Yin and Yang

I'm having one of those times in life that's relentlessly busy. It's also stressful, in a certain way that hits me hard - my endurance is being tested, and simultaneously my ability to stand at the precipice of change. Yeah, I know we're all being pushed and none of us knows what's coming next. But for me, that confluence of feelings is tough.

Since I haven't got much to say on the craft front - though I do have some knit-sewing, basic projects up my sleeve - why don't I bore you delight you with a little update on the New Regime. It's quickly becoming simply "the regime". The shiny sparkle of novelty has faded. Happily though, my commitment has not.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have a practice to support me at this time. That practice isn't always the essence of conscious engagement. It sometimes suffers from my extreme tiredness at the end of the day, or my full-body muscle spasms re: the fun that is hormones. I inevitably follow it up with a glass of wine and, often, a treat. But hey, I'm doing it and I know it's keeping me sane. So let's raise a glass (and eat a bowl of chips) to that.

From the vantage point of shape-evolution, I wouldn't say I've slendered much more in the last month - mind you, I haven't lost any ground. As far as I'm concerned, that's ok. This transformation is a process and I've got time.

Truth is, I've also got a lot of cortisol running through my system lately because my job is flat out. What I do requires the ability to process and analyze large volumes of complex content quickly. Then to provide advice. Thereafter begins the potentially arduous (but worthy) time of negotiation. Simultaneously, I write a lot of documents and brief at a bunch of meetings. There's no acceptable margin of error and the pace is constant.

Those of us prone to the adhesion of fat at the midsection (the apple-shaped for want of a better term) are particularly susceptible to the impacts of cortisol. I can definitely feel, after a week of mega-stress at work, increased puffiness and a decrease in awareness in my abdominal region. No, that's not fat, but it's a warning sign and it's one I'm taking seriously.

As per usual, I walk to and from work daily. Moreover, I'm now practicing yoga 5 times a week. Would it help if I cut back on the nightly glass of wine (and half bottle on weekend days)? Um, sure - from the vantage point of continuing to slim - but I think my mind would be in way worse shape! Wine-drinking is a delicious, sensory experience that improves food and takes me from the stress of the day to the welcome calm of the evening. BTW, I do the yoga first, natch - and while it moves me from the stressed state to one of increasing tranquility, it's no substitute for the mood-alteration technique that is a glass of Chianti. (Note: My bet's on my mother calling me when she reads this post, just to ensure that I'm not descending into alcoholism.)

But let's talk more about the Regime...

• I have stopped doing "gym fitness". I really hate machines and bright lights and weights. I gave it a good try, and I'm sure I'll try it again in the future. But it still doesn't work for me.

• I have also stopped going to yoga classes the gym. Those classes were a means to an end, as I knew from the get go. While they are safe, and social - and while they enforce infrastructure - they are not "taught". They're also not adequately challenging. I sense the need to work more intensively to gain the kind of cardio-fix my body seems to crave. And, truly, my knowledge of yoga asana languishes in those classes. Sure, we're all beginners in the classroom, but I want to explore my body in a wide range of poses - not the 30 one encounters over and over in the average, mid-range vinyasa class.

• So, although the gym is a thing of the past - and thankfully too since it's fucking crowded and you can't swing a dead cat without running into people you know - my practice is happily ever-evolving. I have researched yoga studios that are known for small class sizes and new formats. I've begun to visit a couple of those to take a weekly class.

• I also practice in my home studio on 4 other occasions per week, averaging an hour each time. I either devise my own sequence or, when I'm very tired, and would prefer to be told what to do, I do a My Yoga Online class. This isn't my first foray into My Yoga Online, but the format really has improved dramatically (and it was a good resource to begin with). The site offers hundreds of classes - and new classes are added weekly. (Note: I always try to preview each class I intend to do, once in advance, because I practice without my glasses so I can't see what's happening on the screen. This allows me to weed out the practices that don't suit and to discover new teachers and sequences I prefer). The advanced classes are hardcore. The intermediate ones can be pretty hardcore too. And this platform favours the yin method (in addition to other styles though, alas, Iyengar is not represented). I'm going to do a post on Yin Yoga sometime soon but, in brief it is an excellent adjunct to active practice (which focuses predominantly on the development of muscular strength and balance) to improve flexibility and mindfulness. Especially given the extreme muscle and fascia tension I experience semi-regularly, as a result of hormonal shifts, I find it incredibly useful to practice in this style once or twice a week. Please note: Though it is sometimes classified as "passive", I do not recommend it for beginners. This style is very confrontational and it presumes a baseline of flexibility and structural body awareness. It is also quite distinct - though I didn't realize this before I started practicing the method - from supported practice in the Iyengar style. Both are very useful, btw, but they're not working on the same things in the same ways.

