Saturday, March 4, 2017

The First of Those Ten Posts about Sugar Addiction I Promised to Write

I'm only sort of joking about writing 10 posts on this topic because its impact is everywhere - systemic and personal. There isn't a part of the complex continuum of human experience that sugar doesn't touch, in the West, anyway. And whatever it touches, that thing gets fine.

This post is not about how sugar will kill you. (Note: I appear to be in the mood to tell everyone what everything is not about. Let's hope it's a phase.) This post is about the no-shit thrall it has me in and how fucking miserable it is to have had to remove it from my personal human experience.

I've said to a bunch of people, over the past 6 weeks that, if sugar were heroin, I'd be in a facility detoxing. I am not joking. And I don't even have to hide for shame because, sugar - it's legal, it's in all the fun foods, it's in many of the not fun foods. Everyone eats so the issue is theoretically omnipresent. I can talk about it and you can laugh and it's all good.

But it's really not good.

Allow me to give the requisite high-level overview:
  • Seven weeks ago I eliminated all sugar, all grains (every last fucking one of them including the ones you've never heard of), 90% of booze (except for up to 15 oz per week in course of 36 hours on Sat/Sun. If I don't drink it then, it's done till the next week), all legumes, all soy and every last form of junk food. If it doesn't have 8 ingredients or less, all of which you'll find in nature, I don't eat it. You know how I secretly judge people who do this, right?
  • What does that leave? Organic or grass-fed everything that falls into the meat, fish, eggs, nuts, seeds, vegetables (even the occasional starch or nightshade), fruit - but only the berries, pears and apples - unless you count coconut. I like to call coconut my new food group. BTW, I've always enjoyed coconut but even I'm finding it hard to keep the love. I also eat dairy, albeit in moderate full-fat amounts. And most beloved, one daily, dry cappuccino with 2 or 3 shots of espresso. Fair Warning: I may lose it on anyone who suggests I should give this a miss. My genetic testing showed that I have a caffeine-sensitivity gene thing that goes along with my vitamin D issue gene thing. (I know, my science-speak is impressive. Caffeine exacerbates the vit D issue.) I of all people should be giving the coffee a miss. But it's going to be the last fucking thing to go. On the upside, I down it with 16 grams of collagen protein which I gleefully stir into it while taking 2000 IUs of Vit D to offset the damage. Yup. I've become that person, but it's the subject of another post.
  • How else does my anti-inflammatory approach correlate with other genetic test results? I'm not gluten or dairy intolerant, gene-wise. But I sure have got rid of the gluten. For me, it's pretty easy (if meh) to live without grains. Legumes I love, but I don't miss them overly, though I may have at first. Weirdly, I don't care about anything but sugar. The degree to which I care about booze is only the degree to which it fucks with my blood sugar. Because apparently, that's my high of choice. But, in a sugar-free vacuum, I'll take a good chocolate bar before alcohol, any day. I miss the junk food, particularly fried carbs with weird coatings, preferably laden in sugar. Do you know that popcorn is a grain?! Lord knows what I thought it was.
  • Why am I doing this masochistic thing? Because my body pain is caused by systemic inflammation and sugar, grains, booze and processed foods are the most inflammatory foods out there. In the event that one will have direct, or indirect, inverse correlation with the other, I'm on the hook to verify. Sugar addiction is the flaw in the design of human evolution. Just watch every metabolic syndrome documentary ever made or read the literature (high and low). Go to any mall in suburban North America. Consider diabetes, an epidemic that's going to bankrupt the global health care system unless we start to make serious cultural shifts and stop burning out our pancreases by mainlining sugar. Note to reader: Of course, this is true, but I'm only saying this because I can't eat it.
  • One more thing: I'm pretty stringent. The only goddamned reason I'd ever consider doing this for my health. And it won't work if I don't do it consistently. The smallest amount of sugar (subject of yet another post) makes me actually tingle, esp. if my blood sugar is low. I feel it happening in my brain and I love it. And then it's gone. And then I want more. So I stay the fuck away from it and life seems endlessly flat.
When I stopped eating in the way I had, in some sense, I lost my identity. Hear melodrama if you must, but that's not the angle I'm working. I had lived under certain ebullient terms that worked for me, and they are gone. For the first three weeks, I felt the numb thud of craving, followed by a sinking feeling of loss, in practically every moment (to say nothing of being sick as a dog).

