Next Time I Get Married I Wear This

The bain of my mother's life is that I didn't invite her to my wedding. And that's not because I don't love her, but because I couldn't bear the idea of being a bride and having a traditional ceremony the likes of which swirled with undertones of patriarchal hegemony in my nonconformist imagination. Natch, I eloped.


Just cuz, I've decided, when I've been married 20 years I'll have a wedding to which I'll invite all of the slighted parties. It will be very elegant. And I'll probably wear something stunningly understated like this:

Retro-Gorgeous Andrea of A Cat of Impossible Colour

You Can Actually Walk in These...

That day when M and I went to get the Webkinz, I just happened upon these. Which is to say, I was walking by the Aldo in Dufferin Mall (hardly the choicest location - but definitely the cheapest) and they called to me from the window. These shoes are a really lovely, soft rich leather and the style is just retro enough, just modern enough to work with practically everything. Turns out I got the last size 9 in this colour. Rather strangely, while I was trying them, 3 other women asked for the very same size and shade. They all gave me hate looks as I said I'd take 'em. The best: They were $70.00. Very well-priced for such a wearable shoe.

I Feel So B'Loved!

Today, as I was leaving the house to get to work (following a lovely long weekend visiting with my mother), I was struck - as I always am under these circumstances - by how truly suboptimal the whole "global" thing can be.

I was doing quite well, saying good-bye to my mum, putting a good face on seeing her 2-3 times a year for a few days, when my child really brought it all home. M was inconsolable at the thought of her grammy (whom she sees so infrequently and with such joyful fanfare) leaving practically moments after her arrival. It reminded me of my own profound depression and feelings of loss when, as a child who always lived far from family, my grandparents would visit and leave in largely the same scenario.

Joy and sadness really are so linked.

But how, you may wonder, does this segue into a post about happiness and blog friendship? Well, corollaries really are the name of the game here. The global expansion that sees my family living 1000 miles away is the same one that facilitates my camaraderie with all of you. And that's a big fucking deal as far as I'm concerned!

In the last week I've been particularly fortunate to receive a whole bunch of love tags from many of you. I am so grateful for these:

I Love Your Blog:


This was given to me by my fave expat sistah, Miss C and my fave New Zealander, Andrea of A Cat of Impossible Colour.

Now I get to pass this along to seven of my fave blogs! (I know this one's been floating for a while so, if you've been double tagged by me, just consider yourself that much more loved. I sure do!)

Yulanda's little thoughts has some big photos. And by big I mean incredibly beautiful.


Cheap Jap, one of my newer reads, is incisive and it has a lot of nerve. It's also very sound on shopping principles.


La Belette Rouge writes courageously about difficult things and difficult times. I'm so pleased to have discovered this fantastic blog.


Already pretty Sal is a great, straight-shooting writer and the kind of girl, I know, would help me out of any jam. She turned me onto Cheap Jap. So she's very on the pulse.


Please Sir does all the interiors so chicly! I look forward to her antique finds and beautiful ideas each day.


Monkey Muck, creation of the illustrious Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein (it's his real name), is a fantastic window onto smart American politics read by smart Americans (and other nationalities!)


Skye, from Skylark and Son, is a take-no-prisoners adventurer in all ways. Can't wait to see how her new life unfolds over the next few weeks.


Beautiful Blogger Award:

Now this one is a fab award to receive, not only because it's such an adorable photo and terrific sentiment, but because it was started by Hammie, a truly fantastic writer, advocate, mother, stylista and all around super being.

Having talked up this award's originator, I must also tell you how thrilled I am to have been tagged by FashionAbility, my window onto the very mysterious South Africa and a creative force who finds some of the most evocative photos from the past I've ever seen. I always look forward to her new posts. When she stopped blogging for a while earlier this year, I was sooooo upset!


The rules for this one are:

1. The nominated person can put the picture on their blog.
2. Share the love and link back to both the person who awarded you and back to the person who founded the award, Hammie'sblog.
3. Give it to two bloggers and link to them.
4. Leave a message on those people's blogs to make them aware that they're nominated.
5. You are free to pass it on again, when you are "inspired" by a beautiful post or a beautiful blog.

Enc of observationmode, unsurprisingly, is one of my two inspirational recipients. I have been reading her blog for months, I love her way of expressing herself, her populism, her great shoe choices, her shopping integrity. So here's to you E!


Matt aka Imelda, Despotic Queen of Shoes, is insane in the most excellent way! He tells it like he sees it, sees a lot of things and isn't afraid to take a chance. And he likes zebra print...


I ♥ This Blog (Not to be confused with I Love Your Blog - above)


Seeker is a sensitive, poetic soul with an eye for the colour and great shapes that suit her super figure! Thanks to her for considering me when handing out this award.

Here are the rules for this one...

1. The nominated is allowed to put the picture on his/her blog.
2. Link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate seven other people and link to them.
4. Leave a message on those people's blog to make them aware that they're nominated.

