Closet Case

In case you think I'm joking about everything in my wardrobe being some shade of blue or grey, behold my current closet:

This includes summer hangables on the left side, my only aim at colour. That weird pants hanger came with the place.

In addition to this, I have a chest of drawers (could we not come up with a less arcane way of describing this furniture? Is it 1682?) for yoga clothes, lingerie (a huge component of the wardrobe), jammies, sweaters and skin care components (what? that's totally normal). My current bras are no longer fitting, due to loss of inches, and my rainbow of other sizes is packed up in the house being renoed. Like, behind a boarded-up door. So I'm not being minimal on the bra front. I've already had to order 3 new sets. :-)

I've never been a true minimalist. I don't throw everything away if I haven't worn it in 5 years. Some things only get worn every 5 years. But y'all know I'm not a hoarder in the remotest sense. This recent move was an opportunity for me to pack up only the most relevant (as I saw it) clothing for 3 seasons.

Now, all of you (fortunately) living in California (and Italy and Australia etc.) likely do not understand what 3 seasons really means - esp. if one of those seasons is winter and another is "spring". In short: It means a shit ton of clothing is required because you never know when it's going to snow, pour with rain. sleet or hail, be 40C in the shade, have wind gusts of 100 km an hour or be hot/cold (an interesting TO phenomenon wherein it is both hot and cold simultaneously and for which it is impossible to dress) for days at a time. There is NO fucking way to predict the weather here. To wit: Yesterday, as it poured relentlessly for 10 hours - the kind that trashes your shoes in a minute and potentially kills the cherry blossoms in High Park for the second year running - I observed an hour of wet snow flurries. People, that's not ok but that's how it is here. Our trees are still bare, if starting to green. We've had a reprieve from the months of gray but that goes as fast as it comes and then the most terrible melancholy rises to the surface. We all feel it. It's a cultural phenomenon as distinct as this weather pattern. When I say that people in TO go insane when the spring (sort of) hits, I'm not joking. We're a people in the grip of unknowable, but miserable, weather for fully half the year and by March we are done. Note: Since we rarely experience storms that cause millions in damage, we don't see a lot of air play. But this weather is spirit-crushing. Read any Ontarian blog from early March to mid-May and you'll see what I mean. That's when we full-on lose it.

I own upwards 10 coats - all of them are still in regular rotation. This doesn't include the rain gear.

Anyway, long diatribe aside, I decided to use this move as an opportunity to experience my inner-minimalist. I only brought half of my clothing. In truth, I recycled 50 per cent of the other half because I do that occasionally...

If you check out my IG, yesterday I did a bit of sale shopping. Now, if you know anything about this move (which we did ourselves, like college students?!, because my husband would not relinquish control), you'll know that we do not want to bring back one thing more than that with which we originally moved. Except an 80 lb espresso machine.

But my current 2 pairs of denim leggings are both too baggy and frayed at the inner upper thigh. My staple, a striped T shirt, needs seasonal replacing as those really get worn to shit.* My "lounge" wear has become hideous through overuse. I wish that those Gap crew T shirts weren't out of stock everywhere, including online, because there won't be another shipment till after the summer, according to the SA. And, on that topic, OMG people. We need readily available long-sleeved t shirts all year long! Everywhere in the world. How can they stop making these in February??? M and I have been sharing a pair of rain boots for a year because I gave my Hunter wedges away (too heel-like, too heavy). Then our shared pair died. I went all out crazy and bought 2 new pairs because, hey, I figure the rain is never going to end if I don't. Also, they were so on sale I couldn't believe it.

Short story: I have thrown out the ratted T shirts (they have holes!), the frayed leggings, the rubber shoes with tears. And I replaced them all-too conservatively. Partly cuz I don't want to have to move shit and partly because I couldn't find the requisite number of t shirts for lounging and sleep.

On that topic, since I cannot shut up about it, I went to Kit and Ace to seek out other Ts and there were some fantastic options. They cost 148.00 CDN before 13% tax. Sorry, I can't do it. Not for a T shirt I'm going to wear to watch TV. No high-street store had anything remotely useful. Nor did The Bay?! I'm actually feeling T shirt-drought anxiety!

So, today's questions: Is everything in your closet the same colour? Can you tell me where the hell to find a fitted, hip-length, crew neck, long sleeved, black/grey/navy T shirt at this time of year? (Under 40 bucks before tax pls! I trash those things.) Am I the only one who still has denim leggings in rotation? And, if you live in southern Ontario, how's your mental state at this point? Let's talk.