For three weeks, things were really fucking bad. I don't know how my colleagues tolerated me, although they were incredibly tolerant. Sometimes, when I got  bitchy or stared at them as they ate muffins or chocolate, they'd make jokes about the absurdity of my detox. It defused the bomb.

Scott had the much harder job. That man is a saint and I don't say shit like this ever. I couldn't go 3 sentences without bringing it back, in some way or another, to how my life was broken without delicious, sweet things. And I wanted to talk constantly. I could not shut up about sugar and how lost I was and how life is effectively colourless without sugar. Or about how Big Sugar's going to be the end of humanity (which I do believe, by the way, but really...). Or about how everything he was eating was going to kill him. I know. I'm a tough sell right now. But I'm doing really well by comparison with last week.

I mean, this week I have all of the same feelings, but they're not as intolerable. There's occasional reprieve. On some level, this fast has broken me. Oh, sure, I'm in the lure, but I'm far enough away to feel a little bit safe. The sad truth is that the thing I miss most is the thing I've got to stop missing in order to actually be ok with this lifestyle scenario. And you know I don't want to do this. But my ever-practical side is adaptable. My brain will eventually find the same sexy joy in this diet as it did in my last (God help me for writing shit like that) because I need to find beauty and satisfaction in eating. It's non-negotiable for me.

Moreover, while this way is so dull, it's so stable. I am never hungry and I never crash (though thinking of eating often makes me feel physically sick, I imagine for emotional reasons). When I do have to scrounge up a meal, there's a lot of delicious and decadent good-for-you food out there. More to the point, I'm a really good cook. What can I say? I'm no prodigy of crafts but I'm confident with food. I get food and drink. Cooking is a meditation of gratitude, a way to invest a small part of yourself into what will nourish you. It's how you introduce yourself to your meal. I forgot how fun it is to cook (because I got angry at people I was cooking for and not cooking was how I punished them. But really, I punished myself. You know how that is.) Cooking is the new eating, I like to say, because it's where you first meet your meal. But it's labour-intensive. It's my urban, first world way to hunt and gather.

Anyone who tells you that you can eat this way (organically, sustainably), as affordably as you can while following the standard American diet, is fucking lying. On one level, you're addicted to sugar because it suits the economy. If you subsist on the cheap franken-foods, it's because they're designed to make you love them (whether you can afford better and realize that you should eat better). The only way I can bring myself to approach this lifestyle is by eating the most desirable healthful foods and they cost. For a family of three, we used to spend 900 bucks month on groceries. I know that's a lot but I live in the heart of a big city, in an expensive country and I don't limit myself. That price included booze, fwiw... We now buy way less booze and I'm still spending about 200 bucks a month more overall. Mind you, we're eating more of the food we buy and those meals are so nutrient dense that they're giving a lot of value for the money, even if the cost is absurd. What I don't do much now is eat out, not because I can't find food to eat, but because restaurants without wine and dessert are very depressing to me. Also, most of what I cook tastes better than restaurant food because I'm controlling the taste factors that matter to me.

To some extent sugar is a metaphor for my decadence. With no irony, I do recall relating my current experience to the fall of Rome, recently. Sigh. It's also a great drug and I'm bereft to see it go. For how long will I do this? Who can say, but I imagine quite a while because it could take a year to observe potential changes in pain, stiffness and bone/joint health. I also want time to consider potential interdependencies with yoga, my arrhythmia and my brain chemistry. Living balancedly is excessively dull, but very smooth.