People have asked me lately how I don't get side-lined the minute I walk in my front door. What I'll say is this: I do not make dinner (if Scott doesn't cook, we forage - and that includes my kid). I do not listen to messages. I do not tidy things up. I do not talk to anyone. I wash my face, put on my yoga gear and walk into the yoga room with my computer. If those with whom I live try to talk to me, I answer them monosyllabically. If they ask me to do something, I tell them no. 

The only way to prioritize one's practice - at least if you work full-time - is to put on a shield of selfishness. I can only urge you to become comfortable with that construct if you lead the "modern life" and you don't want to fall apart from stress and/or get fat.

On that topic, you'll notice my blogging is less frequent and it may remain this way until December. I LOVE to write, but it takes time. And the less time I have to do the things I love to write about, the less I have to say when I do have time to write. It's a circular scenario, apparently.

So that's where I'm at right now... I'd love to know if you work-out at home and, if yes, how do you keep yourself on track? (I need pointers! Full-time working mothers, your experience is particularly welcome...) Have you tried the Yin Yoga method? If yes, what are your thoughts on it? Do you find that work stress contributes to abdominal puffiness (wine consumption notwithstanding)? Is this my own personal experience? Let's talk!

To Feel Well is to Be Well

Vanity's all well and good, but when it comes right down to it, I don't know if I'd be sticking to this New Regime if I weren't feeling so much fucking better on exercise that it's ridiculous.

Of course, my body is often sore and I'm constantly reminded of how much I allowed myself to lapse, but exertion is having a palpable effect on many of my recent struggles:

• My cycles have lengthened by 3-4 days to bring them back into the distant realm of normal and the "hemorrhaging" is much less extreme.
• I'm less puffy.
• I have more energy.
• My heart arrhythmia (which isn't terribly affecting but certainly makes itself known) is quieter.
• My mood is improved.
• I'm much stronger.
• I'm much more flexible.
• I feel strangely younger (not that I'm old...) - more vital, more agile...

I would have said that my headaches are less frequent and severe but I don't know that this is true. I've been dealing with a hideous one for more than a week now...

You can see why I'm throwing in the towel on just about every other discretionary activity in my life to continue on this path. Cuz, Lord knows, it's not improving my social life.

Mind you, it is a creative undertaking - even if there's no new dress at the end. Yoga brings out my problem-solving nature big-time. It tests my ingenuity, my ability to work in ways that create new pathways of communication within my body. And, really, there are few things that I love more than a good feedback loop.

But what about you? Today's question: What's the single most notable health improvement you've gained from exercise? I want to know!

The New Regime: Two Months In

So, I've been doing this lifestyle improvement thing for a couple of months now. I do have a lot to say about how I've changed from the vantage point of health and how I feel. But since I'm the first to admit that I'm hardly doing this for the good of my health, this post is a brief run down of how my figure is adapting. (Yes, this is superficiality incarnate. Feel free to skip this one... It's not exactly an opus.)

I'm one of those people who tends to gain weight gradually and evenly. There are obvious pluses to this tendency. Evenly distributed extra fat is easy to disguise. Alas, left unchecked, inevitably one wakes up one morning and looks kind of larger everywhere. It's kind of reverse analogous to that 100g skein of Abrazos I'm always nattering on about, the one I'm using to knit the Karner Wrap. I swear, I can knit for HOURS with that yarn - hours over DAYS - and every time I reweigh the skein the scale does not budge. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the weight of the skein drops by 10 grams in an instant. Who can understand these mysteries??

Sidebar: I find it hilarious that I will not weigh myself (because I find it without merit) but I weigh my yarn obsessively. Obsessively.

At any rate...

A couple of months ago I took my measurements. It wasn't because I wanted to document them as a starting point of the New Regime. I constantly take my measurements to assist me in sewing. I noted however, on taking those measurements, that they were more robust than they had been in the 5 years I've been sewing. Which may have predisposed me to freak the fuck out and check out the local gym. Or maybe I was just having an enlightened fitness moment. I'll let you decide.

As you know I have no issues writing about my measurements - look back in the archives and you'll see numerous posts in which they arementioned  with nary a care. But that was to support a discussion of sewing. I feel, honestly, bizarre posting about my measurements in the context of how I look and specifically in the context of how I'd like those dimensions to decrease. It seems a bit crass, no? Furthermore, when I discuss those dimensions in the context of wanting them to decrease, am I sending unintended messages to others about their own shapes? I mean, seriously, even though I seem never to post new photos of myself, there are actually hundreds of pictures of me (as recently as 2 weeks ago), scattered on the blog, taken over the last seven years. It's not like my appearance is a mystery. 