PS: Last day of vacay here, and what a truly necessary and health-affirming holiday this has been. I do hope I'll have the opp to continue to post more regularly once I return to work because, really, I love this space...

*FYI, while I have no use for J Crew (so bland, so badly made), they've come up with a short-sleeve T shirt style this year that is extremely flattering given the cut and fabric. I do recommend you try the style. The sleeves are longer than others (half way to elbows) so if you like arm coverage, this may be the T for you. I really like the neck-line and length. Size down. This knit fits large given a copious amount of stretch with great recovery.

On Track

Yesterday was gorgeous. Sure, today it's pouring with rain but I cannot begrudge that (esp. given that it's normal "springtime" in TO - the ugliest season of the year!). Yesterday was as gorgeous as two weeks of constant, driving rain are hideous.

We went walking, of course. This new 'hood, while on the cusp of fancy, is also on the cusp of industrial. Basically, if you walk 2 blocks in one direction you get mansions and if you walk in the other you encounter a wasteland. Serious wasteland. But the sky was so pretty that even the factories looked good.

This was our destination in the Junction:

Somewhere in TO I've never been before!

My husband went to pick up a synth he'd had fixed. Usually, he fixes them for himself but the instrument in question is very complicated so it went to the professionals.

It took about 45 minutes to get there from here. Along the way we walked some distance on Geary Ave. This place is so ugly, right across from the garbage-strewn train tracks, and yet there were people sitting out on benches and on makeshift folding chairs. Somehow this place is totally "happening". (Also, Torontonians in spring are sort-of crazy and I'm not being glib.) You will find the most niche, most awesome artisanal shops of the coffee and booze variety along this desolate strip. When I walked by Blood Brothers, on the way back from the synth shop, it was lively with people drinking flights of beer and having crazy snacks. I almost wished that I liked beer because I could tell something special was happening. Happily it wasn't a wine place or I would have got lost there for the afternoon!

Apparently, this derelict section of town - and no joke, peeps, it's freakin' derelict; in the rain it's like the worst slum imaginable - is apparently rather niche. It's where they host memorable raves in some of the boarded up buildings that are, no doubt, unsafe. Aren't you happy to be introduced to the seedy underbelly of this frankly unattractive city?*

But the coolest part of my day was discovering a level train crossing?!?!? I didn't even know we had these in the city. Other than in the Junction proper, this is the only one I've ever seen. I walked down an unknown street and there it was! (Note: For me to walk down a TO street unknown to me is a tremendous thrill. This happens to me once every 5 years, maybe. Guess I need to get out more!)

You may say, Kristin, that photo above - where the train is coming at you - would have been tremendously dangerous to shoot. And you would be correct! But this isn't as it appears. First up, Scott's the one who took the photo and he did so after the train stopped, unexpectedly due to work being done on the tracks. But, what was totally crazy, is that, mere moments earlier, as we we were walking across the crossing - just like regular humans out for a day in the industrial park - the lights started flashing and the gates came down as we were ambling over the tracks?!?!?!? Honestly, I had no idea a train was even coming until I looked down the path and there it was. How those gates didn't hit us in the head, as they descended out of nowhere, amazes me. Trains, people, they come upon you suddenly. Now I see why we have all of those elevated tracks. Note: while the gates may have killed us, the train was nowhere nearby, despite how close it looks - it's an illusion. We couldn't even hear it.

PS: WTF are level crossings doing at the edge of a population-dense neighbourhood with children and pets??

Today's questions: How do you define beauty (of the geographic variety)? Does rain make you happy because it predicts buds and cleans the streets? Do you find grey-grit heartwarming (in the way I can only find that feeling in the sun)? Oh, and how about this question: Are there places you would never consider living only because of the weather, or do you think those who fuss about weather are, well, silly. Let's talk!

*I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this on the blog, but I have a theory that the reason southern Europe is so fantastic is 90 per cent due to the weather (though, admittedly, that's my bias). Have you ever watched a Euro movie where it rains all the time? It's freakin' ugly, despite the (sometimes) gorgeous architecture. This is one of the reasons I couldn't acclimate to Ireland (pun intended) and why I left boarding school in England as a teenager. I don't care how awesome something looks in the sun, if it's depressing in the rain, to me it's depressing - especially if it rains most of the time. And, so, my friends, Toronto is ugly - even as it's one of the most awesome places to be from May to October. Of course, it lacks the enticing pedigree of all of the Northern European rain-zones, but then, apparently I'm not living here for the weather or the history.

