You may feel it's been quiet on the crafting front and, to some extent that's true. Since mid summer I've been trying to inject a bit of balance into my creative undertakings. I know, crazy.
I've been largely successful - if successful means unproductive. In short, I spend practically as much energy wondering what it means to be "not crafting enough" as I would have on actual crafting. The difference is that I can do that around my family.
Don't misunderstand. I have made 2 sweaters in the last 6 weeks, and a dress (which is very close to languishing on the lawn unless the advice to simply cut off the facing - which has been under- and top stitched to the dress neck - produces a wearable result. Note: I'm not optimistic and it's too bad cuz my workmanship on that thing kicks ass.) I've learned numerous knitting techniques, started working semi-regularly with a teacher and taken a course on Craftsy, which I intend to put into action soon. I know what projects I next want to undertake: a silk version of the Pendrell blouse, a wool version of my wide-leg pants sloper and another knitted sweater (which I'm in the process of using Ravelry's amazing platform to help me to choose).
And yet I feel like an under-performer.
Why is that? (This is another one of the things I've spent a lot of time considering while not crafting.) At first I blamed it on you. :-) I mean, you have expectations of me. You've come to expect certain things. You're probably sewing up a storm (or doing some other fab, creative activity) occasionally reminded that I really haven't produced much lately.
Then it hit me that I really can be egomanical - as my husband loves to tell me. And projection truly is alive and well.
See, for better or for worse - put this on my pragmatism (which is legendary) or my people-pleasing nature - I am what I do. I'm only as good as that last technique, as that project in which I achieve and exceed expectations. The one in which I learn something I can apply going forward. Throw in a clinical dose of OCD and it's a veritable bomb.
Lord, that's a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I'm always motivated to do more - which inclines one to do more, don't you think? Note: I love finishing garments, and enjoying them (when they work out). It's not like I don't enjoy the crap out of the process or the outcome. On the other, I shouldn't be enslaved to these things (or more importantly, to my impression of what it means to do them in a more measured way).
Sorry to say, there's no point to this diatribe. I suspect I haven't resolved anything by reconsidering the topic or by writing about it. Of course, I love lively debate and commiseration (not that I wish this style on anyone), so we might be able to extract some meaning in that respect. Sometimes you have to put it down on paper to pick it up in real life. Here's hoping...
*Sounds deep, huh?