In the interests of science, I've decided to share the info, though it goes without saying I am my own particular shape and size, and numbers are just useful from a relative perspective.

My "pre-Regime" measurements were: 34" upper bust, 38" full bust, 31" under bust, 31" natural waist, 35" lower abdomen/high hip (above hip, below natural waist - where most of my fat lives), 41" hips. Didn't bother with arms or legs. 

Note: Each of these measurements was between 1-2 inches higher than it had been 2 years ago. I opted not to go back in the notes farther than this because I didn't think I'd like what I'd see. In full disclosure: I was 3 seconds from getting my period when I took these, and it was about 5 minutes after I returned from the food-fest that was Europe.

After 2 months of 60 minutes of yoga (which is mainly what I've been doing) 4-5 times a week (in addition to my 5ish miles of daily walking as transportation), my measurements are currently: 32" upper bust, 37" full bust (mainly from increased tone in my back), 29.5" under bust, 30" waist, 34" lower abdomen zone, 40" hips.

While no one's said: OMG, you look so fantastically toned and svelte like an actress in the movies!, a comment I've heard a few times is: You seem kind of smaller. Not thinner - smaller. Cuz when I lose mass, I lose it like I gain it - a little bit at a time, all over. And truthfully, despite my massive personality, I'm a slight-boned, short person. I am kind of small when I get back to basics.

FYI, I'm pleased with the trend. I'm not as toned - or as small - as I hope to be in another 2 months. But it's a move in the right direction. 

I do want to focus for a second on what I've been doing on the mat - just to clarify that I'm working pretty actively:

• 3, 60-75 minute active yoga practices wherein I move constantly and with an active core (vinyasa, power, flow, modified ashtanga)
• 1-2, 60 minute moderate to restorative yoga practices (focus on forward bends and supported back bends)

Why, specifically, has this been effective to date? I really can't say. I'm certainly not eating less food. In fact, I'm loath to tell you that I've actually gone back to drinking booze mid-week. (What? I like booze and I have a teenaged daughter!) Maybe it's because I'm building lots of muscle mass. Maybe it has something to do with the endocrine-support element of yoga practice?

I do believe that I am experiencing these gains efficiently, with yoga, because my body is adapted to practice. My body knows how to move (even if it's not at its strongest). I am able to balance challenging postures with breathing which enables me to stay in those postures for a long time. I also have an entirely new perspective on practice - I'm doing it differently (an entire subject unto itself - but the gist is that I'm working less hard).

In terms of how I look (never mind the numbers): In my own opinion, I am definitely more toned. It's most noticeable in the upper abdomen, which has some nascent muscular ridges peaking out from under a layer of fat. I also see it in my arms and back. I've lost most mass at the under bust which means my band size is back at 30. I'll be fishing some bras out of the cupboard soon. It remains to be seen if the cups will also fit... I suppose if there's anyone who must restock the lingerie, I'm not a bad candidate. :-)

So, there you go. Anyone else on a New Regime? What have you noticed about changes in your own body? Are you a tape measurer, a scale-user or one of those who simply uses her eyes and clothes as evidence of change? Let's talk!

Yoga Asana Vs. Yoga (Or a Primer on Intention)

This summer, mediocre weather notwithstanding, has shed a crescent of light on certain segments of my life. If you're wondering why I rarely blog about knitting and sewing these days, please be clear, it's cuz I haven't got the time. And I haven't got the time because I'm spending most of my energetic hours expending energy on exercise.

I knew this would happen. I told you I knew this would happen. This shift is something I resisted for two years. I did not want to change my ways, my pace. I did not want to confront encroaching fears of illness and age. Cuz one thing's for certain, when you have lived through an acute illness (and that's how I think of pertussis), and you're inclined to be afraid of what you cannot control (especially when germs are involved), there's a lot of stuff to avoid. 

Not to mention, I love the meditative mindset and the creative, productive outcome which are the gifts of crafting. I love being with my brain that way. I love the stories it affords me. So I'm at a bit of a loss right now. I feel absolutely engaged but uncertain about how to express myself. Because what I'm going through "on the fitness front", in lieu of activities that are easy to describe, is not naturally communicable.