The Five Ds

Nothing like being woken to the crash of ice falling from your roof. It actually sounds like part of the house is disconnecting which, given the reason for my upcoming reno, is off putting. (Note: the back of the house is in no imminent danger of falling down - but homeowners woken to crashing noise are apt to freak out for a second or two.)

The elephant in the post is that there's freakin' ice falling off my roof and it's practically April. I wish I could say this is unlikely. I wish I could say that we didn't just have a stupid fucking ice storm (not severe) wherein it was dangerous to walk to the streetcar, never mind to work. I wish I could say that the phone lines were up again - in only because we have IP television that totally doesn't work going into the weekend. I wish I could say that we've seen something other than dull grey and brown in the last week and a half. I wish I could say that when we saw sun a week and a half ago, it was for longer than a day.

I realize these posts are ubiquitous at this time of the year, but honestly, late winter weather in Toronto - alright, most of Southern Ontario - is hideous. It has all the detractors of English weather (trust me, I know, I lived there) - horrible damp that cuts to the bones, and encourages many kinds of pain. It has all the detractors of northern weather, if intermittently: snow, ice, consistently frozen temps. But it loves to hover at a temperature that combines the utter worst of both. Toronto sits at the nexus of several competing weather forces which results in weather patterns stalling overhead - the occluded front, as they say. The result is constant dull, dank, dark, damp and DEPRESSING. Sure, we're protected from many extremes, but the price we pay is weather "solitary".

If you live in Winnipeg, God help you in winter, but at least you have a lot of sun. If you live in Vancouver, you've never seen the sun so you don't know what you're missing - but you can wear your cute yoga outfits year round (and they're waterproof) - not to mention that it's freakin' urban-nature at its best. If you live in Montreal, you live in Montreal, so stop gloating and eat a bagel. If you live in NYC, you're bound to get a hurricane now and again but your spring starts a month before ours and you see the sun. If you live in North Carolina, it's been nice since late February.

Right about now I hate-envy everyone who doesn't have to go through this, which I realize makes me small.

So - peeps who also live in places where the weather sucks for long stretches: How do you handle this? Moreover, where do you live (cuz I want to stay the hell away)? How do you justify slogging through year after year. FYI, I never book winter vacations to warm places because the idea of returning to Toronto, only to go back into weather misery, is too wretched to consider. Let's talk!

PS: This isn't the time to tell me about your crocuses. :-)

Lunch at the AGO

M told me that she would "literally kill me" if I posted this selfie of us lunching at the Grange:

What can I say, I live dangerously.

I want you to know that I am 45 years old and I'm not wearing a lick of makeup. And I look just fine, thank you.

We walked home and managed to spend a bunch of my money at the OVO store. It was so warm that I had to take off my coat. This is one of those days that keeps us all from killing ourselves before spring because, for 4 hours, there's actually bright sun in the sky at an altitude that one could construe is overhead.

We saw this crazily chorophylled evergreen on the way and I liked its vibe:

Thank God for these glimmers of ease.

I Don't Know if this Counts as Doing Something

This weather is turning me into a crazy-person. It's so fantastic that I feel like I'm actually on holiday - like somewhere fantastic - and it's bringing out my spend-instinct.

Having said that, I do love the spend-instinct - especially in others. Last night, out at my friend Hilly's for dinner, she had so much fun looking at my new loot and listening to my shopping exploits, I wanted to charge her a little fee :-) She told me the fee was dinner, and to get the cheese plate from the dining room table.

I decided to go out mid-aft, just to look around in the shops and to people-watch. My, was the watching good. There were chic ladies in embroidered caftans (like we live in Palm Beach), trophy ladies in bandage dresses (like we live in Miami Beach), young ladies in bikini tops (um, seriously? like we live in freakin' South Beach?). It's so bizarre when the weather warms up here. People lose all sense of proportion. And by that, I do mean that most of those outfits were too small.

I felt so dull wearing jeans, a stripey top and and a black waterfall sweater. Sure, I was over-dressed for the heat (I was going to be out well into the night so I needed to plan for the temp drop), but I default to outfits for October. Note: I did wear my orange bag and my Arche sandals (purchased in Eur last summer) and, by nightfall, I looked entirely adequately mid-May. Other Note: I realize that those sandals are hideous in that photo (see link above), but on one's foot, they transform. I swear! Plus, it's like walking on a cloud.