Today's questions: Have you removed all the fun foods and did it work to diminish whatever issue you manage? Are you a sugar addict with a capital A? Have you ever overcome an addiction (to anything) and, if yes, can you relate to what I'm describing? Let's talk.

38 comments:

  1. I've removed all the fun foods twice. Once it was no sugar, gluten or dairy and the second time it was no sugar, gluten, dairy, or nightshades. Admittedly I only managed a month each time but the only thing that changed was my weight(down a few pounds). I was having a hard time making 'fun food' that others would eat as well.

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  2. The key is to cook for yourself. My kid is very happy to eat this food but she thinks my predilection for cacao based products with no sugar is strange. And it is. But you know, after you stop being taste-dulled by the omnipresence of sugar, you can find sweetness in everything (even if it's somewhat imaginary to those who eat much more of it).

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  3. My dietary experiments have mostly been related to poking at my questionable and fragile digestive system (no formal diagnosis, but all kinds of minor issues occur on a regular basis and my mother has a similarly questionable, undiagnosable digestive system). I cut out most dairy about 4 years ago, after a semester abroad in France convinced me that yes, I really was lactose-intolerant. It immediately made a large improvement in my stomach problems (I can tell when I backslide a bit and cheat with too many lactase pills) and helped me avoid a lot of processed foods because it all contains dairy and I'm too lazy to bake desserts for myself.

    Of course, now that my body has settled into a mostly-dairy-free equilibrium, I've started realizing that I could cut out more things if I wanted to optimize. Like red meat... This year I started eating semi-pescetarian, only about 50% of the time, and again noticed an improvement in my stomach happiness.

    Gluten I could do without if I lived in China/ate Asian food 100% of the time, as long as you don't take away my beloved rice. Sugar... well, I've known for a long time that I am totally addicted to fruit. And I've gotten into the habit of eating little chocolates at work, since they started stocking dairy-free ones in the kitchen (sigh), but hopefully I can kick that once summer starts by replacing it with All of the Stonefruits. I do so love my nectarines/peaches/apricots. The verdict is out on whether sugar addiction via fresh fruit (not fruit juice or dried fruit) is bad for you, AFAIK.

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    1. You raise such an interesting point about all the processed foods containing milk products. It's so true. As an aside, one of my 10 posts on sugar will consider how removing "food groups" is how people actually lose a lot of weight when they start to eat AIP or paleo or whole 30.

      I'm eating about the same amount of meat and fish as ever, but I'm making sure it comes from good sources and I'm cooking it for myself. Somehow, this way of eating makes me much less interested in volume.

      And the only grain I miss - the only one - is rice. But I don't miss it enough to eat it if getting rid of it may make me feel better. Stone fruits are lovely and I'm going to eat them all once the season turns.

      They may be implicated in the sugar addiction but I suspect it's person dependent. I can eat fruit without feeling the sugar high with which I'm very familiar, though I don't eat more than 2 servings a day and I stick to the low sugar fruits.

      I need variety and I need sweetness to feel that the full complement of tastes is represented in my diet. Because to me that's psychologically non-negotiable. But I can see how this might not be viable for some people with some brain chemistries.

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  4. My diet is pretty messed up because of a lot of GI issues (EoE, gastroparesis, tons of food allergies--it is fun times for me) and I've just gotten back to eating somewhat healthfully and normally in the past few months (and then I went and had dental surgery that threw a major spanner in the works). I got really really dependent on sugar in the past 18 months because I really couldn't swallow much, and milky ways melt on the way down. :/ I decided at the start of the Christmas fast (we are Orthodox) that I needed to make getting off the sugar part of my ascesis for the fast. It was darn hard, and while I didn't give it up entirely (I didn't intend to, just to cut way back), I did get to a much better place with it. I find that I taste it in weird places now, and that I have a much lower threshold for sugar. That said, I still look for it for emotional relief, and that is the hard part. I suspect it will be part of my ascetic endeavor for the rest of my life. Lord have mercy.

