Wednesday, July 4, 2018

In Which I Remind You that Renos Suck

Lest you think we're sliding into that "reno sweet spot" (what with our move back to the house happening on July 14), please be assured that there is no such thing. On today's laundry list of compelling issues that just slide off one's back (sort of), the motor on our furnace blew and it did something to the gizmo to cause all of my pipes associated with my new AC unit - and the actual AC unit - to freeze solid.

Let's look at the bright side: We're having a massive heat wave so the unit should be thawed by tomorrow morning when our HVAC guy comes to fix the situation. Moreover, our HVAC guy is one of the few trades I can respect - and he's giving us a huge discount on the fix. (He was not the cause of the issue!)

On the less bright side: the heat wave - in the absence of working AC - means my paint is drying at the pace of an actual snail.

Also, it would be good to know when my 12 new doors are going to arrive, like, optimally before I move in - not that anyone can tell me.

Oh, and the counter people (aka the Princesses from Vaughan, as I now refer to them) have advised that they can't confirm our installation date and time until Monday (the day they're supposed to arrive) because the person who looks that up on the computer is away. Also they just don't give a shit about my tiny job. It didn't go over well when I suggested that it must be rather difficult to run a professional business the size and scale of theirs without having, perhaps, 2 employees (out of 100) who understand how the computerized booking system works. Yeah, I know. Not my most strategic move but I'm ready to explode.

Then there's the fact that extreme heat may impact drying timelines for my final floor seal - which could have implications for all kinds of things that I cannot broach right now without becoming vaguely hysterical.

Also, the fix for the stove vent (you may recall 4 separate trades managed to mess this up independently with nary a second thought) is entirely sub-optimal from my vantage point. My husband spent 5 months designing the most beautiful mechanical wall you've ever seen - which is no small feat in a house that's 15 feet wide - because his hate-on for the ugliness and wasted space produced by bulkheads is rivaled only by my profound disappointment in this entire process. The only reason I didn't go full-on reno-zilla is that he swore to me that a 4-inch high valence, coming down from the ceiling,  truly wasn't going to bother him and he begged me to let it go for everyone's sanity.

By the way - this is merely a short-list of today's issues. I can't remember them all without looking at a spreadsheet. (Wait - now I remember but I just can't bring myself to write it down.)

Add PMS to this list and it leads to a fun tale about how, today - when I ran out for 5 minutes desperate to find something to eat between multiple work crises while simultaneously having a heady debate about tiles with Scott, on the phone - I had to quickly switch gears to lose my shit on some idiot who decided to cut in the line I had been standing in for far too long. I didn't even start the argument. She had the audacity to imply that I was being rude by not tolerating her breach of protocol (Canadians tolerate) and, at that point, I was done. Oh, that woman didn't know what hit her (namely a barrage of multi-syllabic in-your-faceness, the subtext of which was fuck off bitch). It was quite a spectacle. Unsurprisingly she backed down a) cuz possession is 9/10ths of the law and the cashier was already checking me out and b) when you go at someone without cause and that someone comes back at you hard, you gotta carefully consider how crazy she actually is.

When that was done, I remembered that I was still on the phone with Scott. He confirmed that I was "scary like a lawyer" and then he decided it might be more fruitful to talk about tiles tonight.

Over the past few weeks, I've heard first-, second- and third-hand tales about multiple people who can't get any traction on their renos, currently in play. Like none. They're, 6, 10, 18-months in, living in their basements, eating takeout, bathing their children in a kitchen sink. While I'm incredibly critical of the broken-ness of the building industry - and I will continue to be this way until I find a way to fix it (and I will find a way) - these stories make me understand that I do have traction - albeit builder-grade* (the worst concept ever). Sure, it's taking a veritable furnace of life-energy from two perfectionist overachievers who should probably be more mindful of their health, but I will move back into that house in less than 2 weeks - and I will have bathrooms and a kitchen - if not interior doors. Goddess-willing, I will also have initial backyard hardscaping, blinds, wood beams, a sexy barn door and a bunch of new kitchen gizmos (if no furniture, cuz really, who has money for places to sit?)

*On this topic, is it not sad that this term refers specifically to mediocre workmanship. Like, you can have good work or you can have "builder-grade". Take back the night, Builders. Find the pride in your industry because you're the only thing standing between us and the devolution of architectural value everywhere.

