At any rate, here's what we did this morning. We made a list of the innumerable things we have to fix, and soon, in this century home of ours. We should have done this before Scott's third-floor reno. I knew that but I was overruled. And truly, the third floor, which was a total pit, is now fantastic. However, last winter truly fucked over whatever sort of delicate detente we had going with the first floor.
For your viewing pleasure (and to make you feel really good about living in some box put together in the 80s - that would be the 1980s!), here's the list:
Foundation / Basement:
- Rebuild external basement door
- Replace concrete walkway with another material (pea gravel?)
- Address foundation and stack issues (Kitchen)
- Address foundation and shifting in frame (Back Room)
- Re-route dryer vent
- Stabilize water tap (outside)
Kitchen
- Address leak in ceiling
- Recessed lighting
- Cabinetry on north wall - vertical storage for pans
- Island
- Wood floors, insulated floors, radiant heating
- Bigger window
- New appliances with cabinet facings
- Address bulkhead in kitchen
- New under cabinet lighting
- New counters (stone or Corian)
- Under-mounted sink
- Move drain pipe for sink and dishwasher
- Ceiling mounted pot rack
Back Room
- Remove back door and back window, replace with French doors
- Replace south window
- Kristin doesn't like bookshelves, Scott wants refurbishment
- Replace heating duct in ceiling with one that's smaller
- Recessed lighting
- Swedish hanging wood stove
- Insulating floor / possibly radiant heating in floor
- Move ceiling heating vent
- Natural gas line extension for BBQ
- New deck if they can't preserve the old one
- New lighting over the deck
Bathroom
- Fix drain issues
- Fix potential water damage in kitchen at source (God help us if it's the shower...)
Dining Room
- Replace dining room window (if possible)
If you don't want to throw all of your money at things (other than fancy travel and luxury goods) for the rest of your life, I have two serious recommendations: Don't have a kid (or more than one). And, really, don't buy a house that's almost 150 years old.
My other serious recommendation is to just be rich. But that's perhaps trickier to control.
We've been putting this off for 14 years but the original kitchen - which used to simply be a blight on an otherwise charming home - is now a liability. Furthermore, the back of the house was completely unsettled, to put it generously, by the racking cold of the winter from hell. Oh, I have another piece of serious advice to help you keep your money: Don't own a home in Canada (or any other arctic clime).
I have no idea of how this is going to go from a list on a piece of paper to reality. It must, however. Regardless of the cost, regardless of the stress and misery a reno is likely to cause, it's our responsibility. We bought this home with an intention to maintain its structure, to bring (pridefully) it into new centuries.
In case you're wondering, living with this knowledge (in the place that must be fixed) is a great stressor. I cannot abide disorder. At the best of times, I feel that everywhere I turn, everything is falling apart. Imagine how this environment casts a spotlight on that harsh truth.
So when I say that I'm tired and that the week's been tough, often times it's because another thing in this place where I live, a place I'd desperately like to take for granted, has broken. Add in a mouthy adolescent, and a busy job and I really don't know how I have the wherewithal to do an hour of yoga, much less to make a sweater or to re-fit a sewing pattern.
I don't know if I'm at a particularly transitional moment or if they're all like this. All I can say is that I'm very aware. Now I've got to focus on detaching from difficulty. How do I observe this without becoming overwhelmed?
Today's questions: What stresses you out? Do you have a house that takes as much attention (and money) as your average child? Do you see disorder in everything? How do you manage chaos, even if it's just in your own mind? I really need some pointers.
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That sounds miserable. I'm in no rush to stop renting, at this point, although I know that come retirement age I'll regret that. I've got a poor relationship with money - I stress about it and regularly freak out, but always spend too much anyway. (For the record, I was very good with money until marriage!) Now it's a game of catch up and we never catch up. I can't wait to get paid on Oct 1st... it's been a loooong two months since the last paycheck for last school year!
ReplyDeleteI know - I've done my job :-) All the big life events are bound to change one's relationship to money. Don't feel that you are good or bad, just focus on how you want to spend what you have, and how you want to conserve.