Let me say right now that I hate the terms "fitness" and "exercise". I find them entirely reductive. I prefer to suggest that I've undertaken the valiant work to affect meaningful mental, psychic and physical change by committing to awaken all the cells in my body. (Yeah, it's not exactly a gym-spin.)

For sure, the last three weeks have helped me to further hone my go forward plan. I simply don't intend to jump up and down on a regular basis - unless it's in the context of yoga vinyasa. I see no point in it. I've tried it again. I still don't like it. 

For me - and of course I am speaking only for myself, as any activity is wonderful if you love it - jumping up and down is compressive and it dulls my awareness. I know about the runner's high (theoretically, of course) and I applaud all of you who chase and find it. Dance fitness can bring a similar elation, I hear, especially for the choreographically gifted amongst us. 

Would it surprise you to learn that there is an equally elusive yogic euphoria?

What asana practice also affords (and much more frequently), presuming you approach it in accordance with a clear fitness outcome, is more aerobic intensity than you might ever care to encounter (I'll expound on this below) and a delicious amount of weight-bearing exercise. You don't need hand weights, people. For better or for worse, your entire body is a weight.

I've spent the last six weeks rediscovering that there is nothing of the gym (weights, machines, aerobic and core classes) that you cannot accomplish equally well with yoga. Or to put it more assertively: You can most definitely achieve weight-loss, optimal cardiovascular fitness, excellent tone and all the mental perks of exercise with yoga.

Though, be aware, when you "do yoga" with those intentions, you're not doing yoga*. You're practicing yoga asana (a sequence of postures or movements). You're exercising. Which is why I will keep referring to this lifestyle regime as a fitness program for the time being.

There are provisos when it comes to employing yoga asana to get fit, toned and to lose weight:

• If you're going to use yoga as a primary method of fitness, you have to do it in a certain way. I don't mean a specific method (though vinyasa and Ashtanga are usually the ones that come to mind) but the practice has to be of a particular physical intensity. It's best to include a good 45 minutes of arm-balances, strong standing poses and back bends. Inverted back bends are particularly useful. Another 15 minutes of seated and forward bends are recommended. Many yoga methods just don't offer this type of practice. Many places don't teach that way. And even though there's much fitness to be gained in learning poses, you're better able to achieve a specific outcome when you have body memory of these poses and a certain physical aptitude (see below).

• It is absolutely possible to be a complete beginner to yoga asana and still use it to achieve substantive fitness outcomes. To wit: 25 years ago, I went from a place of non-fitness to extreme fitness (in my late teens, admittedly), using only yoga. And it wasn't even the goal of my practice. It was a by-product?! But you have to be capable of spending minutes in individual poses that require equal parts - and reasonable amounts - of strength, balance and flexibility. If you're not naturally inclined, that proficiency can take a long time to develop. If you are extremely committed to practice, and you do it 4-5 times a week, actively, there's no reason that you can't use it as your primary form of physically-transformative fitness. So if you hate jumping up and down, and you love your local yoga class, be your own guinea pig. But be smart - don't push yourself or you may sustain significant injury.

• Sadly, you will have to sweat. A lot. (But you'd have to do this with any kind of exercise, so let's not blame asana.)

Moreover, there's something to this fitness development thing that, till recently, I'd never consciously understood:

The development of fitness (by which I mean optimal muscle tone, loss of fat, heart muscle benefits etc.) relies, to some extent, on the destabilization of the person getting fit. Needless to say, I do not mean destabilization that would produce an unacceptable likelihood of injury. I do mean, however, (and why not speak for myself) that there is no way right now that I, devising my own practices, could throw myself off kilter adequately to reattain my former level of fitness. When I know what's coming, I know how to back off. I don't mean that I forgo particular poses - but I do find ways to do them less intensively. The element of surprise makes my asana practice an adventure. Being amongst others (and this is a double-edge sword, no doubt), makes me accountable. 

Again, this ain't yoga. It's just the kind of fitness I can get with.

What is yoga, my friends, is actually getting there: Every time I cringe at the thought of touching a prop (yeah, my gym has a yoga studio that's totally stocked with props), and then I touch the prop, I'm doing yoga. Every time I find myself too close to another person, pulled from my energetic centre by that closeness (but then I recognize what's happening), I'm doing yoga.  Every time I fade into the background, click into a gear where ujaayi breath moves my body from one pose to the next, feel the distinctness of muscle, bone and connective tissue, I'm doing yoga. 

I've got a lot to say about this - about how differently I feel physically and mentally, about how my breath has changed, how my body has reopened a channel of communication - but I think I need to leave it for another day (if only to retain a reader or two).

