Monday, August 16, 2010


For y'all who don't understand Twitter, I sympathize. FaceBook is the last thing in the world I ever intend to take on. Of course, unlike the privacy-zapping, sophmoric FB (get the impression I'm really not down with it? Or is that up with it?), Twitter is a lively, friendly micro-blogging village (again, my bias...). It's how I chat with innumerable of my fave internet peeps simultaneously, about all topics, profound and banal. And we do it concisely. Really. It's an art form.

A few days ago, I had the best "tweetversation" with one of my fave internet pals, Bel, about Mad Men, of all things, a show that has recently and entirely roped me in. Blame the summer-season dearth of television...

Bel's been into it since the get-go but I just started buying the old episodes on iTunes. All was going well until idiotic Apple decided to raise the per-episode, standard definition, price from .99 to 2.49. WTF?! So now I rely on articles about the past seasons, and info from friends, to keep me abreast of plot elements from the past that relate to the current show.

I've seen enough of the old stuff to know that this season is veering, on all levels, into much grittier territory. Gone is the mid-century beauty in all things. In its stead, we see pop art and space-aged and the interference of fluorescent light. I mean, the set is so meh, it might as well be the 70s.

But that's not really where I'm going with this post.

Where I'm going is into reflection about the utter genius of Bel's insight. I mean, yes, we were talking about a TV show, but that woman - therapist by trade - sees subtext everywhere. By the time our little chat was done, I'd revisited my knowledge of the Electra complex, the notion of "self made" as an avoidance tactic and the Jungian principles of anima and animus.

It put me in mind of Bel's recent post on dream analysis, in which she described a dream of her own and welcomed feedback from readers who know her / the myriad details of her life. She also invited readers to describe their own recent dreams - to overwhelming response. What's most fascinating is that her gut, 2-sentence analysis was so true to so many readers, we could only gawk in awe.

To wit: I spoke about how my sleep had been incredibly dull lately and glibly suggested that, in one of my most recent dreams, I was so bored I sensed my psyche was begging me to wake up.

She responded (to the effect of ): "I interpret what your psyche is trying to tell you a more literally than you do."

And I just sat there with shivers considering my utter complexity.

In response to the incredible feedback on the dream post - and the terrific fun she had with it -she's just begun remote dream analysis coaching. How utterly modern-tech plus! While I haven't taken part yet, it is on my near-to-do list because I know it will be thought-provoking to life changing, depending on the day.

Different people look for different things from therapy. Some want a parent-figure, some a teacher. Some are looking for boot camp. Others want a virtual spa.

It recently occured to me: I'm seeking a spirit guide.

I've worked with many therapists over the years. I've contemplated my inner depth by talking, by changing behaviour, in movement, with lists. With two exceptions, I've always felt a fundamental lack of connection with those therapists. I functioned with one set of principles, in accordance with my own (frenetic) pace. They worked on another wavelength - one that - despite all good intentions - didn't tap into my "intenseness" (for want of a less preposterous word).

Feeling alone in therapy is not fun. Sensing that I'm there to be educated just irritates me.

Every conversation I've had with Bel - and they go back a few years now - has made me feel understood and acknowledged. Furthermore, she sees the encroachment of self-awareness as a totally cool adventure, meant to be shared and marveled at. Just look at her (tremendously honest) blog. She's not perched from above as you struggle in the regular domain.

Never mind fixing yourself. If you've got an emotional foundation, Bel will help you to build the house you want to live in. No renovation is out of scope.


  1. Whenever I have a conversation with her—live or via e-mail—I feel all the same things you mention here. She's a really warm and understanding person.

    (LaBel, are you listening!?)

  2. Her dream analysis is always spot-on! Very helpful!

  3. I am listening. And I am crying. I am DEEPLY touched. DEEPLY. Dear, dear, dear K-line. I will NEVER-EVER-EVER forget the first email you sent me. It was a day when I wrote a post about a very hard time and you wrote me and you were so honest and generous and available. I was profoundly touched by your generosity of spirit and by your dazzling intelligence. It was a wonderful beginning to a wonderful friendship.

    I so enjoyed our MadMan chat. I wish we had watched it together from the beginning. That is a show that is much richer for all the subtext. I only wish we could watch it together!