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    1. Oh, I can see how that would happen - when all you can have is liquids, it gets hard! And isn't sugar so entangled with the emotions? It's all about cheer and joy and love for me. How can we find those things when the trigger is gone? The work you're doing is worthy, Juliana. At least that's my take on it!

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  5. LOL! well, I guess you wouldn't like the McDougall diet that I eat and Love. It's pretty much the exact opposite of what you are doing. I do hope it works to help with your pain issues. It's so debilitating to have chronic pain all the time.
    Chris

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    1. OK, I have to check that link out now - I got sidetracked by packing yesterday. But hey, all the styles of eating work for certain people. I'm glad you love your way of eating. That means its right for you.

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  6. I would say for a better part of my life I was addicted to sugar. It wasn't until the last 5 or so years, after menopause that I realized that I crave sugar much less and I am happy to eat a small portion and not go back for more. Hormones possibly a factor? I probably should give it up altogether, but as I feel I am on the downward side of the slope at this age, I am not really willing to give up everything. I have already dropped most red meat and some alcohol and make most of my food from scratch. Yes, diabetes is rampant in my family, but so far I have dodged that bullet. I check my blood sugar regularly-so far so good. I hope this works for your pain issues. Barb

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    1. You raise a really interesting point about menopause. I wonder if my sugar issues are ever stronger in my time of hormonal chaos caused by perimenopause. Everyone's convinced that the pain and symptomology I have is being exacerbated by hormonal change. Perhaps it's also messing with my need for sweet? (Though this has been entrenched at all of the ages.)

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  7. I met with a dietitian because of inflammation issues and I had already eliminated so many things. She diagnosed me with Leaky Gut and I a on the very restrictive low FODMAP diet. I feel so much better, though not perfect. But I don't know if I will ever get to perfect. This week I start testing what I can add back. I'm not looking forward to it. It's been great being without so much stomach drama and trauma. But it's nutritionally limiting.

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    1. A friend of mine is on that diet. It is VERY restrictive (in the most unusual way). I wish you all the best in food reintroduction. Is there a protocol for that part of the process? If not, I recommend that this is where intuition may best guide you.

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    2. Have you seen the Tummy Diet books? I tried their cookbook, and made quite a few recipes. They were all good, and I liked the fact that they were fairly simple didn't use unusual ingredients. At the time, I was cooking for two sons. I would make two recipes for dinner, quadrupling them. My sons loved the food, but they would gobble everything down and then ask what was for dinner. It was fine for me but too light for them. And one of them is a vegetarian, so I couldn't even use the meat recipes. I may try it again now that they are out of the house.

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  8. I 100% know what you are going through because I did it about 3 years ago. It was probably the best thing I ever did for my health - I was also suffering from diagnosed autoimmune disease, chronic inflammation, as well as undiagnosed depression. I am much better now, though I still get inflammatory responses to certain foods. I went full AIP/anti-inflammatory for about 3 months, and even now I would say I eat 90-95% AIP and 5% "fun" foods (fun = nuts, coriander, occasional nightshades, home made dessert with a touch of maple syrup, and dairy free, soy free super dark chocolate). I won't touch gluten, and the only dairy I eat is a tiny bit of goat cheese, very rarely.

    Despite the amazing changes I've managed with diet, I totally feel for you with the sugar thing. That is definitely the hardest part. The end of the first month I remember my mother brought home blueberries and I was so excited for something sweet I thought I was going to cry. It gets better, but it takes the longest time for sugar. Even now, 3 years later, I still have sugar issues.

    I listened to an interesting podcast interviewing Gretchen Ruben, who has a book classifying major personality types. What I realized after listening to that podcast is that I am an abstainer- it is really hard for me to eat just a little of something sweet. The less I eat sugar, the less I want it, but as soon as a box of Enjoy Life cookies enters the house I will eat all of it. In one sitting. Because I've had food problems. So not having any is better than attempting moderation, because for me that will utterly fail.

