras. No one's making you buy them!

      And you are a gorgeous woman who needs at least a couple of bras that you don't find sad and horrible. Maybe, as you see the stuff available, and the prices, you'll find that there's a little wiggle room in your budget. xo

      Delete
  9. Oooh, I am totally following along with this. I don't have the budget to buy quite yet (I need to focus on paying down some debts - SUPER close, though!), but it'll be nice to have a stock of what I can get when I'm ready in a couple of months :) My bra stock currently consists of 1 patterned, 2 black (one which doesn't *quite* fit perfectly), 1 nude (that can also be strapless - I wear this one the most, love the fit!) and 1 white that hardly fits at all (it's really here as a placeholder until I can find a replacement). And my underwear collection is very sad... I seem to have grown an ass that my underwear can no longer accommodate haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, stay tuned for tomorrow's post. You may learn something that will speed up your process a little bit :-)

      Delete
  10. Wow thаt ωas strange. Ӏ just wrote an extremelу long commеnt
    but after I cliсkеd submit my comment ԁidn't show up. Grrrr... well I'm not writing all thаt οver аgain.
    Anyway, ϳuѕt wаnted tο saу excellent blοg!
    Here is my website ; Black Mold Removal

    ReplyDelete