Editor, of Into Construction, blows my mind with challenging questions and great ensembles.

The Clothes Horse, now the travelling clothes horse, makes stylishly jumping from place to place seem easy.

WendyB, new aunt and gorgeous philanthropist, also designs some fairly great jewels and writes about history like nobody's business!

Mahalo Fashion gives great celeb photos with commentary. And Jen comes up with the longest posts I've ever seen. Like, as long as this one :-)

One of the joys of blogging, is learning about new sites. One of my new faves is Make, Do and Mend. I feel like I'm in fashion school :-)

And speaking of new, have you check out C'est Si Belle? It's Songy's new offering and it's picturey delight.

I always like to acknowledge the tried and true, and Fructzwerg's Island is a terrific blog showcasing gorgeous German style.

11 Little Things Meme:

Enc, my favourite thinker who acts on her thoughts, tagged me with this super fun meme. After much consideration, here are my 11:

1. Clothes Shop: Impossible to choose though I love Club Monaco

2. Furniture Shop: Man, this is a challenging game! Also can't choose but I'll go with Style Garage

3. Sweet: OK, obviously not a meme for the indecisive amongst us. I'm gonna say coffee ice cream but that is so not the only one, it's not funny.


4. City: Montreal


5. Drink: Perrier


6. Music: Young & Sexy


7. TV Series: This Hour Has 22 Minutes


8. Film: I see about 2 movies a year, and I'm embarrassed to say that film just doesn't stick in my mind... The last film I saw was Penelope (on video).


9. Workout: Yoga


10. Pastries: Clafouti or anything with a custard base


11. Coffee: Short, dry, extrahot, double shot cappuccino

I wanna know about the preferences of anyone who wants to tell me. Seriously, try it. This one is fun to do...

Quirks Meme:


And, finalement (phew), Songy, a woman who speaks 3 languages and wears sneakers like they're Manolo's, has tagged me to learn about my quirks :-):

1. Link back to the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking to them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers blogs letting them know they've been tagged
6. You can now display this charming dalek image i created when tagged!

It is a charming image!

OK,

1. When I get stressed, I sweep the floor.

2. I can sing pretty well.

3. I can't stand things when they are askew. That means, if magazines or trivets or anything (really) is on a wonky angle, I cannot relax until I straighten it out. (Or sweep.)

4. I love fresh flowers and try to have at least 3 vases of them in my house at all times.

5. I always match my underwear and it's always gorgeous.

6. I will talk to anyone, anywhere. I am truly NOT shy.

I'd love to know a few quirky details about Lavender & Yolk, SisterW at Goddamit I'm Mad, Etoilee8 at So Much to Come, Nadine at Strawberry Kitten, Super Kawaii Mama and Jill at Couture Salope.

Now I need to lie down :-)

Thing I Love

One day last fall, my husband came home from work early to take care of me when I was feeling sick. Ostensibly, this means he checked in to make sure I was still alive and then got on the phone with clients, but hey, I'll take what I can get. What makes this particular look-after so sweet is that he brought with him a little giftie - a new iPod Touch for me. It was a first version one, so it still has some glitches that I understand the newer version doesn't have, but I sure was cool for a few weeks before everyone got on the bandwagon. And it gave me something to do other than contemplate my eventual demise. (I'm morbid in sickness.)

Cut to this weekend when my husband, in another generous techie gesture, got me the software upgrade (those installation things are so tedious to do for oneself) and then bought me one of the new applications: Ambiance.

Here's where I tell you about a little problem I have: I am regrettably noise-sensitive for a person who lives amongst millions of people in a downtown neighbourhood. Like, noise makes me sort of insane. I mean, people I know think I'm insane and recommend treatment. Just ask my childhood friend Hilary, who remembers being woken up a dozen times nightly whenever we did sleepovers (which was practically every night) because I cannot bear the sound of people breathing. Like, my own child was relegated to her own room at 5 days of age not because I didn't believe in co-sleeping, but because she was so noisy it wrecked my only chance at 20 minutes of groggy sleep to have her in the bed. And don't get me started on bass noise. That, my friends, is enough to make me homicidal. Really. Or ready to move to Ottawa. (BTW, people in Ottawa are incredibly polite and orderly and don't believe in bothering one's neighbours with tooth-stabbing bass thud. And they're bilingual!) This little challenge has caused rifts in friendship, marital strife. My own parents thought I was a freak for telling them, during my teenage years, to keep the noise down please.

Earplugs are for sissies. I'm sorry but earplugs do nothing to absorb the pound of bass noise - or the screeching of tires or the moving of furniture. And, I don't mean to imply that I'm living in some heathen neighbourhood of bass-wielding, drag-racing, late night redecorators - but some summer weekends are a magnet for the unsavory element. I'm like an urban chick from the ears down - but those babies are suburban all the way.