Now, off to do some sewing for a change. Those crafts aren't going to make themselves. 

* The essence of yoga (which is achieved by a variety of mechanisms, or an eight-limbed path, one of which is physical postures) is to yoke body and mind with breath. Patanjali defines it, in the Yoga Sutras, as chitta vritti nirodha or "stilling the fluctuations of the mind". I'm in no way suggesting that one cannot find yoga in everything, including all kinds of exercise, but it is not the primary goal (nor is it generally taught to those practicing yoga asana to improve the look and physical form of their bodies). It may take a lifetime to truly understand how breath control and yoga postures unite to produce a mental stillness - active meditation. I'd prefer not to conflate this pursuit with bendy exercise, though bendy exercise is still delicious in the absence of the yogic mindset.

I should also say that it's fairly impossible for me to practice yoga asana for fitness, without moving into the gear of yogic meditation - especially as my body redevelops strength and rediscovers balance. So, even as I'm practicing asana to achieve a physical outcome - and in this respect it is exercise - my body and mind have chosen to reconnect at a deep level, a phenomenon for which I am exceedingly grateful.

Regimen

For someone who swore she wouldn't bother you with info about her fitness, I sure am interpreting that promise broadly. See, I've been up to this for 3 weeks and it strikes me I should tell you how it's entirely different than I thought it would be. This really is Solipsism 101, however, so do feel free to click back tomorrow for something less painfully "all about me".

What I'm Doing: You can see this post for a review of what I aimed to do before I began the New Regime.

As it happens, I have been going to the gym 3 times per week (@60 min each). Why? Well, it's not actually as horrible as I thought it would be. Sure, it's summer and the living is easy, but it strikes me I should habituate to the best of my ability before the bad weather sets in. Also, the classes I've opted to do aren't overly crowded (but they are well-attended).

I'm also practicing active yoga at home twice a week (@45-60 min each). Those practices have been more active than restorative because I'm trying to re-establish my muscle strength (while maintaining flexibility) to build on the work at the gym. If I'm feeling mentally lazy I do a couple of online yoga classes back-to-back (free ones from Yoga Journal).

At the gym, instead of doing cardio machines (which I've used a few times), instead I've gravitated towards the classes. I like their interactivity and the fact that they're in a separate, more quiet space. My goal is to try them all (and there are like 60 variations on a bunch of styles). So far, I've done yoga for one of those gym sessions each week. Why? Well, if I'm going to try them all, I might as well start with the ones that don't scare me. Also, I'm very intrigued to see how gym yoga has evolved in the last 20 years. (Natch, I have a post-worth of info on that which I'll bore you with another time.)

In addition to yoga, I've also been taking the classes that focus on core strength and muscle fitness. I just don't love jumping as much as using my body as leverage. However, I'm pleased to tell you that those muscle-based classes are VERY cardiovascular. I leave with rubbery muscles and covered in sweat (ugh, but I tolerate it).

You might be thinking: Kristin, you still seem to be doing more yoga than anything else. Yeah, well what of it? I'm also doing all the walking I used to do (nothing new there) but I'm systematically adding in some new stuff, approached in a style I can manage. It's a start. Point is, I'm doing much more active fitness than I was a month ago.

What It's Doing For Me: 

Let me start by assuring you that, if you're a person struggling to manage your regular life and all of its bits and pieces, you can add the gym, or some other kind of regular fitness you enjoy, without it sucking up every last bit of energy you have. (Time, well that's another matter entirely, I'm afraid...)

The reason for this, as near as I've been able to determine for myself, is that you use a different pool of energy for fitness than for other pursuits. As an analogy: Imagine that you "pay" for your regular life in cash (let's not suggest we're using credit, people!). The energy for the gym is "paid" by, let's say, an energetic debit card (still energy you own, but of a different format). You replenish the funds available by engaging in your activities of choice. Then you live off the proceeds while you're going about your day-to-day.

I'm amazed to say that I don't feel more tired doing all of this activity, though I am freakin' sore. But it does cut into the time I have to do other things and I'm still coming to terms with that.

But never mind the preamble, what differences can I see or feel?

• I am stronger, more aligned and more flexible, which is very enjoyable. I've been so weak and exhausted since I had pertussis. This enlivens me.

• I have a bit of observable, improved tone in my upper abdomen and backs of legs/lower derriere. I assure you, it's not going to get me my own reality show, but a couple of people have commented.

