tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post2170799223595918950..comments2024-02-27T07:37:46.350-05:00Comments on K-Line: My Baby, Myself: An EpicK.Linehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15350615302797686048noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-36221539313568753732009-05-06T15:57:00.000-04:002009-05-06T15:57:00.000-04:00Skye: There really is no way to know how one is go...Skye: There really is no way to know how one is going to react - or what one may face as a parent. The only thing we can do is make informed choices, with optimism. The likelihood is that all will go well. And if we don't act out of fear, it's not much better. But I hear you. I mean, I'm not jumping on the kid no. 2 bandwagon...<br /><br />Editor: Your comment is a delight. Made me laugh. I sense we have had some of the same parenting moments...K.Linehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15350615302797686048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-23052756333208620112009-05-06T00:18:00.000-04:002009-05-06T00:18:00.000-04:00i like you.i like you.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08154615284957070071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-30408494803117364472009-05-04T18:29:00.000-04:002009-05-04T18:29:00.000-04:00Very intense and still raw I think, thank you for ...Very intense and still raw I think, thank you for sharing it with us all.<br /><br />I have had such a lovely blissful free ride in a lot of ways with my parenting, that I do actively fear having another because of all the things you talk about here. What if I dodged a bullet the first time, but won't the second? I thing going in with eyes open is the only thing I can do - and that is one reason why it is important for people to share their stories the way you have done here.Skyehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11956978624939655725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-87863614908371351852009-05-04T13:49:00.000-04:002009-05-04T13:49:00.000-04:00Imogen: I hear you on all accounts. But it's so im...Imogen: I hear you on all accounts. But it's so impossible to explain the ominpresent complexity of parenthood to those that aren't in the midst of it, don't you think? Even I, with a 9 year old, struggle to remember the exhaustion and tedium of the first couple of years. And I've been there!<br /><br />T: I've fallen off the face of the earth. Can you tell? We have to get together ASAP. Still experiencing renos at my house. You up for an excursion to my neighbourhood on Sat. am?<br /><br />Hammie: Thanks for your great comment. I love how this post has brought out a new side in moms - one that's as relevant to the experience as the loving / happy stereotype (which is also true, of course). You mention control and the loss of it. I should have included that in my ramblings. Of course, it's the perceived (and actual) loss of control over everything that is so scary - and maddening. You are an awesome mother under very difficult circumstances and I respect you for that tremendously. Kxo<br /><br />Janet: Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like an alien in the mom scene. And I imagine that therapy can reframe a number of childhood life experiences :-)K.Linehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15350615302797686048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-11424110517665270202009-05-04T10:45:00.000-04:002009-05-04T10:45:00.000-04:00Great post!
I relate to so much of what you say ab...Great post!<br />I relate to so much of what you say about mothering. In my experience it's gruelingly hard work, albeit at times rewarding in ways I couldn't have imagined. Most of the time I consider myself totally unsuited to motherhood, but desperately trying to make a go of it and not screw my kids up too badly. And then there are the good days...The Spicershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08667011381331956751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-45656351241582584602009-05-04T05:59:00.000-04:002009-05-04T05:59:00.000-04:00wow K. Welcome to the things we are not supposed t...wow K. Welcome to the things we are not supposed to say club. As you know my children have defied all my attempts at planning and organising and I think I could have easily tipped into madness, had there been anyone to catch me when I fell.<br /><br />I think that's when religion makes sense, who else could find someone as controlling and obsessive as me, and throw them two children with as many variables as there are stars in the sky. <br /><br />But I think what the "higher power" did throw me before I had my two little challenges, a missed baby; which gave me the ability to be grateful for my kids robust health despite their neurology. <br /><br />I think I have know for a while how similar we are as people and mothers. And yet there was no stereotypical "misfit" mother in my story books. Someone who needs to be the best at everything, so feels let down by biology after a difficult birth (x2) who doesn't fit in to the "mum scene" but no longer has the passion for the work scene; which seems a bit meaningless.<br /><br />"Anyone can make a Cabernet Shiraz, I recently made a person- so shut up and give me an order so I can go home to my babies"<br /><br />xxLisamareehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18445509438246694219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-84166426113157907032009-05-03T17:45:00.000-04:002009-05-03T17:45:00.000-04:00Dude, am dying to see you.Dude, am dying to see you.Tanya Espanyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15608494032531056424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-76340412747543929382009-04-30T16:02:00.000-04:002009-04-30T16:02:00.000-04:00So true - I love my kids, but often wish I was chi...So true - I love my kids, but often wish I was childfree - I miss that freedom! But I also wouldn't want to be without them, it is the complex of motherhood.<br /><br />I'd never do a home birth - i would have died if I hadn't been in hospital giving birth to my son (cervical tear and lots of blood loss), he would have died too.