    So, hopefully all this rambling is, well, probably not helpful, but maybe a little encouraging? It does get better, though probably not as fast as anyone would want. My improvement hs been very slow, but generally steady. Honestly it took several months of the diet for me to feel better, but I can also say that, in general I'm still improving. The sugar is the worst, but you'll get there. And when you do it will be worth it.

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  9. DTD: Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. I have to find that podcast. Moderation is also very difficult for me. It's not that I'm gluttonous (although I love gluttony!), but I want the option to go crazy. That's what makes life fun in my brain. I will not bring ice cream into this house (unnecessary testing is not a good idea) but truly, I won't eat the junk food here because when I make up my mind, it's done.

    But blueberries - I cry sometimes when I eat them because they're so good and sweet in the perfect way. Add some coconut cream to thawing wild blueberries and you do have ice cream! Or so I tell myself.

    I'm not here to do that Whole 30 cut out even the dessert concept because it sends a bad message to your brain. I love the idea of dessert and I will not sacrifice it, even if my dessert is very austere in actual ingredients. I'm going to find the taste alchemy and work the shit out of it!

    Thank you so much for sharing that it took months before you felt real progress on this front because I do feel different and perhaps better in some ways that are challenging to detangle, enough to intrigue me to continue, but changes have been more subtle than I'd hoped for, especially given the lengths I've gone to.

    I'm keeping going because I must and I will say that, inasmuch as correcting blood sugar is so sad without the highs, it's bizarre not to feel the lows. And I mean that in a good way (except that I so want that other side of the coin!)

    Also, it seems that you are much farther along than I am. Your 5% is my 20% but then I suspect that our issues and natures are different. I know now that I could give up dairy but I really don't want to. So I've made sure it's high-quality, high-fat and I've cut down rather substantively. Maybe that's my kind of baby step.

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  10. Just read your post instead of eating that slice of cake (which I know is not tasty but I had a lousy day so I want sugar)...

    I'm gradually changing my diet from the worst imaginable to less-processed food and healthier choices. A couple of interesting lessons from this change:
    1. I'm thin, but un-healthy. People don't understand that thin people don't get a green light for unhealthy eating. When I pass on desert people would comment "but you can afford the calories". Maybe, but why should I eat unhealthy food?
    2. When I ate sandwiches and chocolate I was satisfied with my food and gave it little thought. My weight was mostly stable. Now I constantly feel deprived and crave sandwiches and chocolate.I worry that I'll gain weight because of this change (shouldn't it be the other way around?)
    3. I used to think that if the weight is stable and the mind isn't over-occupied with food than the body should be fine. It isn't true.
    4. Better food choices is a group challenge. I'm constantly annoyed by those who makes unhealthy and fattening food for those on a diet. Loosing weight and changing food habits is so difficult! People should support those who try to change.

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    1. Ha! Glad I could put you off it :-) People don't get that skinny-fat conundrum. I see this time and again. Even I'm guilty of promoting it, though I bite my tongue. I don't think you'll gain weight but it's so interesting that you think you might and that you're also describing a bit of the crazy I feel when my blood sugar fluctuates. Maybe what you're doing isn't right for you? A friend of mine is very healthy (so healthy) and she exercises and she's extremely thin by nature. She eats all the carbs (mainly healthy ones, but I've seen her eat a loaf of Italian white bread) and it has no impact on her weight. That's just how she's built. So I salute you for making change but maybe refinement would be a good thing to try?