OK - you get the picture, which is why, when my husband went to the effort of researching and then installing this new rela-plication (just made that up, get it?), which allows me to choose between 4 shades of white noise, trains or subways and 10 different versions of running water - each able to mask less desirable sounds - I took it in the loving spirit in which it was most obviously offered. Not to mention it was sexily self-preservational. That boy is so multitasking it's ridiculous.

Do You Agree?

The things kids carve into wet cement these days...

PS: My mother arrives for a visit today so I'll be taking a few days off. Will return next week. Have a great few days, y'all!

The Wrap Dress: A Dissertation

Lately I've been seeing women in wrap dresses everywhere. I mean, it is the time of year (and we are experiencing a merciful autumn warm patch, to counterbalance the miserable wet, cold summer that just finished). But, I'm talking 50 wrap dresses this week if I've seen one. And, I regret to inform you, anecdotally, this apparently "fool-proof" style looks fairly wretched on about half of the bodies it confidently sheaths. Hence this "How To" post, this ode to the wrap.

For starters, let me concede that I own 4 of this style of dress. One is zebra-print and sleeveless, another has this insane brown, orange, pink and black pattern. One is the most perfect shade of green. The fourth, a simple black. I love to wear them with boots, dainty shoes, big jewels, bolero shrugs. Let me also suggest (feel free to disagree, of course) that mine is an apt figure for this style: fairly symmetrical, narrow in the waist, hour-glass, slim-calved. Oh, trust me, there are 8000 other looks I'd be thrilled to say are all mine, looks I can't pull off to save my life (translucent silk blouse with necktie, anyone?) but this one seems to work on me. How fortunate that I also find it appealing.

Ms. Von Furstenburg would like you to believe that every woman can experience her inner glamazon simply by wearing a wrap dress. I'm inclined to disagree. To wit, the following is a list of figure attributes that don't work optimally with the wrap:

• An extremely narrow waist against a rather wide derriere: It makes the skirt of the dress hang as if on a shelf.

• A soft mid-section: If the belted area of the waist is fleshy, one tends to look lumpy.

• A flat chest: Sorry lovelies, while the flat chest is de rigeur for just about every sexy fashiony look, this one is an exception. Unless you happen to be taller than 5"8, angular and without body fat anywhere else. Then you work the ballerina angle.

• Untoned, broad arms (though, the right fabric can suck it all in and mitigate this problem)

• Breasts of observably disparate sizes: Most women have one larger breast but the wrap, which highlights the tits, reveals aysmmetry in the most unforgiving manner. If you fall into this camp and you want to wear a wrap, make sure your bra can solve the problem (put a little padding in the smaller side / wear a molded cup).

Furthermore, few garments rely as heavily on the perfect underpinnings as this piece. Please, please, please heed these guidelines:

• Your bra must fit precisely (see this previous post for some clarity). In brief (ha), the band needs to adhere to your chest at the centre valley, the cups have to fit snugly (but not too snugly) over the breasts. When you remove the shoulder straps, while the cups may slip off the breasts, the band around your ribcage should not budge. You must wear something that lifts the tits. No drooping allowed!!

• The bra should be a nude colour (to be invisible) or black (under something dark) and should be seamless and smooth so that the wrap fabric glides against it.

• Wear a thong, end of story. This look is about ease (and power). I'm sorry, but I don't think Spanx work well under these circumstances. They are too restrictive, at odds with the subtext of the style. If you'd like something to control "dimplage", I suggest a sexy silk slip. Note: My friend Sandra, a wrap dress wearer from way back, disagrees with the thong. She feels it leaves a line at the hip. I say that doesn't happen with a well-fitting thong having a wide-ish band. Maybe this depends on one's unique physiology? What do you believe?
  

• If the pluge is deep, or if your midsection isn't tremendously toned, wear a cami. Otherwise you may look lumpy or louche.

And, if ever there were a style requiring good posture, this one is it. Find your inner book-balancer. Lift your crown. Let your shoulders release and roll back for a long neck. Drop your tailbone as if a weight were suspended from it while you lift the breastbone up. That's what will draw your abdomen in and lengthen any waist.

The semiotic subtext of the dress (may I be so bold?) is fertility. Its structure and drape is all about highlighting the fertility touch points of the female form: breasts, hips, waist. Amongst those Biology sorts, symmetry is time and again associated with (re)productivity. Amongst the fashion designer sorts, it's associated with easy sex appeal. I've spoken with many women about the wrap dress, all of whom utter variations on the theme of: "Every time I wear the thing at least 8 guys try to get with me."

In my opinion, the reason the look is powerful is because it cuts to the chase. It says look at me. Not at my outfit. Look at me. Next time you wear one, all decked out and confident, look back. I have a strong feeling you will like what you see.

What I Wore

OK, no one is ever going to accuse this of being the most flattering photo, but I tried to do one of Sal's scarf tying techniques and something went somewhat amiss. I've been told sometimes I don't follow instruction so well :-) Sal: I will try harder tomorrow.

PS: Sal's taking her act on the road. Check out her new column at Capessa...