<br /><br />I think it's important that women don't always go on about how wonderful and perfect motherhood is - so much of it is drudgery and babies are boring conversationalists!Imogen Lamport, AICI CIPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16796095692232856223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-27724936154675115772009-04-30T12:45:00.000-04:002009-04-30T12:45:00.000-04:00~h: That sounds kind of adorable :-) Surround your...~h: That sounds kind of adorable :-) Surround yourself with the reality. It's good to see all sides of the story and then decide which path is best for you.<br /><br />Sister: Amen to that. So sorry about your little baby having had to wear a monitor. That must have been so hard on his delicate baby skin. And so brutal for you to see everytime you picked him up. Such a visceral reminder of things that can go wrong, would be hideous. I'm very happy for you that you are on the flip side of that experience. KxoK.Linehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15350615302797686048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-71583831554567713952009-04-30T12:41:00.000-04:002009-04-30T12:41:00.000-04:00Kitten: It all seems analytical 9 years later :-) ...Kitten: It all seems analytical 9 years later :-) I only wish I could have found some footing sooner!<br /><br />Imogen: I can only imagine the stress of that ambulence ride. PND is such a horror. The power of hormones (and neurotransmitters) is not to be trifled with!<br /><br />Ms. U: I'm sure you will be an excellent help to your sister and a great aunt. Make sure you post some photos on your blog! <br /><br />Ms. Wendy: You are kind but, if you ask anyone who knows me, I don't think they'd be inclined to say I pulled it off with much aplomb. Step kids - grown ones - sound like terrific fun!<br /><br />Thank you Seeker xo<br /><br />Y: It's unusual for a kid to see things from her parents' perspective! Especially one who isn't yet a mum. Kudos to you :-) And Sick Kids is an awesome hospital. PS - Could Natasha have been more inappropriate :-)<br /><br />droll: There are many, many rewarding and meaningful things to do in life that have nothing to do with raising kids. I didn't mean to imply in this post (if I did) that I'm a better person because -as a mother - I have cornered the market on "worthiness". I think doing something super hard has made me better.<br /><br />Solo: If your mother knows how much you appreciate her (and I'm sure she does) that makes a HUGE difference.<br /><br />Anon: Thanks for your comment - that'a a great way to look at it - standing in the veil between life and death. Spookily apt.<br /><br />Bel: If my honesty makes any difference to anyone who wants kids desperately, but can't seem to have them, then I think I will have done something terrific! Truly, it is so far from fairytale and that myth leads many unsuited candidates into the fray. Furthermore, I truly hope - and believe - that it's "easier" to manage the hard reality of child-free-ness (when one desires a child tremendously) if one's perspective is tempered by all the facets of parenting. Biology can be deceptive by mandate...<br /><br />Thank you CC xo<br /><br />Miss C: You are a super hero. I would never undergo another drug free birth! :-)<br /><br />Thanks so much, La C!<br /><br />Maegan: It was your post last week that brought this one on! It's so confusing - wanting children / not having them. Just needed to say (and hopefully give comfort - or at least well-roundedness to the story) that wanting children / having them brings its own insistent challenges. My friend, who wanted children more than anything and now has 2 (she loves them tremendously), likes to say "Freedom is wasted on the free." When I saw her struggle, I knew it must be happening to everyone.K.Linehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15350615302797686048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-87363643271072893372009-04-30T02:21:00.000-04:002009-04-30T02:21:00.000-04:00My younger son was premature and had to wear a hea...My younger son was premature and had to wear a heart monitor for six months. No one would babysit for me, because they feared his heart would stop.<br /><br />Motherhood cannot be comprehended by anyone who hasn't been through it. xoSister Wolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13105400876362635324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-36428401776941035182009-04-29T23:18:00.000-04:002009-04-29T23:18:00.000-04:00It's so nice to read a post that talks about the O...It's so nice to read a post that talks about the OTHER side of it all ...the side that I lean toward much of the time but that gets wiped away when I'm hormonal and think I need a child to complete me. ...and wow. your birth story. I've often thought I'd go the same way; midwife, home birth, etc. but I couldn't imagine if something went wrong. oh the horrors. I think I'll pass :) ..for now anyway...lol. great post!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15540367324651819913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-49945895509144828552009-04-29T21:37:00.000-04:002009-04-29T21:37:00.000-04:00What a lovely story! A difficult experience indeed...What a lovely story! A difficult experience indeed but it opens people's eyes!<br /><br />Bisous,<br />La C.A BIT COQUETTISHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04081516814772868976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-49021578784251453662009-04-29T20:04:00.000-04:002009-04-29T20:04:00.000-04:00I get this entirely. Our pre-marriage agreement w...I get this entirely. Our pre-marriage agreement was *not* to have children (at my request). Obviously we did, but some eight years later. All births would have been drug free, had the young man not need some emergency medical assistance, and they were all grueling!Miss Cavendishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17461488799928956875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-10255305609071735782009-04-29T16:21:00.000-04:002009-04-29T16:21:00.000-04:00This is such a lovely and life-affirming story! Yo...This is such a lovely and life-affirming story! You write beautifully about a difficult experience!