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    2. And I realize that I used the word "refinement" confusingly (in the context of this post)! I mean refining your method, not eating refined :-)

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  11. I am definitely a sugar addict. I realized this years ago, when I was doing Weight Watchers. Other people would say at the meetings that they would eat one skinny cow a day, and that would satisfy them. I couldn't do this, if I ate one, I'd eat the whole box. I could eat a whole bag of jelly beans while filling the kids' Easter baskets. I read the Sugar Addiction books by Kathryn DesMaisons, and I followed part of her program to get off sugar. The part I followed was eating a good breakfast, eating protein at every meal, and eliminating overt sugar. I did not find that I had to eliminate traces of sugar in foods like ketchup, but I became very sensitive to sugar, to the point that I couldn't eat sushi because of the sugar content (which I'd never recognized before) and I couldn't tolerate wine. She also recommends eating a potato at night as a way to balance neurotransmitters; I never did that. I think that she is a genius. Her website is radiantrecovery.com. My experience with eliminating sugar was different than your. I found that after 3 days without sugar, I not only didn't crave it, but I found the idea of eating candy repulsive, because it would shatter the wonderful state of serenity that I am in without sugar. You experienced that state as "flat" - for me, it was very pleasurable. Human nature being what it is, I have never been able to stay off sugar permanently. I wish I could, but my addiction to Coke gets me every time.

    I would also like to try a gluten-free diet. I have at least one auto-immune disorder, and there are a number of them in my immediate family. My life has been in upheaval for the last couple of years - a divorce, two moves in the past year - but I don't have to cook for my sons any more so I'm hoping to find a good eating plan for myself.

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    1. I'm going to check out that site Marie, thank you. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through a challenging time (to put it mildly). I'm confident some time and perspective will help you to put together the right plan. And I can't believe that you like that state which I call flat and you call pleasurable. You see, it takes all kinds!

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  12. About 3 years ago I went on an anti-inflammatory diet called The Abascal Way (http://toquietinflammation.com/). I think it is similar to your current diet. There is no sugar allowed. I had issues for about 3 weeks and then the cravings stopped. It is amazing how sweet peaches with vanilla extract are when not eating sugar! I didn't stay on the diet long term because it was too hard and it didn't help with the physical issues I was having. I did find that I was not sensitive to gluten or dairy. A longterm change is that I do eat less sugar and more vegetables than I used to.
    Good luck on your journey. For me, anyway, the cravings did stop.

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    1. I think they are similar Victoria (see my response to Jean, below). I do think that things get markedly more tolerable (if inconsistently so) after about 3 weeks. And yes! Peaches and vanilla extract are like, blow your mind sweet after a few weeks away from ice cream :-) What I've heard is that this sort of diet can take a long time before you feel the impacts (of course, I'm sure it's person- and situation-specific) but, you may opt to try it again for a longer period of time to confirm whether time is the determining factor. I feel changes but they're subtle.

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  13. I also have done the Abascal Way and am preparing to go back on it. It helped tremendously with several issues. I fell off the wagon when my FIL (who is now 95 moved in with us ~3 years ago).

    I will say that menopause may well be fooling with you. It did with me--before M, any serious grain restriction made me stupid. Now, it's no big deal. Hmmmm.

    At any rate, best of luck!

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    1. Jean - I'd never heard of the Abascal Way and now two of you are telling me about it! I do believe it's quite similar to the modified AIP protocol I'm doing (though maybe more elimination and reintro focused than what I'm up to right now). I'm sure my hormones are messing with me, btw!! :-)

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    2. It's quite helpful, which is why I'm going back on it. Tricky when eating out or at someone else's home, but that's par for the course whenever you swim against the tide.

      The hormonal stuff fascinates me. I haven't dug into the science, though.

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  14. This sounds miserable, but if it works it might be worth it. Keep plugging away!

    I'm not a big sweets person, so while I might be addicted to sugar, I'm most definitely ADDICTED to bread. You think you're wallowing in self pity over losing sugar, but I'd be downright suicidal if I had to give up bread. Life isn't worth living without it, IMO. Which is probably why I'm currently (and likely will always be) overweight. Well that, and the fact that once I cut out the foods that set off my indigestion (basically onions, peppers, celery, and all members of the cabbage family + ice cream--no idea on that one, since no other dairy product bothers me a bit), my diet is pretty limited. And I'm picky. Growing up we didn't always know where the next meal was coming from, now that I know, I'm not willing to eat anything that doesn't taste good or makes my stomach upset. Except garlic--I basically tell my stomach to fuck off when it comes to garlic. ;-)

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    1. :-) The bread people are serious! You know that all of the grains (particularly refined) turn into sugar as soon as they hit your blood. That's why I got rid of both of them at the same time. I so agree with you about not eating things you don't love because, seriously, life is too short. So I have to find a way to love this way of eating.

