I have a lot of goals today. Goals that are competing with my headache and cramps and making me feel like curling up in a ball. Then there's the fact that my kid threatened to run away from home yesterday, because she's grounded and I wouldn't let her go to an after-school event. I do realize that, when your kid texts you at work to tell you she's running away - and she's actually at home having followed your initial edict not to stay at an event - chances are it's a bluff. But we'd had such a nice time on Thursday - a whole 12 hours of mummy-baby happiness. I don't know how to manage my anger and disappointment. Part of me realizes she's a hormonal mess without the life-skills to manage. But what about consequence?
It's her 12th birthday on Monday and I've spent all week searching out and buying her great new things she'll love (not cheap, natch), planning the cake she asked me to make with special icing, planning a shopping trip and dinner at a very nice restaurant and a trip to the movies. Furthermore, we went out for dinner on Thursday and had a great time, got ice cream, came home and did a spa. (Her hair, when occasionally clean, is the silky, thick, fluffy stuff of a shampoo commercial.) We had all kinds of real conversation. It was like a made-for-tv movie.
As the adult in this equation, I don't appreciate her behaviour. But as a human being who just keeps trying and trying and trying - who's been dealing with the tedium and challenge of parenting this child at all the stages of development - I'm tired, disappointed and my feelings are hurt.
That's all I've got, right now.