<br /><br />xoxox,<br />CCCouture Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07401719580947285891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-63881113057204773802009-04-29T14:18:00.000-04:002009-04-29T14:18:00.000-04:00I have been waiting for this post. I knew from our...I have been waiting for this post. I knew from our off blog emails that it was coming. I am endlessly in awe of your honesty. Truly, everywhere I go and every time I read an interview I hear people saying that parenting is the best thing thy have ever done and it has only changed their life in the most magical of ways. All that said, your honesty means so much to me. I know that nothing is perfect and everything has its price but sometimes I am sucked in by the fairytale.<br /><br />It is, as you so beautifully explain, possible to not love "full-on parenting" but to love your child "irrationally". Beautiful and touching post.La Belette Rougehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05686717070120116918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-46941662080474703722009-04-29T04:09:00.000-04:002009-04-29T04:09:00.000-04:00In my opinion childbirth is the closest we come to...In my opinion childbirth is the closest we come to touching the thin veil between life and death without actually being born or dying. And motherhood is really like being fired in a kiln, making us stronger and infinitely more robust or shattering us into a million tiny pieces. You write so truthfully about your experience, it's lovely to read. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-28076395146504320752009-04-29T04:07:00.000-04:002009-04-29T04:07:00.000-04:00Oh i'd love to read this always..;D
I know that be...Oh i'd love to read this always..;D<br />I know that being a parent is the hardest thing that a woman will be..And i should know that coz of my mother.She'd done everything for us until now...;D<br />Lovely post..;D<br /><br />http://www.solofoodtrip.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17160228370549404217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-41953391909356680922009-04-29T00:20:00.000-04:002009-04-29T00:20:00.000-04:00whoa. what a post! it was so good to read this. ...whoa. what a post! it was so good to read this. i am not a parent but am fascinated by what they go through. i am not sure i could do it, even tho most seem to say that is the most rewarding and difficult thing to go through in life.drollgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17098844996589898590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-31624141365197763112009-04-28T21:33:00.000-04:002009-04-28T21:33:00.000-04:00Aww, you got rid of Natasha. Or whatever her name ...Aww, you got rid of Natasha. Or whatever her name was. haha.yulandahttp://littlethoughts.twelve45.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-26659985766435297572009-04-28T18:34:00.000-04:002009-04-28T18:34:00.000-04:00I'm trying to come out with a word other then ...I'm trying to come out with a word other then intense, but that seems most fitting. It's interesting to read about adjusting to motherhood that's not the typical sunshine & rainbows view. I also agree with the person who said that motherhood usually changes a person for the better.<br /><br />Even though I'm not a mother I can definitely feel for how you felt with M since my parents no doubt went through similar emotions with me. That said, I have nothing but the most positive things to say about Sick Kids. It's truly a world class facility.yulandahttp://littlethoughts.twelve45.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-5414148037349157892009-04-28T15:57:00.000-04:002009-04-28T15:57:00.000-04:00Intense story, my dear, thanks for sharing with us...Intense story, my dear, thanks for sharing with us.<br />I have no experience in being a mother, but I know it's not an easy thing and you've done it against all odds wonderfully.<br /><br />xoxoSeekerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04128993876847534647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-10692121309308256442009-04-28T11:36:00.000-04:002009-04-28T11:36:00.000-04:00Intense is right. Another story that makes me thin...Intense is right. Another story that makes me think I'm best suited for stepchildren! I don't think I would have pulled it together as well as you.WendyBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00985099019783464580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-56613832467623580802009-04-28T09:47:00.000-04:002009-04-28T09:47:00.000-04:00Thank you so much for sharing this, it's a tough b...Thank you so much for sharing this, it's a tough but touching tale. I think there's some odd pressure for everyone to assert that everything associated with parenthood is shiny and happy and perfect...but to be honest, I'm in the sidelines about to become an AUNT for the very first time...and even I'm <I>petrified</I>. Just the thought of babysitting sets of involuntary paralysis. I hope I can get my act together in time to be a good aunt and a good sister.Ms Unreliablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18119338192240308159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1606088928583067206.post-79510564739975716972009-04-28T08:31:00.000-04:002009-04-28T08:31:00.000-04:00Parenthood changes you as a person, and I think u...Parenthood changes you as a person, and I think usually for the better.<br /><br />I couldn't be a full time mummy, I need to work and have time away from my beautiful children. Love them as I do, they're not intellectually stimulating. PND showed me that folly.<br /><br />I've never had a really sick child, though only at Easter I had a trip in an ambulance with my son after he had an accident falling off his bike - that was stressful enough.<br /><br />I do love to see the world again through a child's eye, rather than my own very jaded ones - that is a joy.Imogen Lamport, AICI CIPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16796095692232856223noreply@blogger.com