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  15. I have been part of a 12 Step program for food addiction for years, without a whole lot of success or relief. Sugar is my main drug of choice, but I recently confirmed that flour of any kind is a problem too. A really helpful resource is Susan Peirce Thompson's Bright Line Eating. New book out the end of March. She has some great videos about the neuroscience of sugar and flour and the effect on people of varying addictability. She only releases the main videos when she is about to do a boot camp for her program, but there is a Bright line eating website and she has lots of videos on youtube. I find that when I am off sugar and flour together, the cravings go away. Still have some emotional and habitual wants, but the physical craving is totally gone most of the time. I do find that a bit of fat at the end of a meal now takes the emotional place that something sweet used to. I make little coconut oil/almond butter/cacao nibs/vanilla bits, which are a lovely alternative.
    Thanks for sharing your articulate writing around all these issues.

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    1. This is such great information, Rise. Thank you! I will def look up this woman and her work. I find it interesting that your 12 step program has not been overly helpful. All I know of 12 steps is from TV but I can't imagine that it would work for me. It doesn't hit the nerve that works for me. I completely agree that fat at the end of dinner makes the meal feel more complete esp. if it includes cacao powder and nut butter. It's a really important closure for me.

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  16. Wow, I thought omnipresent osteoarthritis sounded like a downer. Hearing about your restrictive new diet actually stresses me out. Do you have to do this at the same time you are working day and night to realign the health care system? Could you perhaps cut out one element--grains, for example--for a few weeks and then cut out another thing? From your past blog posts, I realize you don't do things by halves (understatement), so gradual withdrawal wouldn't be as psychologically satisfying.

    The other thing I've been wondering about since your yoga ruminations last year is whether you ever gave other exercise methods a real go. For example, maybe weight training could help your joints and nerves in a way yoga hasn't. I can't quote scientific literature on weight training vs yoga. I haven't looked for any studies, so I don't know if any exist. However, a story one woman told about a rather trivial change in her body made me realize how subtly altered exercise routines can work. She said she ran many miles every week for years but could never get a flat stomach. She started running in the woods. After a few months of that uneven terrain, she achieved flat abs. This is an unimportant cosmetic concern, not life-altering like massive inflammation related pain. However, if 20+ years of yoga haven't helped in this one area, maybe one year of doing weight training or cardio or something else that's different is worth a try?

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    1. It was fucking stressful to go on this track! I'm glad to know I've been able to relate that :-) You're right, I don't do things by halves but this is arguably one of the things that I should prioritize doing fully. Maybe it's the other shit I've got to moderate but, man, nothing wants to give.

      On the topic of other exercise, I have done other exercise in my time, though not in many years. And, until recently, I walked constantly (no time right now). You are not the first person to give me this advice. The one who tells me this constantly: my husband.

      But I can't say that yoga hasn't actually helped to keep me from having worse pain and degeneration that I would have otherwise. Also, the issue has been most extreme in the last 4 years. So there's a point to be made that, in the last 4 years, other exercise may have done as little or as much as yoga or walking did in that same time frame.

      But I completely take your point and I think it's wise. I'll get there when the time is right. FWIW, the yoga I did was weight-bearing (lots of inversions and arm balances) so it's not like I wasn't covering that off. Though I realize that lifting free-weights is different than pushing up one's body weight. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest. Thanks for your comment.