Anyhow, can you blame me for feeling drawn towards Anthropologie? That place is like summer in 5000 square feet. Every time I ask someone at work where she got her new, cute item X, and she replies "Anthro",  I'm intrigued. But I never purchase at this shop. It's too boho for me. The set up is too crowded (so a lot of cute items aren't readily visible). It's also, dare I say it, it's a bit "young". I mean, how many shoulder buttons and sleeve ruffles can a girl wear to the office?

Mind you, the shopping goddess was on my side yesterday. Also, I was in it for the crazy so I tried on everything in the store. May I just reiterate, this place would be much better if it took a minimalist approach. Garments inevitably look crappy when there's no white space.

I got these pants (which cost more in Canada):

They're so NOT me. But I'm getting sick and tired of what is me. (You know how that happens...) So I'm branching out.

I also got this top, which totally is me:

I bought it in black, because almost-white grey makes me look dead. But this colour shows off the beautiful line and drape of the garment.

Then I ambled over to the Gap - cuz who doesn't want to mingle with the entire universe, frenzied by the chance of half-price shorts, all at once? Note to People: They're cheap to begin with. Don't smack into me like it's Filene's basement on Boxing Day!

I found this dress, on sale for 30 bucks??:

Weirdly, I'm drawn to black right now - a shade that rarely impresses me. What does impress me about this dress - and frankly it looks better on me than on the gorgeous lady above - is that it highlights all of my slender toned bits (neck, shoulders, arms, legs) and you cannot begin to guess the state of my lower abdomen. Or whether I've eaten BBQ in the last 2 hours. Plus dessert. It also looks great with skinny jeans underneath - a look we have more use for in Canada, than that depicted above, at least for 9 months of the year. Also, in case you're thinking - wow, that's short! - that woman is approximately 8 inches taller than me. But it is a short-ish dress. Show off your legs, ladies, that's what I say. One other thing, in case you're interested in buying it online, the sleeves are quite snug. I bought a small, after trying an XS. The two sizes fit the same in the body (hello sack!) but the arms were notably snug in the shoulders and arms in the XS.

When I took it out of the bag to show Hil, she was momentarily horrified and could not believe that there might be a chance in hell that it would look anything other than horrid. (I will warn you that it looks ridiculously bad on a hanger. Those are the things I secretly enjoy trying on. There's so much potential for excitement.) But I put it on and she was shocked - in that way I love to shock people - and agreed that's a perfect basic.

I followed this up with a cocktail at the Holt Renfrew restaurant. I do love sitting at the bar and chatting with the peeps. I had this hilarious-named fresh juice called Holt's Happiness, which is marketed to rejuvenate and "youthen" the drinker, what with its composition of beet juice, acai, grapefruit etc. Naturally, I directed them to booze it up; with a bit of vodka and Cava it was a delight! I felt both youthened and aged at the same time! Gotta love a neutral.

After a bit more window shopping, I picked up some double-cream blue cheese, hopped on the subway and went to Hil's. And what a beautiful evening it was.

Behind the Times

I estimate that spring is three weeks late this year, a very hard delay given that we've gone through two freakin' winters from hell. Mind you, I'm no longer skeptical that the summer may one day arrive, even if we're still wearing light coats in May.

My garden, finally, is making an appearance:

My dwarf lilac tree - a week from bloom (I hope!)

This is one of my OTG Krissie-planted house hyacinths. It's the only one that the squirrels haven't eaten!

My rose bushes LIVED! Given that they were planted last summer - and that so many plants died over the winter - this is a good sign...

For those of you in, well, anywhere else in the world, I realize this progress is small-time, but please join me in celebrating this profound turn of events.

OTG Krissie

Oh, the glory of blue skies and warmth! This morning, emboldened by gorgeous weather, I forced Scott to go for breakfast at this really popular place a few blocks away. We arrived at 10 am and got the last table. By 10:10 am there was a line around the block. The food is terrific and it's not pricey. We downtowners know the deal. There was fresh squeezed grapefruit juice, smoked bacon, terrific multigrain toast with tons of butter, sausage, perfectly cooked fried eggs and potatoes (the crunchy ones, not the soggy ones). Not a piece of lettuce to be seen! Alas, the coffee was swill. Had to hit up the Coffee Pocket on the way home. At which point I was ready to roll.

I bought 2, very generous, extra orders of house-made pork sausage (the patty-kind) to turn into Bolognese. Also, there's some nut milk to be blended. I'm working on package-refinement and labels for the skin care. It's a productive, if scattered day. And given that I have no idea what awaits me at the office tomorrow (I refuse to wreck things by looking at my email), I'd better enjoy it.

