Friday, October 17, 2014

Yin and Yang

I'm having one of those times in life that's relentlessly busy. It's also stressful, in a certain way that hits me hard - my endurance is being tested, and simultaneously my ability to stand at the precipice of change. Yeah, I know we're all being pushed and none of us knows what's coming next. But for me, that confluence of feelings is tough.

Since I haven't got much to say on the craft front - though I do have some knit-sewing, basic projects up my sleeve - why don't I bore you delight you with a little update on the New Regime. It's quickly becoming simply "the regime". The shiny sparkle of novelty has faded. Happily though, my commitment has not.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have a practice to support me at this time. That practice isn't always the essence of conscious engagement. It sometimes suffers from my extreme tiredness at the end of the day, or my full-body muscle spasms re: the fun that is hormones. I inevitably follow it up with a glass of wine and, often, a treat. But hey, I'm doing it and I know it's keeping me sane. So let's raise a glass (and eat a bowl of chips) to that.

From the vantage point of shape-evolution, I wouldn't say I've slendered much more in the last month - mind you, I haven't lost any ground. As far as I'm concerned, that's ok. This transformation is a process and I've got time.

Truth is, I've also got a lot of cortisol running through my system lately because my job is flat out. What I do requires the ability to process and analyze large volumes of complex content quickly. Then to provide advice. Thereafter begins the potentially arduous (but worthy) time of negotiation. Simultaneously, I write a lot of documents and brief at a bunch of meetings. There's no acceptable margin of error and the pace is constant.

Those of us prone to the adhesion of fat at the midsection (the apple-shaped for want of a better term) are particularly susceptible to the impacts of cortisol. I can definitely feel, after a week of mega-stress at work, increased puffiness and a decrease in awareness in my abdominal region. No, that's not fat, but it's a warning sign and it's one I'm taking seriously.

As per usual, I walk to and from work daily. Moreover, I'm now practicing yoga 5 times a week. Would it help if I cut back on the nightly glass of wine (and half bottle on weekend days)? Um, sure - from the vantage point of continuing to slim - but I think my mind would be in way worse shape! Wine-drinking is a delicious, sensory experience that improves food and takes me from the stress of the day to the welcome calm of the evening. BTW, I do the yoga first, natch - and while it moves me from the stressed state to one of increasing tranquility, it's no substitute for the mood-alteration technique that is a glass of Chianti. (Note: My bet's on my mother calling me when she reads this post, just to ensure that I'm not descending into alcoholism.)

But let's talk more about the Regime...

  • I have stopped doing "gym fitness". I really hate machines and bright lights and weights. I gave it a good try, and I'm sure I'll try it again in the future. But it still doesn't work for me.
  • I have also stopped going to yoga classes the gym. Those classes were a means to an end, as I knew from the get go. While they are safe, and social - and while they enforce infrastructure - they are not "taught". They're also not adequately challenging. I sense the need to work more intensively to gain the kind of cardio-fix my body seems to crave. And, truly, my knowledge of yoga asana languishes in those classes. Sure, we're all beginners in the classroom, but I want to explore my body in a wide range of poses - not the 30 one encounters over and over in the average, mid-range vinyasa class.
  • So, although the gym is a thing of the past - and thankfully too since it's fucking crowded and you can't swing a dead cat without running into people you know - my practice is happily ever-evolving. I have researched yoga studios that are known for small class sizes and new formats. I've begun to visit a couple of those to take a weekly class.
  • I also practice in my home studio on 4 other occasions per week, averaging an hour each time. I either devise my own sequence or, when I'm very tired, and would prefer to be told what to do, I do a My Yoga Online class. This isn't my first foray into My Yoga Online, but the format really has improved dramatically (and it was a good resource to begin with). The site offers hundreds of classes - and new classes are added weekly. (Note: I always try to preview each class I intend to do, once in advance, because I practice without my glasses so I can't see what's happening on the screen. This allows me to weed out the practices that don't suit and to discover new teachers and sequences I prefer). The advanced classes are hardcore. The intermediate ones can be pretty hardcore too. And this platform favours the yin method (in addition to other styles though, alas, Iyengar is not represented). I'm going to do a post on Yin Yoga sometime soon but, in brief it is an excellent adjunct to active practice (which focuses predominantly on the development of muscular strength and balance) to improve flexibility and mindfulness. Especially given the extreme muscle and fascia tension I experience semi-regularly, as a result of hormonal shifts, I find it incredibly useful to practice in this style once or twice a week. Please note: Though it is sometimes classified as "passive", I do not recommend it for beginners. This style is very confrontational and it presumes a baseline of flexibility and structural body awareness. It is also quite distinct - though I didn't realize this before I started practicing the method - from supported practice in the Iyengar style. Both are very useful, btw, but they're not working on the same things in the same ways.
People have asked me lately how I don't get side-lined the minute I walk in my front door. What I'll say is this: I do not make dinner (if Scott doesn't cook, we forage - and that includes my kid). I do not listen to messages. I do not tidy things up. I do not talk to anyone. I wash my face, put on my yoga gear and walk into the yoga room with my computer. If those with whom I live try to talk to me, I answer them monosyllabically. If they ask me to do something, I tell them no. 

The only way to prioritize one's practice - at least if you work full-time - is to put on a shield of selfishness. I can only urge you to become comfortable with that construct if you lead the "modern life" and you don't want to fall apart from stress and/or get fat.

