Updated: Ugh, Ugh, Ugh

I am beside myself - beside myself - about these fucking jeans.

OMG - I actually want to break something and I am SO judgmental of people who get frustrated and want to break things.

I sewed 15 practice buttonholes on fabric identical in every way to the interfaced waistband on the jeans. Each one worked to a greater or lesser extent - that is, after I figured out the right tension and settings etc. Spent an hour plus.

I worked on the FUCKING jeans and not once, not twice, not three times - five fucking times the buttonholer messed up the stupid waistband - which I hate, by the way. Did I mention I had already ripped off the first vile waistband, recut the entire thing with 2 extra inches and re-affixed it to the jeans (the top of which had stretched)?

Did I mention that took me 2 hours?

Did I mention these fucking things are probably too big and I would definitely not recommend sewing the natural-waisted pattern (vs the low-rise)? They're ridiculously high - and I say that as a woman who's had a child.

Did I mention that I finally said fuck it, to the tracks of thread, all inter-seamed, and scissor-slashed the buttonhole out nonetheless?? I know it was rash. As a creative being, I am not rash. I am measured. But in a fit of pique the likes of which made me want to slash my wrists I used the fabric as a metaphor. Maybe I need therapy?

So now I've got a hole where the button needs to go but it's not the right size or shape, nor is it supported at the outer edges by actual thread. It's a freakin' disaster.

I'm this close to actually throwing these things away. I've only ever not completed 1 project - and it never got past the muslin stage. It was the 2nd or third thing I'd ever made and I didn't yet have the skill to see the problem to the end. I cannot believe, given my do or die nature, that I'm seriously considering ditching this project but I am shaking from rage and disappointment in myself right now. I am drinking a glass of wine to calm myself down.

One last attempt. I'm going to try to find Patty's post on hand working buttonholes and see if I can save this thing.

I will not rip off the waistband and try again. Life is too short for that kind of misery.

Please tell me if you've ever had this awful sort of sewing experience. One where you wrecked things right at the end. I need to know I'm not alone.

I want to cry.

Update: So I worked on trying to fix the buttonhole by hand last night (an hour plus) but it still looks as hideous as ever. I even thew them in the wash. FYI, washing machines do not fix stitching as they clean.

Here's where I'm at (and I may do a more fulsome post deconstructing things, but in lieu of that):

• I did put the button on and do them up. They are most definitely too big everywhere.
• The crotch length is too low (not tremendously, but still requires tweaking). This is the most useful piece of take-away, should I decide (one crazy day) to revisit this pattern.
• Were I to make them again, I'd go down a size (to the U), use the low rise pattern (though this doesn't address the need for a contour waistband), and shorten the crotch by half an inch.

Take away:

• I have more (gorgeous) RTW jeans than anyone needs.
• My Brother machine, for its many good points, is shit at doing buttonholes at the best of times. I cannot, in good faith, even attempt to use it for this purpose anymore (not like I've done more than 3 projects with one button hole, but you know what I mean).
  
• I'm going to have to figure out how to use my Singer straight stitch with buttonhole attachment (the machine, arguably, I should have used all along - despite my apprehension about not understanding it well enough). I mean, the attachment comes with vintage, space-aged directions!
• As a result of this project, I now know how to do a lapped zipper, twin stitch sewing on denim (or not), front pockets, back pockets with fancy stitching - and my top stitching has improved tremendously. This hasn't been a dead loss. I will use those skills many times, in the future, I am sure.
  

I'm going to put the jeans away for a week. Maybe I'll hem them and, at that point, put them out on the lawn for someone who won't even notice the Buttonhole Disaster 2011. I've decided to view them as a muslin (a very painstakingly finished one), as they've given me many pieces of useful information for future jeans endeavours.

Your comments have sustained me in a dark moment peeps - even if it's kind of pathetic to consider something as small (in all ways) as a messed up buttonhole a mega disaster. I know this is a trivial occurrence (though it may help me to understand myself and my motives better). I'm sure I'll write more on this later, but for now, work calls...

Jean Genie

So you know I'm participating in the MPB Jeans Sew Along, right? I'm using the ubiquitous Jalie Jeans pattern. Apparently, it won as Pattern of the Year.

Nonetheless I'm very pleased to have the sew along to review along with the Jalie instructions. Because Jalie has a unique way of presenting information. And by "unique", I mean "not so easy, as far as I'm concerned". This is to say nothing of the 27 sizes available on one sheet of paper. No joke - the pattern you'll use for your 5 year old is on the same page as the one you'll trace for you. That's a lot of stuff going on on one page, peeps. Tracing took me 2 hours.

Whatevs. I'm willing to work with it for its supposed awesome RTW look and fit.

I'm using a mid-weight dark blue denim with 3 per cent stretch:

Pocket positioning is an art. You have to be sure to align both pockets on the exact same part of your tush or you run the risk of looking lopsided!

Note: I've only done 1 pocket so far. The other one is staring at me ominously. Cuz, you know, jeans stare.

Not the clearest photo, but you can see the twin stitched pocket, now affixed.

Why, you might ask, is the swoosh on the pocket in sassy orange, while the pocket side stitching is "jeans blue"? Well, the orange thread is very thick and the denim (or the machine) just can't take it. Especially when it's being twin stitched. I learned this, painfully, over the course of an hour. I could start from scratch and go find some less thick, similarly orange thread, but I'm not displeased with the blue. It's much less conspicuous - which isn't a bad thing on one's first attempt.

I'm opting not to flat fell the seams, but to twin top stitch them. It will give me more latitude until I perfect the fit on me.

On the topic of sizing: I cut the V, though I think - unless these fit small - I might have to serge off quite a bit on the side seams. The U might have been better, but I'd rather start off too large than too small. I changed the arch of the back crotch. I didn't touch the front because I don't understand, exactly, how the fly will influence fit. I'm just going to have to use this pair experimentally. You know how I love that.

Update: I have now stitched both back pockets at the expense of 3 twin needles. And those suckers aren't cheap. I think I'm out 20 bucks... Note to jeans sewists: Go out and get an actual denim twin needle. It's unlike me to be unprepared in this way - and to sacrifice, not 1 but 3, needles to my impatience - but I'm over it. Another 10 dollar needle is in my future - this time of the correct gauge...