• However, the main difference - and it's pretty notable - is in how it's undercut the symptoms of my, ahem, menopausal journey. Mercifully, my headaches are being well-managed by a couple of hormonal precursors (prescribed by my naturopath). But the epic that is PMS is playing at a lower volume in the last few weeks. I am far less bloated (it's almost all worth it for this reason alone), less prone to night-sweats and hot flashes. It's too soon to say, but it might actually have some impact, eventually, on the hemorrhagic aspect of my cycles. Of course, so will full-on menopause :-)

So there you go, three weeks in and worth doing.

I should say one other thing, since you'll note I haven't discussed whether I've "lost any weight". I deliberately didn't step on the scale before I started this exercise and I have no intention of doing so at any time going forward. IMO, scales are reductive and I don't understand the obsession with them. They don't tell you if you've lost fat (unless you have a fancy one and even then, the jury's out), they don't explain how you've gained muscle. They cannot advise you (like a simple tape measure), whether your waist is an inch less large.

I have eyes and clothing to tell me whether this regimen is having the intended external impact. And so do we all...

Today's questions: Have you recently begun to exercise hard? How are you feeling? At the gym, do you prefer the cardio or the muscle-tone classes? Are you one of those scale-watchers? Is there some hidden benefit to the scale, in your opinion, that I just don't get? I wanna know.

Yoga Adultery

A long, long time ago - like in the early 90s (?!) - the Ashtanga method of yoga came to town. Formerly, it had only been available in happening centres like NYC, London and Santa Barbara. But it did arrive in TO in fairly short order, this is that kind of city, and I remember the moment when first I heard about it.

I was a strict Iyengar practitioner at that time, a teacher. To go to another studio - to learn another method was like fucking around. A similarly renegade yoga friend conspired with me to attend one of the first classes at the studio on Spadina Ave., in the fashion district. Back then, it really was a fashion district (in the manufacturing sense of the term) and the studio was in this hideous, hole in the wall factory space up a creaky flight of stairs and down a long hallway. I was totally midtown back then so you can only imagine my horror. I spent the meditation intro looking for bugs.

It wasn't too long, however, before things got into full swing and I had no chance to think about anything other than my body in motion. I was mesmerized by a practice, the likes of which I'd never done before. It was a scandalous sort of yoga, to my mind, as theretofore, I'd  been indoctrinated in a method that espouses structural (re)alignment, and long-holdings over everything. It was so fast, so free, so relentless (in a different way than Iyengar), so grungy. When I finished that class - and there were maybe 5 of us in the room - I was lighter than air. And nauseated. I had never sweated so much.

Don't misunderstand, it in no way compromised my love of (and belief in) my first method - if anything it entrenched it more deeply. But I was young and monogamy was hard to do. I secretly began to take a weekly Ashtanga class.

Over time, when the method became popular, my (non-teacher) friends would ask to join me. Sure, said I, I love a yoga companion. Inevitably they would lose it half way through the class (and I should clarify that these were very traditional ashtanga classes, not the hybrid kind that one sees everywhere these days). These women were fit, but they were not yogis. I saw near-injury more times than I care to remember.

Around the same time, someone in the yoga community told me about this crazy video that had been released by Crunch studio - a yoga video! I read a review in Yoga Journal. I was intrigued. I secretly bought a copy of it for my VCR. It cost a fortune as it was imported from America. I watched the video. I tried the class, with guilt - I mean, it was a fitness video pretending to teach yoga. I was pretty uptight back then.

Here's the thing. I didn't hate it at all. I was all ready to judge it, but it was a fascinating little class. Please note: It was in no way yoga! Sure, it was called "The Perfect Yoga Workout" but it was more of an homage to yoga through a fitness lens than anything strictly yogic. There was much talk of breathing, and very little instruction about it. The poses were rarely named, much less in Sanskrit.

As I watched the video, it came to me. This was the perfect segue from gym-yoga to ashtanga. (Y'all know it's always the gym-goers who want to take up the yoga known for burning the most calories.) It was perfect, not because it inculturated anyone to any kind of yoga, but because it moved through many of the required poses and even introduced vinyasa sequences of sorts (though not the Ashtanga ones). It did this quite intuitively. The instruction was clear (if light on yogic specificity). It was safe, unlike your average ashtanga class for your average class-doers. That was unusual back then (and maybe it is now too?). It was also challenging, if not really challenging.

The most egregious thing about this video was the way the (very sweet and adorable) teacher pronounced the word "forward". In any given yoga class, that word is used 100 times, and every time this woman said it incorrectly (foe-word), I got a little bit more hostile.