On that topic, you'll notice my blogging is less frequent and it may remain this way until December. I LOVE to write, but it takes time. And the less time I have to do the things I love to write about, the less I have to say when I do have time to write. It's a circular scenario, apparently.

So that's where I'm at right now... I'd love to know if you work-out at home and, if yes, how do you keep yourself on track? (I need pointers! Full-time working mothers, your experience is particularly welcome...) Have you tried the Yin Yoga method? If yes, what are your thoughts on it? Do you find that work stress contributes to abdominal puffiness (wine consumption notwithstanding)? Is this my own personal experience? Let's talk!

17 comments:

  1. i use to have a gym membership but the crowds of people and crappy machines really put me off not to mention i don't appreciate it when guys lurk at ladies butts wobble as they run or take classes that involving jumping. UGH!

    plus, gym fees are just insulting (granted i live in nyc so the cost of everything is insulting) but you know what i mean. i think having access to fitness should be free for all who want to use it.

    i happily workout at home and will never go back. Youtube has been my go to for fitness video for years specifically the FitnessBlender channel. For yoga/pilates, I watch the DoYogaWithMe.com videos. I'm a yoga beginner so an expert I am not but I am really happy with there videos and donate to them often because I like what they do.

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    1. Thank you! for the DoYogaWithMe.com - I just did the short video for my neck, which has been bothering me. I saved the link.

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    2. It is expensive! And I want a little less sport and a little more club! But that would cost thousands a year... Thanks so much for telling us about that link. I will have to check it out. The film quality seems good - and I'm very impressed they can offer free content (even while requesting donations).

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  2. I'm always fascinated by your yoga posts - yoga is not for me, but I like learning about it.

    Working out at home is difficult for me. Our house is small, and I do get sidetracked. By going to the gym on the way home, I know exercise will definitely occur!

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    1. Thanks Kat! Getting sidetracked is VERY easy. But, when I'm really tired (or as the weather worsens and the evenings darken), I'm more likely to do yoga if I don't have to go out. It's like my reward for having done something :-) The key is to take it utterly seriously.

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  3. Love your yoga Posts! - Looking forward to the Yin Yoga explanation/review. :-)

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    1. Thanks! Oh, give me a while to come up with something :-)

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  4. I would like to read more on yoga and exercises to increase flexibility. I run, but would like to add somwthing diffrent to my regimen. I admire your ability to train at home!

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    1. I love reading about anything that talks about physical flexibility. I so love to feel flexible and to observe those who are flexible. It's like the physical expression of freedom.

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  5. Full-time working mom here (2 kids: 8 & 6). I've been on a journey for the last couple of years of unlearning everything I was taught and learning the new-to-me art of self-care.

    I'm realizing it's going to be a life-long process but I'm becoming OK with taking care of myself first and then worrying about hubby and kids.

    My problem is I never had an example like that growing up (martyr mom) and I still suffer from guilt sometimes. So, I schedule in arts/culture activities, dates w/ girlfriends, time to do what I like whether it's read and be in solitude, or something stimulating and social. It's always nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with all this stuff!--Helen

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    1. Helen: Thanks for sharing your story! And you are by no means the only one struggling. Sometimes, I think I'm struggling less than anyone because I rarely feel the guilt. But we're all struggling to find and maintain our identities in the face of so many life responsibilities. Keep on!

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  6. I've been doing a kettlebell and stretching routine at home every other day lately. I actually owe you some thanks for getting me motivated. I'm a work at home mom with a 9-month old and an 8 year old, so I suppose my schedule is quite different than yours, but what has worked for me is to do it in the morning--I'm not an early riser (sorry, dad!) and my most "motivated" time is around 9 AM. Which works out nicely because that's right before the little one wants to eat, so he plays with his toys while I work out, then I change (and sometimes shower), feed him and put him down for a nap. Then I scramble to get as much of my work done as possible before he wakes up. ;-)

    I'm sorry that the gym didn't work out for you, I loved the gym when I used to go. Of course, my gym was in the old folks home, so it was a small, quiet space...I don't think I'd like going to one of those places that's loud and busy either.

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    1. Wow - that is impressive! I could not get my ass out the door when I had a baby. You have 2 kids and you are doing kettleball! I'm afraid of kettleball! Now you're kind of motivating me...

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    2. I'm a total klutz, so it kind of terrifies me too (imagine crashing walls and such), but it's an amazing workout that doesn't take much time or investment, so it's perfect for me. :-)

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  7. "If those with whom I live try to talk to me, I answer them monosyllabically. If they ask me to do something, I tell them no."

    God I love you :-D. I find that the people that do this are usually much happier and well-adjusted than the people that drop whatever they are doing, all the time, for their partner/family's non-urgent needs. As an introvert time to myself is crucial for my very sanity, so I am very aggressive about making that happen. What others may see as selfishness I view as self-preservation.

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    1. It is most definitely self-preservation. And it makes for a better person when she feels like being selfless. :-)

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  8. I hate working out and I hate gyms like you. My sister has been trying to persuade me to sign up for her gym, which is quite fancy I'll admit. But I just can't be bothered. We have a treadmill and a gazelle in the basement so I use both of those daily (unless I just don't feel like it, which happens more than I like to admit). I've reduced my ballet from four days a week to two (my knees are getting too old for that grand plie in fourth business) and that's pretty much it. In the summer I swim almost every day and I'm thinking of taking that up this winter at an indoor pool. I also do this thing where if I have the day off, I'll walk my errands instead of exercising. I walk to the library and bank and that's about a good two miles.

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