DeleteMoving stresses me out. Which is annoying since I have to move every year-3 years. We just made the move from Sao Paulo to Kyiv, and it's driving me nuts trying to make our apartment work (we don't get any say in the apartment). Part of our stuff will only arrive later this week, and most of our stuff is still several weeks out. I really want to sew, but really don't have a very good setup yet, so it's annoying me. My kids are annoying me this weekend, as we've been stuck in the apartment waiting for the internet people. Luckily, they finally showed up and it finally works. Here's to conquering some of this stress this week! Good luck with the rehabbing. And at least you don't have god awful red carpeting to deal with for the next 3 years. :)
ReplyDeleteOK, that is INSANE! You win for the crazy situation of the day, Nicole. I'm giving you many positive vibes and I hope that you enjoy the access to new culture that you so, ahem, routinely experience. Cheers!
DeleteI grew up in a century home (it turned 250 a couple of years ago), so I feel your pain on the constant renos. Granted, I wasn't paying for them, but I lived through them and lived with my parents while they stressed out about them.
ReplyDeleteOne of the more major fixes involved re-building the roof of the converted (before we moved in) barn that houses my parents' offices and the guest area. Previous owners removed the main ceiling joist to get a higher ceiling, leading the walls to spend the next ~20 years slowly folding away from each other. Total insanity, but apparently fixable with enough money... How they got through that (and myriad other renos) with three teenage girls on their hands I don't know.
You'll get through this, but definitely make sure to find time to practice your yoga. You'll need it.
Egad, that is seriously old. That makes my house look like a teen. And I wonder how my child will view her childhood - will we be the crazy "house" parents?
DeleteGah! That is quite a list. Though, being a methodical person myself, I can see how the act of HAVING a list makes it feel less insurmountable.
ReplyDeleteWe bought a house last year - in fact, one of those 1980s boxes that you mentioned! It still has many problems, and the propensity of New Zealand to provide unwanted earthquakes makes me even more nervous.
There are many things that I just plain dislike, but structurally we have two decks that need replacement, and one is likely to cost upwards of $35k (it's big, and one floor up). I think Chris and I also need to sit down and make a list.....
All this is to say, I kind of understand where you are coming from, and wish you all kinds of luck in dealing with it!
Oooh, I like your attitude. And since I spoke of the new homes, lots o' people are coming out to tell me that they have it just as bad. I guess I'm feeling the grass is greener. Or cheaper to fix:-)
DeleteThat is one serious deck you've got going on. It's like a roof! I'm wishing you good luck too. Keep me posted...
That sounds awful! It would stress anybody out, but somebody who can't abide disorder? Horrible. You are reinforcing again my decision not to buy a home, certainly not an old one.Also not to have children. Ugh. Oh, yeah, and not to live in a place that gets freezing cold every year for months at a time.
ReplyDeleteSorry you're going through this. It's amazing you blog at all!
Ha! Then my job here is done. Sometimes I wonder how I ever blog at all too :-) (And then I can't stop myself from bitching about everything, and voila!)
DeleteOh, that does not sound fun at all! And I just bet that at least a few of those things are going to be interrelated.
ReplyDeleteWe just (as in less than 48 hours ago) closed the sale of our 110+ house. The home inspection was nerve wracking - we knew we had done a lot of work, but it's always scary when someone spends 3 hours just looking for problems.
We ended up having to send samples of the vermiculite insulation to be tested to confirm it had no asbestos (asbestos free, thanks the gods!), and my husband has to kill off a giant wasps nests, but other than that apparently everything fell into the category of 'honey do' projects.
Of course, now that we can seriously start looking for a pace in our new neighbourhood, there's nothing good on the market (we only want a place in the catchment area of a specific school). Our real estate agent is being super helpful though - but yesterday we started talking about trying to find a decent place we can rent month by month... :(
Congrats on selling your home. I hope that you feel free! And I'm sure you will find the place you're meant to be. Even if it takes a bit of time. Renting can be a very useful solution.
DeleteI don't envy you your list, K. Although my home is only 60-something, and New England is not quite as far north as Toronto, I too have, and always have had, a list of home maintenance and improvement projects that need attention. What stresses me out, aside from spending a minimum of $xk on anything home-related, is not knowing the financial cost of each of those to-do items. I was actually pleasantly surprised when I got quotes, long overdue, for replacing my driveway; they were much less than I had imagined. Sometimes I think we fear the worst. Having actual costs associated with each of the projects on my list has helped me to plan my fiscal and emotional resources, and better manage that feeling of being overwhelmed by it all. That, and yoga. Which right now is MY stressor b/c my yoga studio has changed hands and I'm stuck with having to find another with the same level of joy that is no more. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteTL: I really hope that I get a fabulous surprise about how much less all of this will cost than I imagine. Seriously. And I'm sorry that you've got yoga studio issues. That is so stressful. As you look for a new place to practice, consider joining My Yoga Online. It recently merged with Gaiam TV. I think there might be a 10 day free try period so you can check it out. Generally, it's 10 bucks a month and there are hundreds of videos of all levels and styles. I make frequent use of the site.