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  17. So good to hear from you. Giving up sugar is v. difficult. Marian Keyes, the Irish writer said she found it harder than giving up drink. Plus you have house problems and a mad work schedule so don't beat yourself up. Well done jx

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    1. That's interesting. I totally agree with her, btw! And I do realize that there's a ton of stuff going on right now that might be adding to the challenge. Just think of how easy it'll be when the craziness of life abates and I've habituated to this way of eating :-)

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  18. Oh, dear lord, good luck! I don't consider myself particularly food-motivated, but I do love my sugars and starches. Not to mention fruit. Also, I now feel less bad about the $800+ we spend every month on groceries. 😂

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    1. Don't feel bad about how much money you spend on anything. You earned it and you spend it! :-) Keep in mind that you have 4 people - I only have 3. So I think you're doing really well. And if your 800 includes booze, you're thrifty, IMO.

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  19. Wow! I get the sugar addicted thing. The first time I went off sugar, I had a cookie after two months of no sugar or grains, and it hit my brain like a drug, with an instant and palpable effect.

    That doesn't mean I've been good about staying off it though, and now I am reluctantly coming back to the belief that I must go back to cutting it all out.

    Part of the problem was that I live I the southern US, where sugar and starch seem to be the major food groups. The other is that my family is not really supportive, and meals with my grandson and his family (step-daughter)include lots of sugar and various starches (which often break down to sugars that feed my addiction). For a long time I gave in to this, but now I have stopped, because it is obviously detrimental to my well being.

    If I have a little bit of sugar I want more, and have to start all over. I know there is research that shows that certain starches and sugars do not influence the addiction part of the brain, but most do, and eventually I might experiment with that, but first I have accept that I can't, at this point, even have rare small indulgences and get myself back off sugar altogether. It has been a few weeks, but I still crave it.

    I can't eat gluten grains anyway due to Celiac disease. I can no longer eat dairy, and most gluten-free grains are very sugar addictive.

    What I do know is that avoiding sugars and carbs which break down to sugars helps my arthritis. I have osteoarthritis, I was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid in my early 30s. But if I don't eat sugar you would never know it. As soon as the sugar intake starts to increase, the knuckles in my hands start to swell and it is downhill from there. The older I get the worse the pain, and the less it is worth eating something just to suffer. I might still have debilitating pain when I am old, but if I can still control it at almost 59 with diet, I'll do so.

    The sad thing is that I was still drinking wine and am now thinking I may have to go into a period of no wine drinking. Its not the alcohol, its the sugar in the wine, even dry wine. Perhaps it is just that the wine is the only sugar I get. But it fuels that craving and I want more and more. This doesn't happen with other types of spirits. There is some part of me that has a strong anti-addictive impulse, probably because I was the child of an alcoholic, and for now I have to give up the wine as well, hopefully not forever, but who knows, perhaps by the time I no longer crave the sugar I won't miss the wine either.

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  20. It's not until I tried to do this that I realized (literally, within 10 hours) that I was a true addict. I think that's why I felt so awful when I did that juice fast 2 years ago. I don't think it was the loss of food - but the loss of grain and cane sugar. When I have rare occasions of tasting something sweet, my mind is blown and it puts me in a special state that I love.

    I didn't remember your RA. How fascinating that removal of sugar reversed the symptoms. Wow. That's powerful. I can tell that my pain is changing. It's not gone, but it feels different sometimes and it's not as omnipresent. I totally believe that it can take a year for the effects of sugar to leave your bones and joints. It's probably one of the things that takes longest to heal because it's a large system and it's deep.

    The wine is tricky, I will concur. The reason I've been so specific with myself about when I drink it is because it can be a slippery slope - easily obtained sugar (albeit fruit sugar), a social experience and mood alterer/relaxant. If I find myself underfunctioning on this account, I'm going to have to get rid of it. Which would be the saddest nail in the coffin of my social life. So I'm towing my own line. Cuz I'll cut myself off and I know it :-)

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    1. I agree that the wine is tricky. I could probably handle it with a strict policy like yours, and I might try that. I have cut myself off, and would do so again, but we'll see.

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