While sitting at the restaurant this morning, it occurred to me that I was wearing my own deodorant (man, this stuff works AWESOMELY!), body oil, face serum and a new, handmade Liberty-print T shirt. It made me feel so truly capable.

In case you worry that I'm short on imagination, I have this (not so) secret alter-ego I call "Off The Grid Krissie", OTG Krissie for short. She's the woman who makes potions while drinking herbal tea. Her kid's placenta is still in the freezer, 15 years later. She reuses the tacky residue at the base of heat-sealed lotion tubes by cutting the tops off. She replants the hyacinth bulbs in a special spot in the garden after the potted flowers have withered (no, none of them has taken - the squirrels eat them). She's this close to keeping bees, you know, to save the world. She wants to buy a sheep farm.

Look, I realize she's a marginal element of my personality continuum. After all, I hyperventilate and scream piercingly at the sight of a spider and I've been known to lose it during a 20-minute power-out. (What? Where were you in August 2003?)

But I'm a creature of many facets and I won't apologize :-)

Today's questions: What's your favourite alter-ego, of late? I'm curious to know - is (s)he high or low? How do you express your different sides?

Urban Scourge

Where do I start. I'm going to make this brief because I've been up since, well, yesterday. If you ever think to yourself: I so wish I lived in a bohemian urban neighbourhood in a large city, let me disabuse you of the glamour.

These fuckwit morons, living across the street, (and I know this sounds incredibly prejudiced but I'm SURE they're renters) have been hosting parties (should we call them live-music concerts?) that start at exactly 2 am.

You read that right. I now go to bed at 9pm on Friday nights, in the event that I'll be woken on the nose of 2. Cuz you never know when it's going to happen.

I've got the police on fucking speed dial. Alas, last night they were too busy with actual emergencies to get here before daylight. The party was still happening at 5:30 am.

And the worst of it: They blare fucking House. OMG, I've hated House since I've had words to describe that droning, misery of a torture they try to call music.

You'll have to forgive me. I'm mentally screaming right now.

But wait, it gets better.

I decided, like the increasingly old-person that I am, to get my ass up and actually do some work. And by work I mean sewing. I mean, what's the point of lying in bed, freaking out about how I won't have any energy to craft tomorrow, when I can just get started.

All was well - I'm bizarrely focused at 3 am, apparently, after 5 hours of sleep that ends at 2 am - until the hugest fucking scary insane monster of a centipede came out of nowhere and started 30 minutes of active terror-warfare.

You should know that I am legitimately phobic about insects. I have been since early childhood. I've even had behaviour therapy to help me with the issue cuz, bugs, they tend to be everywhere and I find it hard to function knowing that. I can tell you about numerous experiences (some closer to now than I'd like to admit) where I was traumatized by discovering a particular insect. I check my sheets before I go to sleep and I live in freakin' Canada.  (Side bar: Parenting has done more to help me with this phobia than anything else because my urge to ensure that my kid doesn't feel afraid has insprired me to keep it together in the presence of crawlies. Over time, I've been able to model her calmness.)

Hilariously, my husband is all hippie about killing insects. And by hilarious, I mean WTF?!? We have this gizmo that traps them and then he releases them back into the garden. Great.

Anyway, last night, well, at 3:30 in the morning, as I was listening to a house-thumping litany of stupid dance music, I was also trapped in the sewing room with the biggest fucking prehistoric-seeming bug of all time. And I was trying to throw things at it so that I could either kill it, or just move it out of the sight-line of the door. Those things are particularly good at avoiding rulers and boots.

Eventually I trapped it by the ironing board and ran to get Scott (praying that it wouldn't scurry somewhere else in the meanwhile). To say that Scott (who could, himself, barely sleep through the music but is very live and let live - apparently) was not impressed at being compelled to deal with a centipede in the middle of the night, is a small understatement. To his credit, he didn't much argue. He knew it was pointless. Somehow, he managed to catch the lightening-fast bug in the re-release gizmo, on the first try (even he was amazed by this) and that story, she was done.

I have no energy right now to tell you about V1027. Do wish me luck.

Meander

Photo courtesy of High Park Nature Centre

Thanks to Anabela for keeping me posted on sakura hanami (cherry blossom viewing). Check this out for more information about how to enjoy some spectacular Toronto scenery.

And for Tessa:

when cherry blossoms
scatter…
no regrets

by Kobayashi Issa (1763 - 1828)