    I have to tell you that when I wrote the dream post I never imagined that people would share their dreams to such a degree and I never imagined that in just a few sentences I would be able to offer any meaningful interpretations. But the truth is that what we write and how we write says so much about us...we can't really hide who are and I am glad of that.

    That post inspired me to start doing remote dream work and I hope that those I work with never experience me as remote. I think that my role as a dream coach or as a therapist is to be a companion on the journey. I don't see myself as the one who knows. Rather, i seem myself as the one who can see things from another perspective. And, like you, I believe that connection that is palpable is vital for real work to occur.

    I started this comment in tears and that is where I am ending( full circle). Thank you, dear K-line, for your tremendous gifts of friendship and for this extremely generous post.
    p.s. I think I am going to take the last three lines of this gorgeous post and add it to my business card.

  4. OH my Bel, is fabulous and warm and caring. And your post is wonderful.

  5. Excellent, warm words! I couldn't agree with you more about the lovely LBR.

    The comments about your psyche are indeed intriguing. Dream coaching would be totally fantastic.

  6. How wonderful that blogging has connected you two giving, caring, amazing women.

  7. I share your affinity for Miss LBR. I adore her. Her generosity of spirit transcends anything human. She is at once a gifted therapist as well as a precious fellow human traveler.
    I'm a fan or hers and now yours!

  8. Dear enc, Wendy, Mardel and Hannah: Thank you all so much. Really! today isn't even my birthday or my blogaversary or anything. I am such a lucky gal to have friends like you. You all know how to make a gal feel good.

    And thanks again, K-line! I want you to know that I called He-weasel at work to read him your post and I read it to my mother too. I am so very touched. They are too. Love you MUCH!

  9. Agreed. La Bel is wonderful!
    Great post.

  10. Thanks to Iheart, Steph and Sal! You ladies are so wonderful. Thank you so much.

  11. It seems like we're all on the same page about our wonderful friend, La Belette Rouge.

    E: You are so lucky to have a chance to lunch with Bel on occasion (and she to lunch with you)!

    Wendy: It's intense, no?

    Bel: I am so HAPPY that this post is meaningful to you. Your insights are so meaningful to me, so it's the least I can do. Just remember, your analysis, like your writing (and your friendship) are entirely the real deal. The blogosphere is lucky to have you.I can't believe you read it to your mother. I feel so special! xoxo

    Mardel: Thank you! And I'm serious about doing some dream analysis with Bel. You know you want to! :-)

    Hannah: I can't wait for a dream worthy of the therapy...

    Sal: I can't remember how I found La Belette Rouge. Something tells me you had something to do with it. You always send me to the best blogs!

    Stephanie: What a lovely comment. Thank you!

  12. Darling, what a post. I have had some amazing twit chats; I only wish this is one I had been part of. What a confirmation of the brilliance of women like Bel who substantiate Twitter as a medium for meaningful conversation, not merely banal blab.

    I live, die, and live again through Mad Men. I've never identified with a male character more than I have with Don Draper...

    My Don Juan who dons different identities on cue. Wish he'd pull the curtain (or shall I say the drapes?) on this act. He can be such a Dick. Oh Don.

  13. Came via LaBel's FB link here. What a marvelous post about her. She is amazing. And I agree with wrote the best three lines possible for her business cards!

  14. Oh K this is such a great post!!!!
    My english isn't enough to say how I feel about Bel (ma belle, as I call her) and how wonderful this post is. (Despite I've never seen a Mad Men show, yes, it seems I live in another planet...)

    You are two amazing girls!!!!


  15. Art Style: you need to join us in out Twitter Mad Men chats. I ADORE your line:"My Don Juan who dons different identities on cue. Wish he'd pull the curtain (or shall I say the drapes?) on this act. He can be such a Dick. Oh Don." Don would too. I think he would either try to hire you or attempt to Don Juan you.

  16. I love Belette. I love her blog, her honesty, and her big heart.

    PS: A girl who sees subtext everywhere is a girl to keep around. Just sayin'...


  17. I share everyone's enthusiasm for Belette. In the short time I've known her she's proven my first principle, which is that the very best most accomplished people are also the most generous.