DeleteKL: Thanks for the info on My Yoga Online .... why didn't I think to look on the interwebs?? I like what I saw in the several previews I just watched, and will indeed sign up for the free trial period!
DeleteI'm going to post on this soon. I just don't want to overwhelm everyone with constant discussion of yoga.
DeleteWe currently own two houses (which makes us sound a lot richer than we are--sadly it's just that the other hasn't sold *yet*), and while both were "fixer-uppers", the current one is FAR worse than the first one. I'm actually planning a post on it soon, but I think our lists are equally daunting...
ReplyDeleteSo yeah. Believe me when I say I feel your pain. As for dealing with it, I think the easiest way is to take small "bites" and keep the trauma contained in one room at a time. I would focus on the foundation issues first--otherwise your hard work on the beautifying will potentially be wasted if plaster/drywall cracks or tile comes loose when they jack it up. The other is, and I'm making assumptions here when I probably ought not be, but I'd hire that shit done. You've got enough on your plate, and it seems as though your budget can withstand it, so skip the DIY and go for the pros. If you need to save money, do the legwork on sourcing materials yourself, but be aware that it can be time consuming.
Oooh, that does sound fancy. But I hear you, owning 2 properties can be uber-stressful. We will most def focus on the foundation first. Part of the challenge is that our neighbours recently re-underpinned their entire 150 y/o basement and our houses are joined. So the impact of that has made things even worse than they were before...
DeleteAin't no way we'll be doing the stuff ourselves. I barely have time to pee as it is. I mean, we will design the space, research where to find the things, manage the trades, get the permits etc. OK, we'll be doing a shit ton of work. But we're not installing a kitchen or underpinning a room.
Oh I'm sure that keeping tradesmen in line will be an undertaking in and of itself, but if you aren't doing the grunt work too, at least it will be more manageable. :-) Would have been really nice if your neighbors would have discussed underpinning the basement with you before they did it so that ya'll could have worked together to get the whole shebang done at once. As it is, I wonder if they will have issues from you guys doing it to yours as you did when they did theirs...know what I mean? Shared load bearing walls seem like they would be tricky beasts...
DeleteThe work they did was extensive (to shore up their entire house and create a basement with a ceiling height that would be liveable) and it cost 100K, I estimate. What we need to stabilize is one piece of the house that isn't attached to the main foundation. We were never committed to digging down the basement (what our neighbours did, foot by foot) because we don't need the space. Their house footprint is smaller than ours (weirdly, though they were built at the same time). They would have been happy to have us do it too. Would have yielded a discount. It was truly hard on our home, however. We suspected it would be.
DeleteNo fun! We are planning a new kitchen in the next couple of months (well we've been planning it for months but will actually do it in october). It's going to be messy and inconvenient but at least there's no major construction work to be done. However we are doing it ourselves to save money. The one good thing is that at the same time, we will be turning our utility room into a sewing space! It's going to be tiny but it will be all mine and I won't waste precious sewing time looking for things (and I'll be able to see the true size of the stash since it won't be hidden all over the house! )
ReplyDeleteOh, that is exciting. To actually be starting the work - I mean, the misery is practically over! Just think of how you will love the completed space. Can't wait to hear how it goes. Good luck!
DeleteAarg! One item at a time is how I'd get thru this list! And take any advice from these parts with a big grain of salt - I'm barely coping with setting up a nursery at this point.
ReplyDeletebut at least you have a venerable old house that needs this loving attention lavished on it. Ours is a nasty mid-20th century box and our list is at least as long as yours. I swear I would happily move if everything else where we live wasn't exactly the same kind of build, or about 3 times our budget.
ReplyDeletePs...as for dealing with it...our good old friend wine always helps ;-)
ReplyDeleteI stress about money and never having enough to repay my parents for all that they've given me. I also stress about the idea that I'll never be able to own a house. But more I stress about taking care of my parents. I deal with stress with yoga and celexa.
ReplyDelete