From then on, when a friend asked to come along with me to Ashtanga, I'd lend her the video and suggest to her that she do it twice in a row (that's about 75 minutes or 15 minutes shorter than an average level 1 studio class). If she felt entirely comfortable with all of the actions and the pace (which is on the moderate side, IMO), if she didn't sense that she had struggled with the flexibility/strength ratio, then it struck me she'd be ready for the physical aspects of an ashtanga class in principle. In truth, you need much more strength and flexibility in an actual class, in my experience, than you'd ever need to do that video. But it was a better indicator than, say, a gym yoga session or, worse, a step class.

You may be wondering why the hell I'm telling you this.

Well, I've been looking on the interwebs for crazy fitness videos to (theoretically) do at home and, quite accidentally, I came upon The Perfect Yoga Workout on You Tube. Like for free. The world has change so much, Fitness Seekers! It had been years since I'd thought about Sara Ivanhoe, the instructor, but I was instantly compelled to try it again.

And, you know what? It hasn't aged badly! Of course, the word "forward" is as problematic as ever it's been, but maybe that won't upset you.

If you're wondering whether you should try a studio Ashtanga class, or how (if your fitness life is on a non-yoga track / you're of a certain age) you could incorporate a bit of vinyasa at home, try this twice in a row and see how you feel:



And of course, please tell us!

A Blog By Any Other Name...

A few of you have commented, or emailed, to let me know that you actually enjoy hearing about my fitness exploits. I find that amazing (though, of course, I try to write engagingly about all the topics - even those about the drab things) because, on my blog travels, I tend to tune out those sorts of posts immediately.

I do not read fitness blogs. When I considered starting my own blog, 6 and a half years ago, I weighed my subject options carefully - yoga or fashion. I went with fashion because, despite my love of yoga (and my great respect for it), it doesn't strike me as the liveliest subject for a blog. I don't regret my choice. Of course, over the last 6.5 years I've realized that I can just write about whatever the fuck I want and call it "lifestyle". Can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

The last decade has seen me through numerous personal shifts (what decade hasn't, really), which is why my fashion blog became a sewing and knitting blog and sometimes it's a travel blog and other times about interior design and food. Things that are relevant get written about. And I suppose, the New Regime is relevant inasmuch as I seem to be committed to it, if only out of vanity.

So, I suspect I will occasionally turn my attention to the topic of my gym experience, not to bore you with the specifics of how I've done some unpleasant exercise, but to accurately contextualize my life.

On the flip side, you may note a lack of posting about sewing lately. That's because I haven't done any. Vacation was followed by the need for an extra rest. When the weather is good, I'm gardening and sitting in the shade. After last winter, I'm not fucking around: Make hay while the sun shines, people. Happily, I can knit while sitting in the shade, which is why you continue to hear about that. I realize that I made a whole summer plan, and I'm the kind of person who sticks to the plan, but I'm just not motivated right now. Especially since I seem to be spending quite a bit of my spare time jumping up and down. Y'all know, there's only so much time, which is why I resisted the jumping up and down in the first place.

The good news is that I'm on target with the knitting and, natch, I still intend to sew all of the stuff in the plan. But maybe I'm going to have to rename this capsule "Summer and Fall Crafting".

So, today's questions: Is your sewing derailed by good weather? Do you find that your fitness regime cuts into your time for more creative endeavours? How do you manage that? Do you care?

Gym 1.0 (And I Promise Not to Write About This Again Anytime Soon...)

My goal today (she writes optimistically) is to post twice - as I have 2, entirely different things to talk about. If you care about the New Regime (Kristin's exercise in midlife solipsism), keep on! If this topic irritates, no worries - next up, new fabric...

OK, so today I went to the gym. As with all things one dreads, it was no where near as bad as I'd expected. Instead of going for a spin class (which might have overwhelmed me), Scott suggested that we go together and he'd show me how to work the bike, elliptical machine and rower.

First up, let me say this: I blended in entirely. Except for my tendency to use a zillion more cleaning wipes on every machine than anyone else, I seemed totally gymish - and I wore the same outfit that I had during my gym phase in the 90s. Yeah, back in the 20th century. That outfit consists of a black sports bra (though my new one is SO superior to those of yore), a black sleeveless top, black Lulu lemon short shorts (these work for everything) and my black and white Nike Air's from 1992. They're like, third generation Nikes - so hilariously in your face - but Scott swore that they do not look any different from anyone else's. And seriously, they're still in good shape!

But I know the gym is not about the outfit. I used 3 machines, as referenced above: the bike, rower and elliptical, in that order. I did each for 15 minutes. I don't remember anything about the settings but I know that Scott set them at a reasonable level.

