Monday, May 10, 2010

M. Butterfly

I think there is a special place in hell for whatever cosmic evil invented '80s anthem rock. It's likely the most horrifying musical "sound" on the planet. Which is why I find it so hilarious - and I'll deny it if you ever run into me at a party - that I just downloaded Mimi's version of I Want to Know What Love Is. You know, it's that horrendous song by Foreigner. (I can only hope y'all are too young to remember the original.)

Perhaps I have little recourse since I'm referring to Ms. Carey by her self-proclaimed nickname circa 2005, but honestly, you listen to the cover and then tell me if I'm nuts.

Brief Sidebar to Patient Reader: Please forgive me my semi-constant lapses into old-person, I remember when-isms. I appear to be having a pre-40th birthday "embrace the future" (the far future) moment. Regular, utterly youthful Kristin will return at an undisclosed time and location. Wearing a bikini!

But back to the topic at hand, Mimi manages to elevate a truly horrible song, with her invincible squeakitude. And some kick ass production. I hear she executive produced the majority of her latest album. So good on her for knowing how to make her wrecked (if genetically blessed) pipes sound terrific. Admittedly, she's got a really good gospel choir on speed-dial.

I guess that doesn't hurt, huh?

I tell you, I've always been in her camp. Whitney Houston just bugged my ass from Day One.

I'm happy to see her in a (seemingly) sweet relationship with that child young man she's married to. He does appear to love her, in addition to the lifestyle. C'mon, she's got some serious assets, she's not ashamed to flaunt. And, instead of fleeing from embarrassment, he's all out there praising her hotness and re-taking his wedding vows. Way to encourage self-expression.

As far as I'm concerned, Ms. Carey is a sartorial train-wreck. I am always amazed, amused, repelled and shocked by what she wears (or doesn't wear) on the latest red carpet. But I get the impression that's who she is, as far as she's concerned and, if you're not buying in, then you can fuck right off. I respect that. And a pretty tight song.

The woman's a professional.


  1. LOL! Love this post. I am sad to say that I am old enough to remember Foreigner. I even had their albums( yes the old timey kind).

    I wonder how Mariah is going to dress in 10 or 20 years from now. I hope that soon she finds sartorial salvation. Maybe the choir could give her some advice about covering up some stuff.;-)

  2. I've never been a fan of her originals, but Mariah does a decent cover. I'll give her that. However, I'm deeply anti-Foreigner and afraid to listen to this one. No matter how much you love it. ;)

  3. Oh no! Foreigner... pls. stop! Almost as bad as REO Speedwagon. Almost, but not. Yeah, isn't Mariah married to a teenager or something? But, it seems to work for Madonna...

    I kind of agree that she(Ms. Carey) is a train wreck, but she just "let's it all hang out." Whitney on the other hand, is a train wreck trying to hide it!

  4. I'm sorry to say I am old enough to remember Foreigner as well, and I had (still have in fact) their first four albums. I listen to them occasionally too as there is just something about the music of one's coming of age that brings out the inner youth.

    I thought Foreigner was slipping by the time that song came out and did not buy the album. .

    I'll listen to the cover, Mariah does a great cover, although I think her originals are inconsistent. I'd have to say the same of Whitney Houston although I've loved her first album from the get-go.

  5. I always remember that song (yeah, I'm old enough) because it closed a telethon I performed in as a kid.

    The Foreigner song I have a soft spot for is I've Been Waiting For A Girl Like You (can't believe I'm admitting that).

  6. Funny post! I love your take on MC. I'm embarrassed to say that I love Foreigner's version better. Sorry but it's just like Justin Timberlake said, it's one of those songs you sing (or scream) in private with the music blasting in the background. It's cheesy but oh so passionate LOL! But one song I do love of Mariah Carey's is "I Can't Live". Man, her rendition makes the hair on my neck stand on end!!! She's definitely got some pipes:)

  7. Oh boo-hoo! I just sang Rachel's part on our take on Glee's version of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin!"

    Amusingly, way back in 1990, MC's first CD was the first CD I ever bought. But now she trills waaaay to much for my taste.

  8. Bel: The thing is, she could be a lovely woman! Enough with the swimsuits as daywear.

    Sal: Go crazy - live on the edge :-)

    Stacy: SO true! It's all in the attitude. Technically, her husband is 29. So I guess it's not child abuse...

    Mardel: Hilarious! I do think they were slipping by then!!

    Raven: OK, I'm with you. That is def their best song. But I'll deny it.

    Victoria: This is a place where you can be yourself. :-)

    Miss C: DOn't you think she's always been trilling? Of course, the more she abuses her voice, the harder it is to listen to the trills...

  9. I love the original song record of "I want to know what love is" song. And yes, mariah did her best to that song. =D

    The Brown Mestizo

  10. I think it's that the trills were new in "Vision of Love" and now I have "Fear of Trills" every time she opens her mouth. . .

  11. oh, i remember all of that awful music!

    and you can have both MIMI and whitney! BLEH! lord how i hate that music.

    and nick and mariah. HOLY HELL, i am so glad i am not involved in that marriage! and her clothing? she is one of the worst dressed women in show biz, for sure. yeeikes! but she seems pretty pleased with herself, so good for her.

  12. i have mixed feelings about Ms. Carey...but i am certain that she wears clothes about 3-sizes too small. i dream of finding her a stylist!
    xox alison

  13. Jules: You are hardcore!

    Miss C: Fair enough...

    Janelle: You spurn them both!? Bold, woman.

    Alison: I dream of being her stylist :-)