Are You Afraid of Your Clothes?

Hear me out. I know you don't shrink at the sight of your closet, like, with fear. I realize that clothing is not like, say, spiders (I can barely type that word, those things freak me out so much). But I'm amazed by the plethora of posts out there about culling one's wardrobe. Secretly, if you've been blogging/reading the blogs as long as I have (almost 7 years), those posts are all popular, all the time. They're not having a special moment.

Different blogs take a different tack: There's the professional sewing blog method (organization as art form), the blogger you know who loves all of her things and is trying to come to terms with near-hoarding, the fast-sewist, her counterpart the "evolved" sewist, the non-fashion blogger who tries to make sense, existentially, of the things she cannot part with for sentimental reasons. There's the growing-family-in-600 sq feet-in-NYC scenario. It goes on...

All of these have one thing in common: They dwell on clothing and what should be kept (on attractive wooden hangers) and what should be culled and how.

Look, I'm all for wooden hangers - which you can use even if your wardrobe is bursting at the seams. But I think the art form scenario (particularly) gets lost as it's conflated with style - not clothing-style, per se, but life style.

Mind you, I'd like to consider this from a slightly different angle - the angle I am reminded of whenever I read these posts (which I love, of course, in full disclosure).

Lots of people appear to be paralyzed in the act of opening the cupboard door. Lots of people keep buying and making the same things over and over again because they're not willing/able to see what's within. I sense a deep metaphor here, but I digress.

What's the fear?

Well, I can tell you mine:

• Will bugs have eaten something precious? (This one's near and dear right now.)
• Will that gorgeous thing I've loved and worn for years actually fit me this season?

I love organizing things. I'm not quite as quick as Andrea, for example, who can organize things in 3 minutes with the power of her mind (even crazy hoarder-shit), but I have my own way: It's called compulsive orderliness. I don't recommend it, but there's certainly an up side.

The reason I allowed two seasons to go buy without taking serious stock (which I always do - I'm a one-in, one-out kind of girl) is because I didn't want to address the changes in my landscape - interior and exterior. I was afraid of what I might find.

Oh, and I was right to be afraid. A ton of that stuff doesn't fit and a small subset had bug bites.

But, y'all know: there's nothing to fear but fear itself. The net result of my ripping everything apart (including the ever-burgeoning fabric and yarn stash, egad!) is this:

• Everything smells gorgeous. That's what happens when you wash everything in cedar.
• My creativity was stimulated. I upcycled fabric to make delightful sachets of lavender - see bullet above.
• All of my beautiful garments are easily accessible on those wooden hangers.
• They all fit beautifully.
• They're all in perfect condition. 
• They're entirely aligned with my emerging aesthetic (one based on my changing shape and new instincts - got to love evolution!)

I sense that there are many issues at play when it comes to culling the closet - but perhaps the most paralyzing is sentimentality. I am extremely fortunate (IMO) in that I can (mentally and actually) recycle everything. If I don't need it, it goes on the front walk and it's gone in minutes. I don't care if I spent 200 hours making that thing (unflattering suit, anyone?), if I don't want it, it's gone.

Mind you, one has to take the first step, opening the door and reviewing, and that's where I was stuck. In full disclosure, my wardrobe was not disastrously full on the basis of the space I have to keep things. I am very tidy by nature. I don't want to make this seem like I was in for the purge of the century, as many others likely should be. When it was time, I sucked it up. A moth helped to motivate me.

And yet I got rid of 40 items with nary a second thought. Better yet, I decided that there are certain things I'm never buying or making again (famous last words, I realize). There's a time and place for the plastic-coated leggings and I feel I'm not there anymore.

So, I'd like to know if you're afraid of your clothes. And, if yes, why? Please, do let me know! It will enrich our organization post-reading all the more.

Random Things

OK, so I'm fighting off a spring cold. Given that I haven't had a cold all winter long (this winter), it's not so out of line, but I do hate that puffy, swollen, scratchy throat feeling. To complicate matters, I'm in a busy phase at work (meetings Monday and Tuesday) and I have an exciting dinner plan this evening so I must get better now.

On some sort of crazy whim, this morning I tried oil pulling (I do realize that isn't the most credible link). According to some, it's a means to improve the immune system. In truth, I don't know how swishing oil around my mouth for 10 minutes is going to forestall a cold but apparently it's also good for getting rid of migraines, teeth whitening and hormonal equilibrium. Admittedly, I've known about oil pulling since before Gwyneth P started promoting it, but the idea is so freakin' hideous, I've not been able to convince myself to try it. I also don't know - as a person with fairly significant TMJ - how it could possibly make that condition anything other than worse, but apparently it improves the jaw pain/clicks too. In my 10 minute experience with olive oil (I didn't have sesame or coconut lying around), I will suggest that my TMJ was entirely unexacerbated and my teeth did get whiter.

I don't sense it's going to be a regular part of my day cuz, ugh, disgusting!, but feeling unwell makes me do some pretty crazy things. Especially after this winter.

But to continue a few discussions:

• My Ferragamos have been stretched but, when I tried them on at Novelty, before taking them home, I felt they could use a bit more width. Initially, I requested very subtle stretching, as I was worried about how 20+ year old leather might respond. However, the leather is entirely unphased, so I might as well have all the stretching I like. Alas, they won't be done till Monday so I cannot wear them tonight.

• I sense that Amy Herzog is finally getting to a place that she can clearly articulate the Custom Fit process. In truth, I think this is a cautionary tale about how good ideas can be very nearly tanked by bad communications, but I'm keeping an open mind.

• I finished cleaning the closet. There is one hanging item that is so badly eaten that it may not be salvageable. It's actually the one that started this whole spring cleaning process, one that I've darned before. In fact, it's the garment that got me on the darning bandwagon in the first place. For a sweater I love so much, I don't wear it often enough to keep it from the bugs. In my defense, it's an awkward length to wear under a coat and it's usually too warm when a coat isn't required. It's got a wearing window of, maybe, 2 months a year. For some reason, whatever was in my closet has basically eaten it to shreds and left everything else untouched. (OK, there were 2 other items with tiny holes - one wool and one synthetic?! but really, it's the cashmere "coat" that's toast.) I'm going to try darning one more time, after cleaning it with a shitload of cedar as there are 11 new holes to contend with. Of course, it's probably the finest cashmere in the entire fucking closet. If it cannot be saved, I'm chopping it up and keeping the panels that are undamaged. Mercifully, it's about the size of a small blanket so there should be enough to repurpose into something else.

• A propos of closet cleaning, I've got another 25 items to put on the front walk when next the weather is sunny for more than 3 minutes. While I'm very nostalgic, I am in no way sentimental. At least half of those items are handmade things that I don't wear because a) I don't like the fabric b) I don't like the fit or c) in retrospect, I don't like the pattern. Fortunately, I no longer sew with fabric I don't like, my fitting has improved and I've become rather more selective about the garments I spend my effort on. We'll see if this is the last time I'm so willing to purge handmade items in this fashion - whether I've learned the lesson and now I will make fewer things (perhaps) but wear them all into the ground. Time will tell.

At any rate, that's all I've got right now. Too meh to pull out the exciting stories. Or maybe it's just that things are still in that limbo zone between a horrid winter and whatever comes next. Really, I'm praying for a beautiful spring and summer, but it's hard to take anything on faith at this point.