Undoubtedly, the rower was the most fun and the elliptical was the hardest. Stationary bikes are totally boring. Without the real world going by, and the avoidance of street danger, riding a bicycle is much easier than it would otherwise be. Cranking up the gears makes your legs hurt but it doesn't reproduce the freedom, and challenge, of real cycling. I suppose a class makes it more fun cuz you follow an imaginary course and someone else's instructions.

At any rate, though I struggled not to feel sad about the hamster-like state of everyone in the gym, I was surprised to enjoy the rowing. It was meditative. And I was even more surprised to find that the elliptical machine is very good for increasing the heart rate. It was like running, skiing and stair climbing at the same time. The machine monitors your heart rate as you glide and mine was smack in the appropriate high zone for my age - so I was going at the right intensity for me.

Apparently, I can get in and out within 45 minutes (this time took an hour because of orientation).

Did I find it fun? I wouldn't say that - but it was entirely tolerable. I didn't feel overly germ-encrusted and it didn't rain! I intend to go back on Wednesday - weather depending.

The New (Fitness) Regime

In case you're wondering about the New Regime (term courtesy of fitting friend S) - though if you're  bored by my solipsism, my apologies - I have taken next steps (ha!).

A couple of days ago, I joined Scott's gym (the Y), which is to say he expanded his membership to the Family category. As he's done this 3 times (not that I've ever asked him to do so before!), he was sort of irritated but, natch, he complied. I visited the gym to learn more about how they keep things clean, available classes, machines etc. It really has it all one requires. Or far more, if one happens to be me.

My current thoughts are these:

• I will go to the gym 1 or 2 times per week as I gain a comfort level with the environment / determine whether it is meant to be. I will do either a) spinning (Lord...) b) gravity machine class (this is kind of like a Pilates reformer but with buttons and it apparently produces a reasonable cardio component) or c) a machine session with combo of rowing and elliptical. My goal is to be in and out within an hour, but you have to sign up for the classes 30 min in advance and they don't do this online (dark ages, anyone?!). I'm going to aim to go to less busy classes which, hopefully will obviate the need to sign up more than 15 min in advance. Of course, I want to get in and out between 5:30 and 6:30 like the rest of the planet. We'll see if this is in the cards.

• I'll do inversion and stretch-intensive yoga for 45-60 minutes 2 times per week, starting with that miserably entitled "30 Day Shred" internet class (which is 25 minutes in duration, not incl cool down, and incorporates lots of cardio/jumping).

My current plan is to do a total of 3-4 sessions a week: gym sessions lasting 45-60 min and home sessions lasting 75 min (30 of which is hard cardio). If I can't be bothered to get to the gym, I'll sub with home or vice versa (if, by some miracle, I determine that the gym isn't bad).

This will be in addition to my long-standing 60 plus minutes of walking per day (my method of transportation).

This will eat into the amount of yoga I'm doing but, as long as it doesn't impact negatively on my flexibility, I can get with this for whatever amount of time seems reasonable. I mean, I can always add extra yoga of whatever sort I'd like, if I feel the need. That'll be its own thing, however.

If this doesn't yield any results of the slimming variety - and, remember, I'm not doing this for the good of my health! - I'll have to consider adding an additional cardio experience or switching up my cardio vs strength ratios. But unless I find this fun, I don't want to do more than 6 hours per week (over 4 sessions). My hope, needless to say, isn't that cardio, by its very nature, is going to make me slim (I do realize that most of slimming - for most people - is achieved by diet) but to increase the dynamism of my waning metabolism.

As you know, I've cut out booze from Monday - Thurs and my diet (though amped up via hols) is generally healthful and moderate. I really don't want to prune it any more unless I absolutely have to because that will definitely impinge on perhaps my greatest pleasure in life - eating.

I really don't know how this is going to play out but I suspect it will have less to do with my overall motivation to sweat than my ability to get with the gym environment (and to be bothered to get to it). It would be a welcome side-benefit if I could find a way to enjoy this sort of fitness because it provided me with endorphins and a sense of physical well-being (something I've been sorely lacking for the last couple of years).

Needless to say, I haven't yet gone to the gym (the Regime just started), but my goal is to get there tomorrow. Sara, a serious gym-goer, is going to join me to help me get oriented. Of course, it's supposed to be all rain, all the time tomorrow. What else is new?

So, today's questions: Whatcha think of my crazy plan? Does it seem balanced? Do you foresee the need for tweaks? Have you worked out on one of those gravity machines? Do you like the Y? Let's talk!