18 comments:

  1. You need to call Mike Holmes...just kidding, although he seems to know his stuff. Breathe in, breathe out. Could it be drywall dust blew out the furnace motor. That happened to my sister on her new build.
    Just wait until you are in you sixties, like me. I don't often give a flying fuck anymore what people really think, and yes it was me that marched over to the joint fence with the neighbours, at 6:30am , in my bathrobe and screamed for them to please turn down the music as some people were trying to sleep...worked like a charm. My husband was mortified, but too bad for him. Some days I feel like Kathy Bates in "Fried Green Tomatoes". I am older and I have more insurance.
    July 14 is not too far. Hang in there.
    Barb

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    1. You know, at this point, I'm just as suspect about Mike as I am about everyone else! I know I have to care less because caring as much as I do only causes me hardship and, one can infer, potential long-term damage. I know I sound insane when I write all of these things - like, how much does any one detail really matter, but they really matter to me.

      No question: I've got to find a more effective way of managing my anger.

      PS: I say, call to the noisy neighbours :-) Not secretly, I'm the one who calls the cops when people party on my street at 2am. I feel it's my public service.

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  2. Yes, but a year from now when you are done and everything (or almost everything) is installed you will be dragging folks around to show off your wonderful house that you couldn't be more proud of. And the current pain will subside.
    Theresa (who has built several houses) in Tucson

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    1. How on earth do you ever forget Theresa!? I take my hat off to you because I'm in tatters and I'm never doing this again. Does it get easier?? How do you stand the stress. I have so many ideas for Netflix shows, one of which is a reality show that follows people through a reno from a psych perspective. Scott predicts I'm the only one who would watch it.

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    2. "... that woman didn't know what hit her (namely a barrage of multi-syllabic in-your-faceness, the subtext of which was fuck off bitch)..."

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You restore my faith in humanity every time I read one of your posts, Kristin! Please keep being you. The world needs it!

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    3. Anon: You've made my day. I was very concerned that peeps would worry for the safety of others! I promise, I was only nasty with words - and none of them were untoward (or unwarranted). :-)

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  3. Yes and no to "Does it get any easier." You first gain enough experience to be dangerous. Then you gain enough experience to get yourself out of trouble, i.e. you can fix your mistakes. Then you finally get enough experience to not make the mistakes in the first place. The downside is; you make different ones. But you have enough experience to turn it into a feature and come up with a solution that says "Why didn't I think of this is the first place." Lather, rinse, repeat. But I'm not doing this anymore. After 60 the body starts saying "No" in very loud terms even if the brain is churning out more "what ifs".
    Theresa (who has really built her last house) in Tucson

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    1. Love this! OK - I can see your point. But I'm 48 and my body is already saying no! (I can see what you mean about getting bold, experienced and then turning near disasters into genius fixes.)

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  4. Dare I say you'll miss it when it's over?

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    1. Ha! Ok - ask me in a year and I'll be truthful.

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  5. No you don't sound crazy because the"brokenness" of the building industry is nation wide,(writing from Dartmouth).How the hell did it get to this?

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    1. I don't know!! Wishing us both a rolodex of excellent trades in the nearest future.

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  6. Kristin, Do you still have your yoga room?

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    1. Yup. Pics on insta (and eventually, when finished, I'll post photos here). It's SO different now. Arguably the best room of the reno. (Though secretly, there's a lot of competition :-))

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  7. I wish I could come and help (or send my dad to help). I am fully aware of the building industry issues too - as my sister give me a lot of proof every time she tries to hire someone (off of craigslist without asking for references). The mind reels...

    Honestly you sound like you're keeping it together very well despite everything and I'm rooting for you guys!!!

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    1. I think of you and your process all the time. You are so tremendously fortunate to have your natural creative and tech skills PLUS a professional who helps you to learn how to do beautiful work. That's the way things should be! But honestly, your sister is playing fast and loose :-) Believe it or not, I got a min of 3 quotes for every single part of this process (and sometimes as many as 5). And everyone you choose seems really good until the work gets underway.

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  8. DAMN! Does it help at all that your struggles are making me feel less guilty about our do-it-yourself half-assery? �� at least the baseboards look amazing. :(

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    1. You should not feel guilty - look at all of the work you've done since you moved in (less than a year, right?). And I do have to agree, the baseboards look amazing :-) I mean, thank you so much!

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